Why Women Are Bored in Monogamous Relationships

Why Women Are Bored in Monogamous Relationships

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.” ~ Mae West

In my last post, (Turn Off the Brakes! Making the Most of Responsive Desire), I shared the advice Emily Nagoski gives to couples to improve their sex life.  Nagoski and other sex educators describe the dominant mode of women’s sexuality as “responsive.”  Women need sufficient sexual stimuli and an appropriate context to move from a place of neutrality to being aroused and desirous of a sexual connection. Nagoski recommends that couples raise their heart rate together or go deeper emotionally to trigger desire instead of creating novelty through new sex toys and techniques.  That is good advice.  But make no mistake, women need more novelty than men in an ongoing sexual relationship.  Men have a lower threshold for sexual motivation and stimulation, and their orgasms are more predictable.  Women need more varied stimulation than men, and their orgasms are definitely not assured.

In fact, there is an emerging trend related to female sexuality in an ongoing relationship.  As the headline from an Atlantic article succinctly put it, women are “The Bored Sex.”

“Female sexual boredom could almost pass for the new beige.” ~Wednesday Martin (Atlantic)

Variety and Novelty – Sex Differences

Men are neurologically built to desire a variety of partners, more so than women.  Women are built to need and want more variety of stimulation (physical and emotional) from one man over time for sexual fulfillment.  In a monogamous pair bond, it is the woman, more often than the man, who will need more diverse stimuli and breaks from routine in order to be aroused and orgasmic.

Mating Science Background

Men want a variety of partners as dictated by the foundational predominance of a short-term sexual mating strategy. (See “Coolidge Effect” in Appendix.)  Women prefer a specific singular partner as dictated by their predominant long-term sexual strategy and need for parental investment.  Alfred Kinsey: “There seems to be no question but that the human male would be promiscuous in his choice of sexual partners throughout the whole of his life if there were no social restrictions.  The human female is much less interested in a variety of partners.”

Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire – Accelerator and Brake

Men (in aggregate) need less variety and novelty in an ongoing sexual relationship than women do because of their predominant “spontaneous” sexual response and a sex drive that accelerates with pursuit.

Women (in aggregate) need more novelty and variety in an ongoing relationship because of the fragility and complexity of their predominant “responsive” desire mechanism that often “brakes” out of caution.  (See Appendix for “Out-of-Sight-Out-of-Mind Responsive Desire” and “Supply and Demand Influences on Responsive Desire.”)

It’s Not the Sex She Wants

Manhattan psychiatrist, Andrew Gotzis, was treating a straight couple in their 40s; they had been together close to 20 years.  They reportedly had sex three times a week.  (Quite above the normal for a couple in a relationship of that duration.) The woman had orgasms but was still dissatisfied.   As Gotzis described the situation, “The problem is not that they are functionally unable to have sex or to have orgasms.  Or frequency.  It’s that the sex they’re having isn’t what she wants.” The woman wants to be wanted by her partner in that “can’t-get-enough-of-each-other-way that experts call “limerence” – the initial period of a relationship when it’s all new and hot.

Habituation to Stimulus

This woman may be an idealist, unrealistic, selfish, or entitled.  But her sexual struggles in a long-term relationship, orgasms, and frequency of sex notwithstanding, make her normal.  Although most people in a sexual partnership end up facing the conundrum biologists call “habituation to stimulus” over time, a growing body of research suggests that heterosexual women are likely to face this problem earlier in a relationship than men. Men seem to manage wanting what they already have, while women struggle with it.

Don’t Move In With Your Boyfriend

In a study of 11,500 British adults aged 16-74,  women were more likely to lose interest in sex after one year of cohabitation.  Newsweek (2017) reported this study and others with the cautionary title addressed to women:  “Moving in with Your Boyfriend Can Kill Your Sex Drive.”   “Women living with a partner were more likely to lack an interest in sex than those in other relationship categories.”

A 2012 study (Journal of Sex Marital Therapy) of 170 men and women aged 18-25 found that women’s desire, not men’s, was negatively affected by relationship duration after controlling for age, relationship satisfaction, and sexual satisfaction.

Female Desire Tanked in Germany and Finland

Two German longitudinal studies, published in 2002 and 2006, showed female desire dropped dramatically after 90 months while male desire held relatively steady.  Women who did not live with their partners seemed to avoid the “effects of overfamiliarity.”

And a seven-year Finnish study (2016) of more than 2,100 women by Annika Gunst found that women’s sexual desire varied depending upon relationship status.  Those in the same relationship reported less desire, arousal, and satisfaction.

Wanting Monogamy and Having Desire Are Different

Many, if not most women, want monogamy.   But as Wednesday Martin wrote for the Atlantic, “wanting monogamy isn’t the same as feeling desire in a long-term monogamous partnership.”

Women’s Lower Baseline Libido

There is evidence that women have a lower baseline libido as measured by the frequency of sexual thoughts, fantasies, masturbation, and desire for sexual activity.  Psychiatrist and sexual health practitioner Elisabeth Gordon reported that women disproportionately presented with a lower sexual desire than their male partners after a year or more and in the longer term.  (See “Sex Drive Defined” in Appendix.)

Just Not the Same Sex Over and Over

However, Gordon says women “regularly start relationships equally excited for sex.”  As Martin puts it, “women in long-term, committed heterosexual partnerships might think they’ve gone off sex – but it’s more that they’ve gone off the same sex with the same person over and over.

“When couples want to remain in a monogamous relationship, a key component of treatment is to help couples add novelty,” Gordon advised.  (Women are the primary consumers of sex-related technology, lubricants, and of course, lingerie.)

Long-term Relationships Are Rough On Female Desire

Author and sex researcher Marta Meana says, “long-term relationships are rough on desire, especially female desire.”  Meana and colleague Karen Sims conducted a qualitative study on 19 married women (Journal of Sexual Martial therapy) and found that most women were pleased with their partners – just not their sex lives.  Three interrelated reasons emerged to explain participants’ loss of libido.

Three Reasons for Female Libido Loss

While female sexuality generally prefers emotional connection and familiarity to thrive, Meana discovered that institutionalization of the relationship, overfamiliarity, and de-sexualization of roles in a long-term heterosexual partnership could mess with female passion.

1. Institutionalization

For many of the women studied by Meana and Sims, marital sex was a snooze.  They were simply bored with the routine of ever-available marital sex. As described by Kaye Smith in Married Women Talk About Why They Don’t Want Sex, “bed-breaking premarital sex can dwindle to Saturday morning missionary-only encounters hurriedly sandwiched between Junior’s soccer game and Fluffy’s deworming.”  It is too sanitized and socially sanctioned.  And obligation to have sex is a guaranteed buzzkill.  If you are expected to make your partner sexually happy, it is a turn-off.

2. Familiarity Breeds Contempt

The second issue that the women complained about was over-familiarity.  It was the romance of early love, the pre-relationship dating days with all its novelty, anticipation, and uncertainty that they longed for the most.  “Familiarity breeds contempt” is never more true than in the bedroom.  Another buzzkill is doing the same thing, the same way, every time.   One woman in the Meana study said:  “When you are married, you know exactly how your husband is going to touch you.  There is a comfort with each other, but it’s not as exciting . . . the desire is lost.”   Many women talked about how they could predict what their husbands would do next and in what order.

“You Just Gotta Stop”

As one exasperated 33-year old woman told her husband: “things like grabbing me and touching me would really get me excited (in the past).  But doing the same things now completely turn me off.   “You cannot just grab my breast like that anymore – it no longer turns me on – you just gotta stop.”

If you know what will happen next, your brain (and other body parts) say “why bother?” Desire is fueled by the neurotransmitter dopamine, which rises in response to novelty and anticipation.

3. De-sexualization of Roles and Maternal Sensory Overload

Most of the women spoke of being absolutely depleted by their to-do list.  And sex did not have priority on that list. (This is evidence of responsive desire).  Also, many felt there was an incompatibility between the role of mom and the role of “vixen.”  Interestingly, for mothers of small children, the constant tactile demands of caring for a child left them feeling “over-touched” – on sensory overload – and not in the mood for more skin contact.

Paradox and Complexity of Female Desire

Female sexual response is fragile and complex with opposing or paradoxical elements active, side-by-side, at any given moment. Female desire is enhanced by arousing ambivalence but in a manageable way.  Too much ambivalence, and you are left to feel too anxious; too little, and you are bored.

Women Want to Be Wanted More than Anything Else

Smith says women are socialized to romanticize sex.  Women want to be wanted – often more than anything else.  Women fantasize about being the object of a hot stud’s desire (ala Fifty Shades of Grey).  But, in being the object, women paradoxically assume power.  The rape fantasy is all about being desired; it is NOT about being defeated or abused.

What Can Be Done to Turn Women On?

Certainly, socializing women to be passive in the bedroom doesn’t work and leads to sexual disappointment and boredom.  There is still an education problem.  Women are not told about their anatomy; they masturbate less than men and often have sex based on what works for men.  (According to research, only 29% of women always have an orgasm during sexual intercourse, in comparison to 75% of men.)

Life-Long Hot Sex is Not Realistic

The idea that life-long love means nonstop hot sex is probably not realistic either.  (Nor does it comport with biological imperatives and hormonal shifts in long-term relationships, especially  relationships with children.)  Smith suggests, “if we could just lighten up about sex – see it as adult play perhaps – we would be better off.”

Mating in Captivity – the Polarity of Female Desire

Esther Perel (Mating In Captivity) brilliantly explains the polarities animating human sexual desire, especially for women.  “Desire is fueled by the unknown, and for that reason, it’s inherently anxiety-producing.  Eroticism resides in the ambiguous space between anxiety and fascination.  Without an element of uncertainty, there is no longing, no anticipation, no fission.”

