Why Women Have Sex

Compiled by Steven Fearing

The following is a summary of the research described in the book Why Women Have Sex (2009) by Cindy Meston, Ph.D., and David Buss Ph.D. Meston is a leading expert on the psychophysiology of women’s sexuality. Buss is an evolutionary psychologist and one of the world’s scientific experts on strategies of human mating. The study respondents were 1006 women, aged 18-86, from the U.S., Canada, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Israel, and China. Ninety-three percent said they were predominantly heterosexual. Sex was defined only as sexual intercourse. Respondents chose from a list of 237 reasons identified from an earlier study and also gave narrative accounts of their motivations.

Women Have Sex:

to solve evolutionary adaptive problems that provide specific benefits/advantages related to intersexual selection (preferential mate choice) and intra-sexual (same-sex) competition, and to ensure access to higher-quality mates in order to produce quality offspring. (Darwin’s theory of sexual selection.)
because they are biochemically attracted (#1 reported reason overall) conferring unconscious signals for genetic and resource benefits.
to experience pleasure, because it “feels good” (reason #2).
to experience and express love and emotional closeness; a desire to attain or enhance an emotional bond.
to use their sexuality (appearance-enhancement) in order to attract/capture a desirable mate who is “available” or to poach one from another woman.
to “mate-guard” – to keep their mate satisfied so he/she won’t defect.
to gain information about their mate value.
to “trade-up” – to obtain a better partner.
in order to maintain the relationship — willingly have “unwanted” sex to “keep the peace,” fulfill their “duty,” because they felt it was the “nice” thing to do or a kind of “nurturing obligation.”
because they are curious about:
- a person generally, and/or related to that person’s sexual reputation
- being sexual with a woman
- the effects of penis size
as a “relationship screening test.”
to improve their sexual skills.
to experience more variety.
to get things they want (a “fungible” asset, exchangeable for anything and everything):
- a job, raise, or promotion (from “casting couch” to academia)
- money/financial security
- drugs
- gifts
out of a sense of reciprocity in repaying, or balancing out, material or non-material debt.
to boost their self-esteem and self-confidence.
especially with a high-status partner: to gain friends, increase status, and influence social acceptance.
to “make up” for something missing in their early home life – attention and emotional connection.
to heal love wounds – to get over a breakup. “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”
because that is a sphere of life where they can wield control.
because men deceive them, drug them, verbally coerce them, or physically force them to.
to relieve headaches, pain associated with menstruation, and stress; aid sleep, ward of depression and anxiety, enhance mood, combat loneliness, and get exercise.

Conclusion

What motivates a woman to have sex is often multifaceted, containing various combinations of motivations, some of which may be in conflict with one another at any moment in time. The concept of “fungible asset” broadly applied is noteworthy. Sex for women (unlike for men) has great utility.