Fundamental Needs Seeking Reconciliation

Two fundamental human needs seek reconciliation.  On the one hand, we need security, predictability, safety, and dependability.  We require reliability and permanence; all of these are anchoring, grounding experiences in our lives.  This anchoring is especially necessary for women as predicted by evolutionary science and a woman’s mating strategy designed to protect children.

But we have an equally strong need for adventure, novelty, mystery, and risk.  We are stimulated by a little “danger,” the unknown, the unexpected.  Surprise turns us on.  Taking a “journey” together (actual travel) is often good for our sex lives.

From Passionate to Intentional Sexuality

“Erotic couples know how to manage the transition from passionate sexuality to intentional sexuality,” says Perel.  “They understand that it not only takes work but also creativity – like when you want a beautiful meal rather than just a quick bite.” Emilly Nagoski describes “context appointments” and “windows of willingness.” (See Turn Off the Brakes! Making the Most of Responsive Desire).  She often tells women:  “You don’t have to be horny first.  You don’t have to crave sex before you start having sex.  You just have to be willing to try some intimate contact with pleasure as the only goal.”

Remain Curious, My Friend

Sexual boredom can only happen when you are no longer curious, says author Jack Morin (The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment).  So, here’s to continued curiosity about the enigma and beauty of female desire.  I will never get bored with that.

My Next Post

My next post will continue the theme of female sexual boredom and dissatisfaction by explaining the problems of 1) “sex-is-intercourse,” 2) “clitphobia,” 3) sexual “lockjaw,” 4) the orgasm gap, and 5) “male sex deficit.”  Stayed tuned for that!

 
References

Sims, K. & Meana, M.; “Why did passion wane? A qualitative study of married women’s attributions for declines in sexual desire.”  Journal of Sex Marital Therapy; 2010, 36 (4) 360-380.

Murray, S. & Milhausen, R.; “Sexual desire and relationship duration in young men and women.” Journal of Sex Marital Therapy. 2012; 38 (1) 28-40.

Appendix

The “Coolidge Effect”

The story is told that President Coolidge and the first lady were given separate tours of newly formed government farms.  Upon passing the chicken coops and noticing a rooster copulating with a hen, Mrs. Coolidge inquired about how often the rooster performed this duty.  “Dozens of times each day,” replied the guide.  Mrs. Coolidge asked the guide to “please mention this fact to the president.”  When the president passed by later and was informed of the sexual vigor of the rooster, he asked, “always with the same hen?”  “Oh no,” the guide replied, “a different one each time.”  “Please tell that to Mrs. Coolidge,” said the president.

And so the Coolidge Effect was named, referring to the tendency of males to be sexually re-aroused upon the presentation of novel females, giving them a further impulse to gain sexual access to multiple women.  The Coolidge Effect is a widespread mammalian trait that has been documented many times.  Male rats, rams, cattle, and sheep all show the effect.   Men across cultures show the Coolidge Effect.

Sex Drive Defined

Sex drive is commonly defined as the frequency of sexual thoughts, frequency of masturbation, interest in sexual activity with another person, frequency of intercourse in a specified period, desire for multiple sex partners, habits of pornography use, response to erotic images in everyday life, and frequency and nature of sexual fantasies. 

Sex is not really a drive, according to Emily Nagoski (Come As You Are, 2015), because it is not necessary for personal survival.  She calls it an “incentive motivation system.”  But calling sexual desire a motivation system and not a drive (which takes away the pejorative label of dysfunction for women) does not change the fact that men think about and have the urge to engage in sexual behavior (all components above) more than women, primarily because of greater levels of testosterone and the accompanying power of their predominant short-term mating strategy.

Out-of-Sight-Out-of-Mind Responsive Desire

Female “responsive” desire must be “woken up” by direct, in-coming stimulation.  Women have a greater capacity than men to experience out-of-sight-out-of-mind concerning their sexual desire, partly because of the differences in visual sexual triggers. 

Related to “out-of-mind,” women may not be dramatically bothered by their desire loss.  That “meta-emotion” (feeling about a feeling) might depend upon the degree of parental energy expended by the woman and the degree to which her safety and security needs are met. 

Supply and Demand Influences on Responsive Desire

Sex for most women is an abundant resource; it is not in short supply.  It is a need (within the confines of self-imposed selective preferences) that can almost always be met.  Therefore, there is no need to attend to it.  Out-of-sight, out-of-mind makes sense.  If the refrigerator is full, there is no need to fantasize or strategize about how to get food.  If there is a man “pulling up” (like a bus) every five minutes, there is no need to worry about missing or choosing not to take the last bus. 

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Turn Off the Brakes!  Making the Most of Female Responsive Desire

Turn Off the Brakes! Making the Most of Female Responsive Desire

Sexuality, Women’s Issues, Relationship Issues, and Tips for Couples

In her landmark book, Come As You Are,  Emily Nagoski describes the central sexual response mechanism in the brains of men and women.   There is a sexual excitation system (SES) or “accelerator” that is dominant in most males. The sexual excitation system often activates male sexual desire.  It has a sense of urgency, eagerness, and passion – men pursue under its influence. Nagoski calls this “spontaneous” desire.

Foot Brake and Hand Brake

Females most often operate out of their sexual inhibition system.  This system notices all potential threats in the environment and sends a signal from the brain to the genitals to “turn-off” for fear of consequences.  Nagoski calls this the “foot brake.”  But there is also a “hand brake” activated by the fear of performance or a combination of mental chatter, stressors, and self-consciousness.  When the female sexual inhibition system is relatively quiet, women most often function from a state of responsive desire. 

Responsive Desire Moves from Place of Neutrality

Responsive desire occurs when one is willing to engage in sex, although not initially feeling desire or sexual arousal.  With sufficient sexual stimuli and an appropriate context, responsive desire allows a woman to move from a place of neutrality to being aroused and desirous of a sexual connection. 

Responsive Desire Emerges from Pleasure

Some women may be taught (or just believe) that desire is supposed to “arrive” spontaneously, as it often does for men.   Desire can arise in anticipation of pleasure, but Nagoski says responsive sexual desire emerges in response to pleasure.  The key to making the most of responsive desire is to maximize pleasure.

Ten Ways to Maximize Responsive Desire

(Adapted from 10 Tips for Making the Most of Responsive Desire by Emily Nagoski)

1. Put pleasure at the center of your sexual well-being.

It is not important how much you “crave” sex, how often you have sex, or how many orgasms you have.  For Nagoski, the only meaningful question is:

“How much do you like the sex you are having?”

“Because responsive desire emerges in response to pleasure, it functions best when you put pleasure at the center of your definition of sexual well-being,” says Nagoski.  Pleasure is the measure of your sexual satisfaction. 

Sensations Depend Upon the Context

Whether or not a sensation feels good depends upon the context.  For instance, tickling:  if you are in a playful and flirting state of mind, tickling from a specific someone might feel good and be fun – and lead to more things that feel good.  But if that person tries to tickle you when you are angry at them, it will not feel good at all.

A Key Take-away
“Know which contexts allow your brain to interpret sensations as erotic.”

The best context typically has low stress, high affection, high trust, and explicit eroticism.

2. Evaluate your contexts.

Nagoski identifies five categories of context to assess both your best and your most lack-luster sexual experiences.

In her worksheets, she asks the reader to write down as many details as can be remembered about both experiences and identify the specific aspects of each context.  What made the experience fantastic, or what caused the experience to suck?  What made it good or bad in each of the five categories of context?

Five Categories of Context

1. Mental and Physical Well-being: physical health, body image, mood, anxiety, distractibility, and worry about sexual functioning.

2. Partner characteristics: physical appearance, physical health, smell, mental state of your partner (or the attributes of yourself at that moment if you are “your own partner.”)

3. Relationship characteristics: trust, power dynamic, emotional connection, feeling desired, and frequency of sex.

4. Setting: private/public; at home, work, or vacation; distance sex (phone chat); seeing your partner do something positive like interacting with family or doing work.

5. Other life circumstances: work-related stress, family-related stress, a holiday, anniversary, or “occasion;” self-guided fantasy, partner-guided fantasy (“talking dirty”), body parts that were touched or not; oral sex on you/on partner; intercourse, etc.

3. Assess your brakes and accelerator.

As described earlier, the sexual response mechanism in your brain has two parts: a sexual accelerator which notices all the sexually relevant stimulation, and sexual brakes, which detects potential threats or other reasons not to be turned on.  For example, the accelerator notices sexy sounds, sights (very potent for men), and sensations in the “right” context. 

Too Much Stimulation of the Brakes

The brakes notice that there is a risk of kids interrupting or worries about how your body looks.  These brakes-hitting contextual factors are extremely important!  When a woman struggles with sexual pleasure, it is more often because there is too much stimulation to the brakes!

Identify What Hits Your Brakes

Identifying the things that hit your brakes is an essential step in creating a context that allows you to experience pleasure – that lets desire emerge in response to that pleasure.

Review your positive and negative contexts and notice what aspects of the context seem likely to activate your accelerator.  But most importantly, identify what aspects of the context seem likely to hit your brakes.

4. Make context appointments.

Make a concrete, specific plan to create a positive context for yourself and your partner.  You are not setting an appointment to have sex; you are setting an appointment to spend some time together in that context. Decide what the context should be and whose responsibility it is to create various aspects of it.

No Secret Expectations

Set a time and date.  Agree on what you will do.  Neither partner must bring a secret expectation that these are actually “sex appointments” disguised as “connection appointments.”  For responsive desire people, the fastest way to shut down pleasure and desire is to create a feeling of expectation or obligation.

5. Identify and engage in “windows of willingness.”

Related to context appointments, identify times when you are open to a certain level of affection like kissing, hugging, sitting side-by-side, or holding hands. These are your “windows of willingness” – times when you might perceive the world as safe, trustworthy, and affectionate. 

Gradations of Sensual – Sexual Behaviors

Nagoski gives a list of things you might be willing to do inside the window – from hugging to kissing or touching from the waist up to various forms of genital touching.  Each partner may have a separate list of what they are willing to do or receive during this window.  There must be a congruence and a match of preferences. 

Consent Can Be Sexy

A clarity of verbal consent characterizes the “willingness” window.  The willingness-consent conversation can be erotic by itself and help create a good context.  Asking permission and granting permission can be pretty sexy!

Learn How You Respond to Different Contexts

Decide how frequent (and how long) the window will be: three times a day, once a day, three times a week, once a week, once a month, etc.  Nagoski suggests that a couple experiment with windows of willingness for a week, a month, or however long it takes for them to learn how their bodies respond to different contexts. Notice what works and what doesn’t work.  Adjust your windows as you go, looking for more and more pleasurable contexts.

6. Make out like teenagers!

Relationship researcher John Gottman recommends that couples share a daily six-second kiss.  Six seconds. This kiss is dramatically different from the typical “bye, see you tonight” kiss. 

Six Seconds Is Long Enough to Have Impact

Six seconds is too long, says Nagoski, to kiss someone you resent or dislike. It is far too long to kiss someone with whom you feel unsafe.  “Kissing for sex seconds requires that you stop and notice that you like this person, that you trust them, and that you feel affection for them.”  (If you do not like or trust your partner, then responsive desire is not the difficulty you are dealing with in your sex life.)

Oh, To Be Teenagers Again

What if you shared a six-minute kiss every day?  What if you spent six minutes with your hands and mouth on your partner, with the mutual agreement that kissing is all that you would do?  This physical connection is not a preamble to sex.  It is just a few minutes of reminding yourself that affectionate touch feels good.  Remember, pleasure is the measure of sexual well-being.  Perhaps early in your sexual development, you made out for minutes or even hours before having any genital contact.  As teenagers or young adults, we noticed the pleasure of that kind of touching.

7. Make some things off-limits.

Going along with “windows of willingness,” couples often benefit from taking away the pressure to “perform” by making certain things against the “rules.”  For example, if you worry that intercourse will be expected if you begin kissing and hugging, make a rule that intercourse is entirely off the table for a week, a month, three months, or just for that day.

It is worth noting that making things off-limits can heighten anticipation and eventual pleasure.  That kind of “teasing” can be very juicy sex-play!

8. Raise your heart rate together or go “deeper” emotionally.

Most of the sex advice in pop culture is about novelty – try new positions, new techniques, new toys, new porn, or even new partners.  There is no disputing the value of novelty for triggering desire, especially for women.*  (Men are especially wired for the novelty of new partners.) When the brain is exposed to a stimulus for the first time, it will react more intensely than it does to stimulation that it is accustomed to. 

Novel Strategies

But novelty doesn’t have to involve new toys and techniques.  Here are two strategies that can generate novelty.  (Granted, these may be new behaviors.)

Strategy 1:  Do anything that raises your heart rate.  Exercise together. Watch an exciting or scary movie.  Go to big concerts or political rallies.  Do anything that gets your heart pounding.  Take long, fast hikes.  Ride a rollercoaster together.  Your brain will notice your level of excitement, see the person you are with and decide, “Hey, I guess this person is really exciting!”  (These methods increase the accelerator more than decrease the brakes.)

Strategy 2: Go deeper emotionally into your relationship.  Dare to be vulnerable.  Keep the lights on.  Keep your eyes open.  Disclose more.  This kind of emotional “novelty” may enhance your pleasure and desire.

9. Face the “The Wall” together.

When couples are stuck around sexual desire, they may experience what Nagoski calls “The Wall.”  This is the feeling you get when you have considered arranging appointments or “windows of willingness,” and something inside you just withdraws.  You do not feel curiosity,  hope, or even neutrality. Instead, you feel dread or resentment. 

Turn Toward “The Wall” with Curiosity

Nagoski recommends a kind of “gestalt conversation” with “The Wall.”  Turn toward it (as John Gottman might say), lean into it, and ask what it is trying to protect you from.  What does it need?  To face the wall requires an attitude of patience and curiosity. Nagoski suggests that The Wall will gradually tell you what it needs.  Don’t try to bash it down before you are ready.  Stick with levels of intimacy that feel safe or just a tiny bit too risky.  Be gentle and kind with each other.

10. Go to a “party” of your choosing.

Sex therapist Christine Hyde suggests (as an analogy) that you think about a party invitation you receive from a good friend.  You might think of ten reasons not to go (what a hassle!), but you go anyway because a good friend asked.  You get to the party and then, (surprise, surprise) you have a good time!

Create a Party that You Will Enjoy

Don’t ask yourself, “how can I make myself go to more parties?”  The question to ask is:  “What kind of parties do I enjoy attending?”  There is no right or wrong kind of party.   There is just the kind of social experience that is right for you.  So,

 What kind of sex is worth having for you?

What kind of sex is worth setting aside all of your duties and distractions?  When you answer that question, your foot and hand will come off the brakes. Responsive desire will be free to roam “about the cabin.”

 

Conclusion and Summary
  • Responsive desire emerges in response to pleasure. Spontaneous desire emerges in anticipation of pleasure.  Both are normal.
  • Put pleasure at the center of your definition of sexual well-being, and allow desire to emerge from pleasure.
  • Sexual pleasure, especially for women, is context-dependent. Sensations only feel pleasurable and give rise to desire in a sex-positive context; for most people, that means low stress, high affection, high trust, and explicitly erotic.
  • Most difficulties with pleasure and desire are related to too much “braking” rather than not enough “accelerating.”
  • Couples who maintain strong sexual connections over multiple decades share two traits: 1) they have a strong friendship at the foundation of their relationship, and 2) they prioritize sex. They decide that it is essential for the relationship to spend some alone time together, skin to skin, connected in an intimate, personal, and playful way.
Related Posts

Spontaneous and Response Desire — the Underbelly of Heterosexual Mating 

Is Your Sexual Foot On the Accelerator or Brake?

Note

*My next post (April 13) will explain why women are sexually “bored.”

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Humor and Sexual Selection

Humor and Sexual Selection

“Women tend to prefer men who make them laugh, whereas men prefer women who laugh at their jokes.” *

In my last post about Tiger Woods, I examined the role of storytelling, art, music, dance, athleticism, and humor in sexual selection. Women select for those traits in men. These expressions of creativity signal genetic fitness because they are relatively rare in the human population.

Today’s post will put the microscope on humor. I will examine the influential role that humor plays in sexual selection – why humor production is a mating trait preference. In my next post (March 2), I will address how humor affects ongoing relationships; humor for established couples is different from the role of humor in selecting a mate (courtship). In other future posts, we will laugh together at displays of humor about the dynamics of sex, dating and relationships. For now, see my earlier post, Sex Can Be Funny: https://www.matingstraighttalk.com/sex-can-be-funny-50-humorous-quotes-volume-1/.

Here are a few random quips to warm you up before I go all nerdy:
  • “Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” ~ Oscar Wilde
  • “It’s been so long since I have had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.” ~ Joan Rivers
  • “I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.” ~ Woody Allen
  • “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he is not very bright.” ~ Lucille Ball
  • “You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.” ~ Dolly Parton
  • “Good girls go to heaven, and bad girls go everywhere.” ~ Helen Gurley Brown
Laughter is Universal in Our Species

Laughter is universal within our species; it manifests in distinct facial and vocal expressions. Laughter emerges spontaneously during childhood and is intensely pleasurable. It shows all the hallmarks of a psychological adaptation – a fundamental building block of our evolutionary past.

Humor is Valued for Mates Worldwide

Humor is an integral part of mate choice. A robust finding in evolutionary psychology research is the value that people worldwide place on a good sense of humor. Females demonstrate more appreciation of humor than men; these differences begin in early childhood and appear to reflect differences in sexual choosiness.

Sexual Selection Is No Joke

Evolutionary psychologist, Geoffrey Miller (The Mating Mind), argues that the “humor divide” is best understood as a result of sexual selection. Women are the choosier sex, and because they prefer funny men—a signal of cognitive fitness—men learned to deploy humor and wit to attract a mate and to outsmart other men.

Humor and creativity researcher Scott Barry Kaufman of New York University believes sexual selection explains why the use of humor is important in the initial stages of a relationship: “When you have little else to go on, a witty person who uses humor in a clever, original way is signaling quite a lot of information, including intelligence, creativity, and even aspects of their personality such as playfulness and openness to experience.”

Comedy Reveals Capacity for Creativity

A capacity for comedy reveals a capacity for creativity. It plays upon our intense love of novelty (neophilia), says Miller. “Creativity is a reliable indicator of intelligence, energy, youth, and proteanism (ability to change shape). Humor is attractive, and that is why it evolved.”

Class Clowns Are Male

Have you ever wondered why class clowns are virtually always male? Documented differences in the ways the sexes use and respond to humor explain this and other humor-related phenomena. Humor plays a role in relationships from the initial flirtation through long-term commitment. Knowing the differences in how men and women process and use humor serves one well in all situations involving the opposite sex.

Male Courtship Humor

Males produce humor in courtship much more than females, according to researcher Jennifer Hay and are more likely than females to produce verbal humor in informal social settings, according to Helga Kotthoff. This research suggests that females, on average, are more discriminating than men when it comes to humor and that men, on average, are more motivated to be funny.

Men produce humor to be chosen by women. As explained in my prior post, men produce humor (and everything else) “to get laid.”

Humor Attracts Women

Studies from the David Buss’ Evolutionary Psychology Lab revealed that displaying a good sense of humor is the single more effective tactic men can use to attract women. Women are attracted to men who produce humor because (at the most surface level) laughing elicits a positive mood. Humor is very agreeable and is linked to the traits of generosity and willingness.

Humor for Potential Genetic Benefit

Evolutionary psychologists have also theorized that a sense of humor is a sign of intellect and healthy genes. Women are the more selective sex due to the burdens associated with pregnancy and thus are attracted to funny men because of the genetic benefit that could be bestowed upon potential offspring.

Woman Want a Humor Generator

According to Eric Bressler, a psychologist at McMaster University in Canada, men and women don’t mean the same thing when they say they value humor in a long-term partner. His research manipulated how funny both men and women appeared on paper. Subjects were asked to choose a potential date of the opposite sex. Bressler found that women want a man who is a humor “generator,” while men seek a humor “appreciator.”

Female Laughter is a Signal of Sexual Interest

The allure of male humor is so strong that female laughter may have evolved as a signal of sexual interest—picture a woman’s girlish giggles as she flirts with a man at a bar. Indeed, a German study found that when male and female strangers engaged in natural conversation, the degree to which a woman laughed while talking to a man was indicative of her interest in dating him. How much the woman laughed also predicted the man’s desire to date her.

Someone Who Makes Me Laugh — Someone Who Laughs at My Jokes

In Bressler’s study, men expressed no preference for funny women, but women tended to choose more humorous men as partners. Rod Martin of the University of Western Ontario elaborated on this discrepancy between the preferences of the sexes when he said, “Although both sexes say they want a sense of humor, in our research, women interpreted this as ‘someone who makes me laugh,’ and men wanted ‘someone who laughs at my jokes.’”

Bressler says his study indicates that humor likely developed through sexual selection because it is most desirable in romantic relationships. Women don’t seem to care about a friend’s sense of humor, whether male or female. He and fellow researcher Sigal Balshine found that although women rated funny men as better potential partners and more friendly, fun, and popular, they didn’t have the same preference for humorous women as potential friends.

Women Seek Funny Men in Personal Ads

Humor is a human trait important enough to have its abbreviation (GSOH) in personal ads. Psychology professor Robert Provine at the University of Maryland analyzed more than 3,000 singles ads and found that women were more likely to tout their humor appreciation ability whereas men were more likely to describe their ample humor-production ability. Women who posted personal ads sought a partner who could make them laugh twice as frequently as they offered to be the source of humor. However, men offered to be the provider of humor a third more than they sought it in a partner.

Fertile Women Choose Creative Men for Short-term Liaisons

An interesting study examined the desirability of funny men to ovulating women. Conducted in 2006 by Geoffrey Miller and Martie Haselton, female subjects read descriptions of poor but creative men and wealthy but uncreative men and rated each man’s desirability. Miller and Haselton found that women chose poor creative men twice as often as wealthy uncreative men for short-term relationships during times of high fertility. In low fertility days of their menstrual cycle, women shifted their preferences to males who offered resources.

This supports the idea that displays of creativity, at least in the short-term, act as good gene indicators.

Women Laugh More and Both Sexes Laugh More at Men

In another study, Provine observed social interaction in various public urban spaces while studying spontaneous conversation, ultimately recording 1,200 “laugh episodes” (comments that elicit a laugh from the speaker or listener). In examining the episodes, he found that women laugh significantly more than men, and that both men and women laugh more at men than at women.

Men Find Women More Attractive When They Laugh

In addition to the attraction women feel toward funny men, men find women more attractive when they laugh. Laughter signifies enjoyment and interest, or connection and understanding — all desirable qualities in a potential mate.

But Men and Women Are Equally Funny

Although men consistently garner the most laughs, research has repeatedly shown men and women to be equally funny when it comes to humor production. Researchers conclude that men are not funnier than women but are just more motivated to showcase their humor.

Ph.D. student Kim Edwards of the University of Western Ontario arrived at this conclusion following a 2009 study in which men and women were rated on the funniness of captions they created (produced) for single-frame cartoons. Edwards found that men and women created a similar number of highly rated captions. (Edwards also concluded that the greater laughter garnered by men was more a consequence of social factors than a sign of a superior capacity for humor.)

Women and Men Also Appreciate Humor Equally

Women and men also score very similarly on tests of humor appreciation. Psychiatrist Alan Reiss of Stanford University scanned male and female subjects’ brains while they rated 30 cartoons for humor. Women and men rated the cartoons in the same order of funniness, indicating equal amounts of humor appreciation.

Men and Women Are Funny In Different Ways

Men and women are both funny, but in different ways that the opposite sex sometimes finds unfunny. While women tend to share humorous stories and take a narrative approach, men more commonly use one-liners and engage in slapstick. While women tend to use puns, self-deprecating humor, and wordplay, men are more inclined to use physical and active humor.

Men Tease to “One-up” Other Men

Psychologist Jennifer Hay taped group conversations and found that men were more likely to tease and try to “one-up” other men in their use of humor. But according to research conducted by Martin Lampert of Holy Names University and Susan Ervin-Tripp of the University of California, men teased significantly less when in the presence of women.

Women Tease Men More in Mixed Company

After analyzing 59 conversations, Lampert and Ervin-Tripp found that in mixed company, women actually teased more than men and directed their teasing toward the men. Women became less self-deprecating while the men laughed at themselves more — a kind of reversal of the typical sex-specific humor tendencies. Lambert and Ervin-Tripp concluded that men reduce teasing with women present out of a concern that it might repel them, while women become more assertive around men to counter feelings of vulnerability and gain equal footing with them.

Self-deprecation vs. Ridicule of Others

Anthropologist Gil Greengross studies the role humor plays in flirtation and seduction. Of all the humor styles, self-deprecating humor was perceived as the most attractive. Self-deprecating humor reduces tension and indicates a nonthreatening stance that puts others at ease. The opposite of self-deprecating humor, and therefore the most unattractive kind, is sarcasm or ridicule directed at others. Humor that comes at the expense of someone else’s feelings divides rather than bonds. Although it might elicit a laugh or two, the research indicates those laughs will not be there for long.

Female Laughter Determines Level of Attraction

Psychologists Karl Grammer and Irenaus Eibl-Eibesfeldt of the Ludwig Boltzmann Institute for Urban Ethology demonstrated that laughter can be a very accurate source for determining the level of attraction between people. After studying mixed group conversations and the subjects’ level-of-attractiveness ratings, the researchers found that the amount of female laughter accurately predicted the level of attraction between both partners. A woman who laughs at a man’s jokes indicates an interest in him, and this indication of interest can spur even further interest on the part of the man.

Synchronized Laughter Means Mutual Attraction

According to Grammer and Eibl-Eibesfeldt, the amount of synchronized laughter during spontaneous male/female conversations predicted initial mutual attraction, but the amount of laughter the woman produced was most predictive of mutual interest in actually dating. Woman’s laughter is a useful index of humor appreciation and has an impact in a mating context.

Are We Sure That Humor and Intelligence Are Correlated?

Humor and intelligence appear to be significantly correlated according to long-standing theories and studies within evolutionary psychology. Humor is seen as an honest signal of intelligence, and humor ability is thought to have evolved due to sexual selection through mate choice.

However, Jeffrey Hall, a professor in Communication Studies at the University of Kansas, concluded from his studies that “the evidence isn’t there that humor used by men is perceived as intelligent by women, nor is the link between intelligence and humor strong.” Hall asserted that women like humor because of “good timing, self-deprecation, playfulness, flintiness, and being inviting.” None of that is intellectual, he says. Perhaps that last point is debatable.

Humor is a Signal of Mental Health

Building on Hall’s insights, humor may also signal a person’s openness to experience, extraversion, and sociability (as explained by Scott Kaufman above). Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller (Mate) say the ability to be funny or having a sense of humor is a signal of mental health, which is quite important to women. “Making fun of yourself shows a resilient self-confidence that narcissists, psychopaths, and depressed people don’t have,” they explain.

Humor Is Most Effective If Already Attracted

Humor is most effective if the potential mate is already attracted to the person attempting the humor. Norman Li found that both males and females reported initiating humor and laughter at someone’s jokes when they were already attracted to the individual but not when they were not already attracted to the person.

Humorous Halo Effect

Indeed, judgments of humor are affected by a person’s initial attraction and interest. Researchers have found that initial attraction to a person led to greater perceptions of interpersonal warmth from that person’s humor. This perception of warmheartedness could be a “halo effect” – when one trait is used to make an overall judgment of that person or thing. Evolutionary psychologist David Buss shared an amusing aside during a talk about the trait of physical attractiveness and humor: “It is very interesting that women find Brad Pitt ‘just hilarious’.”

Humor and Status

Li says that humor is a powerful tool in mating intelligence for the relatively unattractive or men who are lower in social status. On the flip side, if you are high in social status, then self-deprecating humor may be your most valuable tool in the mating marketplace.

Humor Production Predicts Number of Sexual Partners

There is evidence that humor is related to mating outcomes. In a sample of 400 university students, Gil Greengross and Geoffrey Miller found that general intelligence and verbal intelligence both predicted humor-production ability, which in turn predicted the number of lifetime sexual partners.

Humor and Social Proofing

In a study by Nicolas Gueguen, men who produced humor were three times more likely to get a phone number from women than men who just observed the humor. In addition to the attraction to humor production, researchers believed this demonstrated the power of social proofing — the status of the humor-producer compared to the male confederate receivers of the humor.

Men Use Humor to Derogate Sexual Rivals

“Men taunt other men with clever nicknames and insults,” says John Morreal, a professor of religion at William and Mary College in Williamsburg, Virginia, who has studied humor for 25 years. “That isn’t something that women do. They don’t tend to play practical jokes or engage in humor that humiliates or puts somebody down.”

The primary difference is that males tend to use humor to compete with other men, while women tend to use humor to bond with others. Studies show that men more often use humor to jockey for position with other males when they are in the company of women.

Aggressive Humor by Women is a Threat

A woman who deploys a typically male sense of humor—one that’s aggressive or competitive—is a turnoff to men, says Don Nilsen, a linguistics professor at Arizona State University in Tempe and an expert on humor. Many men feel threatened, perceiving a funny woman as a rival or worrying that they’ll become a target of her sharp tongue. “I think every man in the world loves the humor, even the sexual put-down humor, of Judy Tenuta or Joan Rivers,” he says. “But very few men want to marry them.”

Funny Men Give More Orgasms

Orgasm is a female mate selection preference (psychological adaptation), and humor adds to the likelihood of female orgasm.

A study reported in Evolutionary Psychology looked at whether women whose partners have a great sense of humor also have more orgasms. (Previous studies have demonstrated how women with partners who have more symmetrical faces, are more attractive, richer, or who are more muscular experience more orgasms.)

Researchers found that a sense of humor was a good predictor of sexual pleasure. Women initiated more sex with men who have a great sense of humor and had more sex with them in general. Women with partners who had a great sense of humor enjoyed more orgasms and stronger ones as well.

Conclusion

Humor production by men is an effective courtship strategy, and women have a preference for humorous men in their mate selection. Humor appears to be a domain of behavior that evolved to demonstrate traits of male genetic fitness and increase sexual access. Funny how that works.

Note

*Bressler, E. R., Martin, R.A., & Balshine, W. (2006).  ‘Production and appreciation of humor as sexually selected traits.”  Evolution and Human Behavior, 27, 121-130.

References

Bressler, E. R., Martin, R.A., & Balshine, W. (2006).  “Production and appreciation of humor as sexually selected traits.”  Evolution and Human Behavior, 27, 121-130.

Gallup et al. “Do Orgasms Give Women Feedback About Mate Choice?” Evolutionary Psychology, December, 2014.

Geher, G. & Kaufman, S.K. (2013).  Mating Intelligence Unleashed.

Grammer, K., Eibl-Eibesfeldt, I. (1990). The Ritualisation of Laughter.

Gueguen, N. (2010). “Men’s sense of humor and women’s responses to courtship solicitations: An experimental field study.”  Psychological Reports, 107, 145-156.

 Hay, J. (2000). “Functions of humor in the conversations of men and women.”  Journal of Pragmatics, 32, 709-742.

Kaufman, S.B., Kozbelt, A., Bromley, M.L., & Miller, G.F. (2008).  “The role creativity and humor in human mate selection.”  In G. Geher & G. Miller (Eds.) Mating intelligence: sex, relationships, and the mind’s reproductive system.

Kotthoff, H. (2000). “Gender and joking: On the complexities of women’s image politics in humorous narratives.”  Journal of Pragmatics, 32, 55-80.

 Li, N. et al. (2009). “An evolutionary perspective on humor: Sexual selection or interest indication?”  Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35, 923-936.

Max, T., & Miller, G., (2015). Mate: Become the Man Women Want.

Miller, G.  (2001). The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature.

Provine, R.R. (2000). Laughter: A Scientific Investigation.

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“Men Do Everything To Get Laid” — Tiger Woods and Sexual Selection

“Men Do Everything To Get Laid” — Tiger Woods and Sexual Selection

Male status aspirations and power displays are a result of their adaptive success in attracting women.

I recently watched the HBO documentary on Tiger Woods. I found it captivating. The return and redemption of Tiger Woods is a modern-day hero’s journey with unique ingredients: freakish, savant-like talent, a psychologically absent father, personal injury, drug addiction, estrangement from childhood, compartmentalization of feelings, a repressed inner world, public idolatry, public humiliation, and endless sexual temptation. (Concerning sexual dalliances, Woods was more in search of a “new self” than a new partner, but I will save that discussion for a post on infidelity from the view of author and psychotherapist, Esther Perel.)

Winning Takes Care of Everything – Fallen Hero Returns

As a hero, Tiger Woods fell hard. But he did return. Woods had five more victories in 2013, regained his number one ranking in the world, and spawned a controversial “Winning Takes Care of Everything,” Nike ad. Then, Woods suffered a back injury in 2014 and his game collapsed. But the “phoenix” rose again. Woods came back to win the Masters in 2019. He achieved some healing with his former wife, Elin, and demonstrated a rededication to his kids. In the language of the hero’s journey, that is a lot of positive “elixir.” Now in 2021, he faces the challenge of recovery from a fifth back surgery. The journey continues.

Tiger Woods – Infidelity and Sexual Selection

There are many psychological dimensions in the Tiger Woods life story. But let’s take a look again at his infidelities through the lens of evolutionary psychology (EP), mate selection, and what was being said in 2009.

Evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa wrote a series for Psychology Today in 2008 entitled “Men do everything they do in order to get laid.” A follow-up piece in 2009 was about the infidelities of Tiger Woods. Kanazawa asked, “why are we surprised?” Kanazawa was bold and brash in his statements about human mate selection using Tiger Woods as an example.

Kanazawa asserted that all male behavior is consciously or unconsciously a response to female choice in mate selection. (This is not that controversial in the EP literature.) Men do everything they do with the ultimate goal of getting sexual access to women. The word “ultimate” is essential to Kanazawa’s meaning; I will explain below.

Men Compete and Achieve for Sex

Kanazawa said men compete and achieve to have sex with women and that this behavior is mostly unconscious. Men don’t necessarily know that they do everything they do in order to get laid. They consciously think that they want to attain the highest political office in the state or the country; they want to become a successful businessman and make more money than anyone else; they want to practice and play hard so that they can become the best in their sport; they want to make America laugh so that they become the most successful entertainer. Men want to do these things because they are designed by evolution to compete and achieve, and when they do, women seek them out as sexual partners.

Successful Men Have Affairs

Highly successful men have sexual affairs, not because they want to but because women choose them. (If what men want mattered, all men would have a maximum number of affairs, says Kanazawa). Sex and mating among humans and other mammals is an entirely female choice, not a male choice; it happens whenever and with whomever women want, not whenever and with whomever men want. What men want doesn’t matter because it’s a constant. What matters is what women want. (Evolutionary psychologists, like Kanazawa, are very cognizant of rape and sexual coercion as exceptions to this assertion.)

It’s Not Like They Don’t Want Their Man to Cheat

Here’s where Kanazawa showed his stripes of political incorrectness. He said, “Elin Nordegren* and other ‘wronged wives’ cannot really complain about their husbands’ affairs. It’s not like women want their husbands to cheat on them, but then, it’s not like they don’t want them to cheat on them either.” He goes on, “they have chosen to marry these men precisely because they are the type of men who would cheat on their wives. If they were the kind of men who wouldn’t (and, more importantly, couldn’t), then they would not have been attractive enough for the wives to marry.”

Bill Clinton became the President of the United States, unconsciously, indirectly, and ultimately, so that he could get laid. David Letterman became America’s favorite entertainer, unconsciously, indirectly, and ultimately, so that he could get laid. Tiger Woods became the most successful golfer in history, unconsciously, indirectly, and ultimately, so that he could get laid. It would be a tremendous evolutionary puzzle if these men, after spending their entire lives attaining the status and resources they attained, then didn’t have affairs. And their wives married them because they were the kind of men who could cheat on them.

Ultimate vs. Proximate Causes

Now, to understand that last point I need to remind you (from my page on EP) that evolutionary psychologists examine proximate and ultimate causes of behavior. Proximate causes of behavior often include stimuli in the immediate environment of the organism or physiological mechanisms inside the organism. Ultimate causes of behavior evoke our ancestral past and address behavior or psychological processes that were adaptive for survival-based natural selection or reproduction-based sexual selection. Ultimate causes of a behavior pertain to our evolutionary (phylogenetic) history, addressing these questions:

How did this behavior come to be? How was it adaptive? How did it confer reproductive benefits to individuals with this behavior?

EP seeks to understand both proximate and ultimate causes of species-typical psychological processes in light of basic evolutionary theory. Kanawaza’s argument is about the unconscious, ultimate causes of Tiger Woods’ idolatry from women, Elin’s choice to mate with him, and his pattern of infidelities.

Male Power is not an End in Itself

Male power is rarely (perhaps never) an end in itself. Male power is always a means to sexual access at the foundational level of evolutionary adaptation. Sex is always the ultimate end. “Trophy” wives or girlfriends are sought because of sexual attraction to them first and foremost, and they serve as status displays for sexual access to the next woman (“mate copying effect”). Male status aspiration and power displays are a result of their adaptive success in attracting women. This power can be abused. But here is the complexity: women also desire this power. It is needed for sexual attraction.

Hints of Dark Triad Attraction

As I have reported elsewhere on this site, men who have the dark triad traits of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy have earlier sexual experiences and more sexual partners than men of average or typical character. (This is a successful short-term sexual strategy for the “dark triad” man and a failed long-term sexual strategy for his female partner.) Tiger Woods does not fit the dark triad profile exactly, but there are some elements of agreement. On the golf course, at least, Tiger had “dark triad” confidence and exceptional one-pointed focus. More “proximately,” Tiger is rich, talented in a unique way, and very famous. He has resources and status at the highest level. The temptation with interested women was ubiquitous and on-going even before he discovered Las Vegas with Michael Jorden and Charles Barkley.

Creative Talent, Intellectual Genius, and Athletic Prowess

Male competition for mates and female choice is the “first cause” of most male behavior and ultimately the first cause of all human affairs. Nearly all male behavior can be linked to female choice in mate selection. Competition between men for sexual access to women undergirds male striving for power, status, and expressions of creativity, genius, and athletic prowess.

 Evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller (The Mating Mind) argues that sexual selection may have played a more significant role than natural selection in shaping our species’ talents for storytelling, art, music, dance, humor, and leadership. The idea that music may have been shaped by sexual selection can be traced back to Darwin. There is plenty of sexual hysteria relating to rock stars, writers, artists — and athletes. Researchers Daniel Nettle and Helen Clegg found that professional male artists and poets had about twice as many sexual partners as other people. The effect was not true for female artists.

 Male Crime and Risk-taking

Young men engage in more criminal activity and risk-taking than older men. (See note below on “young male syndrome.”**) Tiger Woods’ escapades in Las Vegas and affair with Mindy Lawton in a church parking lot were hallmarks of risk-taking. And his car crash was a young male cliché.

 Male Creativity Peaks in Early Adulthood

Young men tend to produce more than older men and express more creative genius. This is a statistical correlation, not an absolute. The relationship to age and productivity (age-curve) among male jazz musicians, male painters, male writers, and male scientists is called the age-genius curve. Being a creative genius is part of what men do to get laid.

Benefits of Being a “Tiger”

There are no reproductive benefits from competition before puberty because prepubescent males cannot translate their competitive edge into reproductive success. With puberty, however, the benefits of competition rapidly increase. Once men are reproductively capable, every act of competition (be it through strength, skill, athletic prowess, violence, theft, or creative genius) can augment their reproductive success.

Marriage and First Child Depresses Productivity

Male creative productivity peaks in early adulthood and then declines, especially with marriage and the first child. Marriage depresses both crime and genius production. The age-crime curve and the age-genius curve can be explained as the mathematical difference between the benefits and costs of competition. Young men rapidly become more violent, more criminal, and more creative in late adolescence and early adulthood as the benefits of competition rise. Then, their productivity just as rapidly declines in late adulthood as the costs of competition rise and cancel its benefits. As an example, Orson Welles was a mere 26 years old when he wrote, produced, directed, and starred in perhaps one of the greatest movies ever made. He declined after that. (Welles married Rita Hayworth at age 28.)

Tiger Woods peaked as a teenager and was a golf “phenom” before he turned pro. But Tiger Woods is now predictably and naturally more focused on his kids.

Mate Selection for Exceptional Genes

We select mates based upon traits that effectively discriminate good genes from the norm. For many traits in our species, genes are fixed and lead to little variation among people. However, some traits have great variability between people – like Geoffrey Miller’s list of talents. Creative talent or athletic skill signal positive genetic variability. These traits help a man get chosen as a sexual partner.

Male Height is a Common Genetic Preference

There is a lot of variability in the height of adult males in North America — ranging from approximately 5 feet 3 inches to 6 feet six inches. Females who prefer relatively tall males (a widespread preference) demonstrate a preference for specific genes – the genes coding for tallness over shortness. Thus, sexual choice for an observable feature of a potential mate selects certain genes to be more likely than others to propagate in the future. (Tiger Woods is 6 feet, one inch.)

Golf Talent is Rare

Tiger Woods’ talent hitting a golf ball is a rare and exceptional genetic expression. Almost no one can hit and direct a golf ball like Tiger Woods. Tiger’s father (Earl Woods) was obsessed with golf and orchestrated Tiger’s direct exposure to golf as a toddler. Earl Woods legitimately thought Tiger innately predestined to be the best golfer in the world — a perfect integration of nature (genetics) and nurture.

Tiger’s Ultimate Goal

Tiger Woods’ ultimate goal is to be the best golfer that every lived — he wants to beat Jack Nicolas’ record of 18 major championships. No other trophies or total wins will do. Tiger is learning the toughest lesson of the hero. Yes, “winning (pretty much) takes care of everything” for attracting sexual partners and selling products. Tiger’s competitive drive is natural, instinctive, hard-wired. But does that heal the soul of a hero? We shall see.

Notes

*Make no mistake, Elin Nordegren was (is) a gorgeous, genetic “celebrity” (former model) with the very highest mate value. She could essentially have any man she wanted and could successfully choose a man of high status, stature (athletic prowess), and financial resources. That is what she did. By all accounts – fame did not need to be part of her partner’s profile. Erin was mistreated and was emotionally traumatized by Tiger Woods. (Kanazawa examined her unconscious choices.) With a divorce from Woods, she was made inordinately rich ($100 million). She had a baby in October 2019 with her boyfriend, former NFL football player, Jordan Cameron, who is 6 foot, 5 inches tall and worth approximately 20 million.

**Young men enter mate competition with fewer resources to offer women. When young men face the peril of being shut out of the mating game, violent risk-taking has been an evolutionarily sensible strategy. Today, risk-taking and antisocial behavior are strongly associated with being young and male across societies worldwide, and men at their reproductive peak tend to be the most inclined to violence, a phenomenon known as young-male syndrome.

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Why Do Men ‘Go Down’ On Women?

Why Do Men ‘Go Down’ On Women?

Most men love to go down on women to whom they are attracted because the female vulva inspires their desire—their lust. Female genitalia are attractive to most heterosexual men.  Very few things in nature can attract and captivate a man more than a woman’s labia and clitoris.  A man’s dopamine reward system blows up inside his brain in anticipation.  And, a major part of a man’s pleasure is the experience of the woman’s pleasure.  If she really likes it, a lustful circuit is generated between them.  A woman’s turned-on breath, movement, and sound is extremely empowering and satisfying for her male partner.  Also, if the man has an ounce of generosity or emotional intelligence, he loves the act of giving and serving her.

But could there be a strategic or even evolutionary reason why men want to perform cunnilingus?

Cunnilingus as Mate Retention Tactic

A study in the scientific journal, Evolutionary Psychology, attempted to delve into the scientific and evolutionary reasons why men perform oral sex on women (epjournal.net – 2013. 11(2): 405-414).  Researchers at Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan, polled 243 adult men in heterosexual relationships and determined that men perform cunnilingus as part of a “mate retention tactic” to minimize the risk of their partners’ infidelity.  Men at greater recurrent risk of sperm competition are more likely to perform cunnilingus on their partner until she achieves orgasm, the study states.

Cunnilingus, Orgasm, and Sperm Retention?

Researchers also wanted to see if cunnilingus served the purpose of sperm retention; previous research had speculated that women retain more sperm when they orgasm shortly after their partner’s ejaculation as a result of uterine contractions that pull sperm further into the reproductive tract (affectionately called the “upsuck theory.”)  But cunnilingus as a sperm-retention tactic was not consistent with the study results.  Other researchers have also disputed the “upsuck” hypothesis.

Female Orgasm and the Pair-Bond

This study connects to the larger ongoing question: what is the purpose of the female orgasm?  Evolutionary psychologists and social biologists have attempted to answer this question for many years. With regard to mate retention, it is worth remembering that, as early as 1967, Desmond Morris (The Naked Ape) proposed that female orgasm exists because the production of oxytocin and prolactin contribute to warm feelings toward a mate, thus strengthening the pair-bond.

But one commenter on the Oakland University study had a more humorous, if not common-sense insight: “If you have to ask that question (why men perform cunnilingus) then you aren’t doing it right.”

Transitioning from Political Divide Series

This missive about cunnilingus may serve as a “palette cleanser” (so sorry) for the taste of seven prior posts about our political divide. I offer it in the spirit of playfulness with hope for a sexier 2021, especially for those sheltered and socially-distanced for nine months with no partner.

Sexual Instruction is a Fool’s Errand

My interests in sexual behavior or technique is primarily about their psychological impact and meaning — what that behavior reveals about human motivation and desire. Although this post may suggest “what” to do in sexual practice, it is not (obviously) a “how-to” guide to improve male sexual “performance” or give more pleasure to a particular woman. Such instruction is mostly a fool’s errand.

Women Are Too Variable

Women are too variable and unique to predict what will work from one woman to the next and from one day to the next with the same woman. Only experimentation and dogged communication will find the key to that “kingdom.” But some sexual behaviors have a pretty good track record as pleasing to a majority of women. Cunnilingus qualifies.

Keep it Light-hearted

Orgasm, mate retention, and pair-bonding are legitimate subjects of evolutionary psychological research. But take this post mostly in a light-hearted vein and as a harbinger of more provocative posts to come.

Mating Straight Talk in 2021

My primary goal for this blog and website is to educate the general public about the facts and implications of evolutionary psychology and mate selection in human affairs. I have not seriously tried to “entertain” you. But in the coming year, I plan to tell more stories, use more humor, and invite you to engage with me. I will be a bit more practical or solution-focused. And I want to hear your ideas about the facts and theories presented here and what you think they could mean for improving your life and our culture. This is a tough ask. Evolutionary science is mostly a truth-telling about how things are, but there are glimmers of continuing human adaptation and new dreams worth sharing.

Addressing the Undiscussables

Many topics related to human mating are avoided and denied — they are “undiscussable.” I will lean into these topics in 2021. There will be more about biological sex differences, differences in sexual psychology between men and women, and more about the diversity of gender identity and sexual orientation. In biology and psychology, we must look at the exceptions to better understand the norm. The new year brings more real science and honest talk (“straight talk”) about human mating.

 

 

Evolutionary Science and Our Political Divide:  The Root of It – Part 1

Evolutionary Science and Our Political Divide: The Root of It – Part 1

Male competition for mates and sex differences are first cause in human political affairs.

Since the advent of agriculture in human societies, nearly all impulses for male power and authoritarianism, and expressions of male dominance in a social hierarchy, have ultimately been the result of men competing for sexual access to women. All disputes over territory and wars between nations have their roots in out-group competition and the rewards of that competition for increasing mating opportunities. All causes of the unequal distribution of resources throughout all of human history are linked causally to the male reproductive strategy.

All impulses to check male authoritarianism come from men and women who lack resources and equality and exist at the lower end of a social hierarchy. Women primarily lead the charge to check the impulses of authoritarian men unless they want to mate with them. Liberal policies that strive to equitably distribute resources are more frequently backed by women.

Conservatives, and especially conservative men with power, are mostly interested in pursuing and maintaining male dominance and resist policies and governmental rules that change the status quo. Conservatives are most aligned with male needs and a male mating strategy. Liberals policies are more linked to a female mating strategy which focuses on the caretaking of children and other human beings.

Evolutionary Politics

The application of evolutionary science to our current political environment is quite revealing and instructive. In Sex, Power, and Partisanship: How Evolutionary Science Makes Sense of Our Political Divide (2019), Hector Garcia explores how evolutionary adaptations explain and predict our Left-Right political divide and a litany of issues. This post (and the one to follow) relies heavily on Garcia’s insights and the book’s 533 references of scholarship covering a broad range of disciplines.

Garcia applies the evolutionary lens to conservatism versus liberalism, equality versus hierarchy, and “big ape” authoritarianism; he reveals the “politics” of human mating strategies as a story of resource acquisition, sexual control, and the power of tribes. The underbelly of our political instincts has deep ancestral roots.

Planting and Staying Put Changed Everything

The study of human evolution shows that for most of our existence as a species, individual and community interests were in rough equilibrium. Our forging ancestors sought status, like all primates, but they generally acquired the highest status by doing things that benefited the group. Hunter-gatherers kept greed in check by employing guilt and shame among the group. Cooperation was essential to survival. Before agriculture, there were restraints on competition and evidence of coordination inside of the tribe.

With the advent of agriculture and civilization, a split began to occur. Individuals could acquire hitherto unimaginable status by accumulating wealth and power – often at the expense of family and community. Once agriculture drove out foraging, the need to cooperate was no longer essential to survival. It became every man for himself, except competition between tribes (out-groups) led to the development of coalitions and subsequent war between tribes and nations.

Size of the Tribe and Food Storage

Hunter-gatherer “tribes” tended to range in size from an extended family to a larger band of no more than about 100 people. Tribe-size groups were easier to regulate from within because hunter-gatherers could not store vast amounts of food to leverage their power base; there were limits to how much wealth and influence they could acquire. But when humans began to master agriculture, things changed drastically. Men used this power to achieve reproductive success in a zero-sum game. Zero-sum games are the root of inequality.

The Split

In the United States, the split between individual interests and community interests has become embedded in two ideologies: conservativism and liberalism. Conservatives promote individual freedom and self-reliance, primarily defined as freedom from government. Liberals promote fairness and equality and freedom from injustices suffered by a large segment of the community. In a later post, I will explain the foundations of morality that have shaped these positions. It is actually more complex than “individual vs. community,” but self-interest and the common good exist in a state of tension in most political ideologies. Understanding the moral foundations of conservatives and liberals is the only way for us to “listen to learn” from one another.

“Daddy Party” and “Mommy Party”

Republicans protect us with strong national defense; Democrats nourish us with Social Security and Medicare. Republicans worry about our business affairs. Democrats look after our health, nutrition, and welfare. It’s the traditional American family. “Daddy” locks the door at night and brings home the bacon. “Mommy” worries when the kids are sick and makes sure each one gets treated fairly.  ~ Chris Mathews (1991).

Gender/Sex and Political Affiliations

The existence of a fundamental gender gap in American political party affiliation has been reported for years. In 2009, Gallop concluded their survey analysis with this: “The fact that the gender gap persists not only across age groups, but within major racial, ethnic, and marital-status groups, reinforces the conclusion that a gender difference in political orientation is a fundamental part of today’s American political and social scene.”

In 2020, the gender gap has widened even more. The New York Times/Sienna College poll of July 16, 2020, found that women favored Biden by 22 points. White women with a college degree favored Biden by 39 points. The Wall Street Journal poll in August of 2019 found that white/non-college men favored Trump by 45 points, 67-22 percent.

“Barring a giant polling error, the 2020 election will witness the largest gender gap in partisan preference since women gained the franchise” (New York Intelligencer, “Men and Women Have Never Been More Politically Divided,” October 19, 2020).

Stereotypes and Political Affiliation

Political scientist Nicolas Winter looked at US survey data from the American National Election Study from 1972 to 2004 and that found voters overwhelming used more masculine stereotypes to describe GOP candidates and more feminine characteristics to describe Democrats.

In another study (2006), political scientist Monika McDermott administered the Bem Sex Role Inventory (BSRI) to 780 Americans, along with a series of questions about their political beliefs and behavior. The BSRI is one of the most widely used instruments to assess gendered psychology. For feminine traits, the BSRI asks participants to rate how much the following descriptors apply to him or her: “understanding, sympathetic, warm, loves children, compassionate, gentle, eager to soothe hurt feelings, affectionate, sensitive to the needs of others, and tender.” Masculine traits were described as “willingness to take risks, forceful, strong personality, assertive, independent, leadership ability, aggressive, dominant, willing to take a stand, and defends own beliefs.”

McDermott found that men and women who scored high on femininity were significantly more likely to identify as Democrat, and men and women who scored high on masculinity were more likely to identify as Republican.

Why Do Sex-Based Partisan Differences Exist?

Political partisanship arises from sex-based approaches to perpetuating our genes. Conservatism is a male-centric strategy shaped by the struggle for dominance in male competitions within-and-between groups, while liberalism is a female-centric strategy derived from the protracted demands of rearing human offspring.

Not all men enact a conservative strategy, nor do all women enact a liberal strategy. But we do see sex-based leanings — two bell curves, one tilting toward the political right for men, and one tilting to the left for women, with significant overlap between the curves.

Partisan Politics and Reproductive Dominance

The tribalistic flavor (us vs. them) of political conservatism, with its emphasis on female sexual control and hawkish territorial nature, is rooted in male mate competition – the ageless biological struggle for reproductive dominance. Male competition for women turns out to be the core driving force behind political issues.

The winner-take-all mentality of conservative economic policy is based on male competition for mates. War is team-based male-mate competition. The coalitionary psychology of men was forged by the risk of being annihilated by the outside tribe – and the potential gains of taking over the rival tribes’ territory, resources, and women. Militaristic logic embedded in that psychology maps squarely onto the hallmark values of political conservatism. It is from the context of violent male mate competition and its most heightened expression, war, that we are able to most fully understand the masculine tenor of conservative political psychology.

Roots of Liberalism

The roots of liberalism have arisen from the timeless effort to rein in dominant males and to prevent them from monopolizing resources and impinging on the evolutionary fitness of those with less power. Liberalism is based on the prodigious human task of raising children, a critical survival enterprise championed by women and provisioned by the “Mommy” parties of the world.

Big Five Personality Traits

Social scientists have developed various models for understanding human personality, the most widely researched of which is known as the “Big Five.” The Big Five personality traits are openness to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Cross-cultural studies strongly suggest that Big Five patterns of interacting with the world are genetically based universals. Human personality traits, especially openness to experience, reliably correlated to political orientation.

Liberal Openness

Openness to experience is a hallmark of the liberal political orientation. This personality dimension reflects not only an openness to new things, policies, and programs, but also to other people. Liberals demonstrate xenophilia, an attraction to new cultures, and even outsiders. High openness is also related to sensation-seeking and a general appreciation for novelty and adventure. There is a moderate correlation of openness to the trait of extroversion – the tendency to be talkative and seek social interaction.

One large study (Gerber et al., 2010) of over twelve thousand Americans examined the Big Five personality traits as predictors of core social and economic values, as well as self-reported political ideology (a five-point scale ranging from very liberal to very conservative). The authors found that higher openness was associated with greater liberalism across all three measures of orientation.

Conservatives Fear Disease and Outsiders

Could fear of disease translate into fear of outsiders and political conservatism? Research has shown that individuals who have a higher perceived threat of disease show more ethnocentrism, greater xenophobic attitudes toward foreigners, and increased willingness to stigmatize socially marginalized groups. This is particularly ironic in the time off Covid-19 but will make sense in the context of conservative “moral foundations” described in a future post in this series.

Xenophobia: Membership Has its Privileges

Xenophobia is a dislike of outsiders and a corresponding preference for in-group members and values. This is not just about “outside” people and their physical differences, but also about differences related to language, customs, dress, sexual orientation, religion, nationality, political party, and even sports teams. This preference often manifests as a sense of patriotism and loyalty. Conservative political ideology predicts prejudice against an outside group. If xenophobia reflects an adaptation that helped our ancestors avoid contagious diseases from outsiders, we would expect to see xenophobia in modern times and conservatives exhibiting more fear of contagion.

Patrilocality and Human Warfare

Historically, humans have been mostly patrilocal – that is, women often left their natal group (i.e. more adapted to outsiders) whereas men stayed put with their male relatives. The resulting concentration of male blood relatives encouraged strong, trusting, and cooperative male bonds based on shared genes. The love and trust that related men have for one another have had profound implications for the human condition across time. Higher relatedness gave men greater confidence in risky cooperative enterprises, such as war. Patrilocality in human groups is associated with more frequent warfare.

Human Males Are Like Chimpanzees

Primatologists Richard Wrangham and Dale Peterson write that among four thousand mammals, only chimpanzees and humans follow this pattern of patrilocality, accompanied by “a system of intense, male-initiated territorial aggression, including lethal raiding into neighboring communities in search of vulnerable enemies to attack and kill.” Chimpanzee males are extremely hostile to outside males, thus males rarely transfer between groups. Any male attempting to transfer would be killed by the males of the out-group. By contrast, 50-90 percent of female chimpanzees transfer to other groups to breed once they reach sexual maturity. Whereas male transfers are seen as sexual competitors carrying foreign genes, females are welcomed as potential mating partners. (Again, the female-centric roots of xenophilia.)

Xenophobia and Band of Brothers

Thus, xenophobia is concentrated among men and has caused real dangers for them. Most of the world’s perpetrators of violence are men, but most of its victims are also men. The United Nations recently found that globally, 80 percent of homicide victims are men.

If ancestral men could not leave their group for fear of death, then turning inward to their band of brothers, remaining xenophobic toward outsiders, and favoring dominance over other groups was evolutionarily sensible. The over-representation of men among conservatives and the preponderance of male interests embedded in conservative ideologies reflect these ancient selection pressures on men. (I will come back to xenophobia in post #2 of this series.)

Conservatives Are “Disgusted”

Research consistently finds a higher disgust sensitivity related to self-placement on the Left-Right spectrum. One study of 31,045 men and women from 121 countries found that those who self-rated as conservative showed significantly higher disgust sensitivity than those who self-rated as liberal.

Disgust sensitivity (as well as fear of disease) can translate into fear of outsiders. Researchers found that those with higher disgust sensitivity were more likely to see immigrants and foreign ethnic groups as less than human, and scored higher on measures of political conservatism, social dominance orientation, and right-wing authoritarianism. Research in this area links the fear of pathogens to disapproval of nonnormative sexual behaviors, which suggests that our sexual morality is rooted in adaptations designed to help us survive reproduction in a world filled with pathogens. (I will address social dominance orientation and right-wing authoritarianism more in-depth in the next post.)

Conservatism, Conscientiousness, and Closed Systems

Conscientiousness (a Big Five personality trait) is consistently associated with political conservatism. Conscientiousness relates to orderliness and control of one’s environment. According to a study by Alain Van Heil and colleagues reported in the Journal of Personality, a preference for closed systems is related to cognitive rigidity, or lower cognitive complexity – the ability to grasp alternative perspectives or dimensions and synthesize those varying perspectives into a cohesive framework. An example offered by Garcia: saying “All immigrants are criminals,” instead of reasoning, “Some immigrants my commit crimes, but many do not, and there are a variety of factors that may lead to such behaviors” (p. 60).

Conservatives Are More Rule-oriented

Related to conscientiousness, conservatives in the US score higher than liberals on measures of following rules. This is linked to the conservative value of traditionalism and dedication to the existing way of doing things – a resistance to social change. Conservatives tend to favor harsher punishment for rule-breakers, such as the death penalty and longer prison sentences.

Political Affiliation and the Autistic “Male” Brain

One theory that might explain the conservative, male-centric personality is proffered by British developmental psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen. He argues that autism is an extreme variant of the male brain. Autism is over-represented by males in a 10-1 ratio. Baron-Cohen also describes how men prefer “closed systems” that are predictable, factual, rule-based, knowable, and to some extent, controllable. Again, these ways of processing information are linked more reliably with the “conscientiousness” of conservatism and in opposition to the “openness to experience” of political liberals.

Theory of Mind

Important differences between females and males that Baron-Cohen uses to explain autism are glaringly present between liberals and conservatives. Being able to read the mind of another human (thoughts, emotions, intentions) is called theory of mind (ToM). The inability to read minds is one of the hallmarks of autism. There is much evidence that women outperform men on theory of mind (ToM) tasks and are better at understanding the minds of others.

Brain Morphology and Theory of Mind

The brains of men and women (morphology and function) exhibit vastly more similarities than differences. Even so, existing differences have meaningful implications for our political psychology.

While few studies to date have measured the difference in the theory of mind between liberal and conservatives, two neuroimaging studies give us some interesting clues. One study measured gray-matter volume and found those self-identified as liberal exhibited greater volume in the anterior cingulate cortex, a brain region implicated in the theory of mind and feeling the pain of others. Conservatives had greater brain volume in the amygdala — the fear center of the brain.

Another study examined MRIs of Republicans and Democrats. Republicans showed greater activation in the amygdala, and Democrats had more activation in the cingulate insula, a brain region also activated in theory of mind tasks. Mindreading differences between liberals and conservatives may be a function of differences in brain structure.

Women and Liberals Show More Empathy

Any research finding of difference between women and men will have a rough correlation to differences between liberals and conservatives, respectively. For instance, women score higher on questionnaires that measure empathy. Girls from one year of age show more empathy to others’ suffering than do boys. Liberals show more signs of distress about violence and suffering than conservatives and tend to score higher on empathy measures.

Language, Gender, and Political Affiliation

Women have better language skills. A Gallup poll (2001) found that those who identified as being liberal were more likely to be bilingual than moderates or conservatives. Other studies show that liberals score higher than conservatives on verbal ability and vocabulary tests. (And girls develop vocabularies faster than boys.) Lower verbal ability has also been associated with right-wing authoritarianism and a high social dominance orientation. (I would gladly supply the eight studies behind this section upon request.)

Fairness and Turn-taking

Females are generally more concerned with fairness and males are more concerned with dominance hierarchies. These tendencies are observed early. One study found that girls exhibited twenty times more turn-taking than boys and boys exhibited competitive behaviors fifty times more than girls. Boys often form dominance hierarchies. Girls, on the other hand, spend more energy trying to solve differences using politeness, tact, and diplomacy. Boys are more incline to intra-group and intergroup dominance. Boys don’t let losers forget who won. Girls more often try to make the players feel equal and deemphasize who won. Intergroup dominance among male competitors continues into adulthood and is seen everywhere from professional sports teams to street gangs to militaries.

Primacy of Fairness for Liberals

In my next post, I will expound at length about the moral foundations of liberalism and conservativism. Suffice to say now, the concept of fairness (meaning equality) is a sacred value for liberals. In one large international study (34,476 subjects) conducted by Jesse Graham, liberals agreed to such statements as “when the government makes laws, the number one principle should be ensuring that everyone is treated fairly.” Graham found that fairness concerns are reliably higher among those identifying as liberals.

Conservatives and Social Hierarchy

Conservatives are more comfortable with social hierarchies, tend to oppose policies such as affirmative action, and participate little in efforts to redirect social wealth. Research has found that conservatives score higher on the Social Dominance Orientation scale (SDO). In my next post, I will explore and assert the benefits of a conservative framework that are somewhat independent of their comfort with social hierarchies.

“Conservatives” Helped Our Ancestors Survive – a Prologue to Moral Foundations

There is a significant relationship between conservatism, masculinity, physical stature, spatial abilities, and many other adaptations that are geared for using violence to survive a harsh, ancestral environment. There is evidence that less empathy among men has fitness benefits. A lack of empathy has utility in male mate competition and for killing in warfare. Natural selection doesn’t care what traits get passed on. Sometimes the advantage can involve empathy, and at other times, suppressing it. It is not difficult to imagine how suppressing empathy would help in the heat of battle. In a similar vein, intolerance for ambiguity would be useful in dangerous environments such as combat. When the stakes are life and death, it makes more sense to think in black and white terms.

Conclusion of Post #1 — The Roots of Our Political Divide

The differences found between men and women related to cognition, affect, language, social behavior, and brain morphology, strongly mirror the same differences between liberals and conservatives and are directly correlated to male and female mating strategies. “Stereotypes about liberalism having a feminine quality and conservatism a masculine one, have empirical backing and are rooted in our neuropsychology, which was shaped by selective pressures of the natural and social environments of our ancestors. In turn, our evolved political orientations reflect those pressures. While there have been many explanations for what drives our political stances, few have as much explanatory power as the strategies we employ to survive and reproduce” (Sex, Power and Partisanship. p.64-65).

Stayed tuned for Post #2 in this Series, the Roots of Our Political Divide

In the next post (#2 of “Roots”), I will address social dominance orientation (SDO), right-wing authoritarianism, the politics of sexual control, and much more. After that, I will unveil the brilliant work of Jonathan Haidt on the moral foundations of liberalism, conservativism, and libertarianism, and address related issues of motivated reasoning in the post-objectivity era.

References

Gerber, A. et al., (2010). “Personality and Political Attitudes: Relationships across Issue Domains and Political Contexts,” American Political Science Review, 104.

Graham, J. et al., (2011). “Mapping the Moral Domain,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101.

Kanai, R. et al., (2016). “Political Orientations Are Correlated with Brain Structure in Young Adults,” Current Biology 21, no. 8.

McCue, C. & Gopoian, D., (2000). “Dispositional Empathy and the Political Gender Gap,” Women & Politics, 21, No. 2.

McDermott, M., (2016). Masculinity, Femininity, and American Political Behavior.

Schreiber, D. et al. (2013). “Red Brain, Blue Brain: Evaluative Processes Differ in Democrats and Republicans,” PLoS ONE 8, no. 2.

Van Heil et al., (2010). “The Relationship between Social-Cultural Attitudes and Behavioral Measures of Cognitive Style: A Meta-Analytic Integration of Studie,” Journal of Personality 78, no. 6.

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