First Principle: Acknowledge Male-Female Differences

First Principle: Acknowledge Male-Female Differences

As I prepare to address issues of sexual orientation and fluidity (see Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, Presentation, and Biological Sex), it seems appropriate if not necessary to review “first principles” related to my mission and central message, including:

  • Assumptions of Mating Straight Talk
  • General differences between men and women in sexual psychology and response
  • The twenty-two (22) domains of male-female difference. Domain #13 is related to the influence of context, and domain #15 is about sexual orientation, preference, and response variability.  These domains will receive special attention in coming posts. But nearly all domains have an impact on sexual fluidity.
Denial of Sex Differences is Problematic

Part of the mission of Mating Straight Talk is to affirm the differences between the sexes as revealed by evolutionary science and psychological research.  My motivation?  The denial of relevant sex differences in our culture is nearly as problematic as the denial of similarities related to race, ethnicity, and religion.

We Are Uniquely The Same

As a degreed person from a  humanistic psychology graduate program started by a colleague of Abraham Maslow, I am well aware of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.  Although at least one evolutionary psychologist (Douglas Kenrick at Arizona State) has offered a revision of Maslow’s hierarchy to include sex, mate acquisition, and mate retention, I embrace Maslow’s original ideas describing the universal features of human beings – similar needs of all human men and women.  But from an evolutionary perspective, a salient question remains: How do men vs. women uniquely meet the needs of esteem, belonging, and intimacy as a function of their biological sex?  Is it the same in aggregate?  I think not.

Universal Emotions — Sex-Specific Causes

I believe in exploring universal emotional needs as a pathway for healing interpersonal relationships, perhaps, especially for couples.  All men and women experience anger, sadness, fear, joy, anticipation, surprise, disgust, and trust.*  But there are often sex-specific causes for these emotions.

We are “spiritually” all one.  In the quantum universe, we are the same.  In the material world of dimorphic human culture, we are most often diverse and functionally unique as an expression of our gender and sex.

Assumptions of Mating Straight Talk

Men and women have similarities as human beings and aggregate differences that are primarily a function of biology and evolutionary adaptation.  Our similarities do not often cause conflict.  But our differences, and the denial of those differences, often cause “trouble.”

Women and men have differences that we must acknowledge and understand to have satisfying heterosexual (romantic and sexual) relationships.

Men and women have differences that we must acknowledge to “re-balance” and integrate the biological and social sciences in academia and overcome resistance to the facts of evolved behavioral sex differences and evolutionary psychology.

Women and men have differences that we must acknowledge and understand to clarify the “politics” of sex and gender and challenge pockets of censorship in the public domain.

Men and women need “straight talk” (radical honesty) to uncover and accept our differences.

Women and men need “straight talk” about our differences to empower one another for co-creative relationships.

Vive la Différence

Over the millennia, men and women have evolved with different objectives and strategies of sexual psychology and response related to choosing a mate, reproduction, and parental investment.

General Differences between Men and Women in Sexual Psychology and Response
  • Women have their unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and vary more than men in anatomy, sexual response, sexual mechanisms, and how their bodies respond to the sexual world. Women vary more widely from each other and change more substantially over their lifetime than do men.
  • Women are less likely to have alignment (“concordance”) between their genital response and subjective arousal; this causes confusion and misunderstanding for women and their male partners. Men have dramatically more concordance between their genital response and subjective arousal.
  • All sex happens in context. Women are more context-sensitive than men, and all external circumstances of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman’s arousal, desire, and orgasm.
  • Women’s sexual functioning is more influenced by their internal brain state — how they think and feel about sex. Judgment, shame, stress, mood, trust, body image, and past trauma influence a woman’s sexual well-being.
  • Men and women have significantly different hormones and some variations in brain structure. Differences caused by the amount of testosterone cannot be overstated.
  • Women and men differ significantly in visual orientation for physical attraction and production of sexual thoughts.
  • Men and women have different preferences and priorities for the traits desired in a mate (with agreement about kindness, stability, humor, and care of children).
  • Human sexual response consists of a “dual control” system with an excitation mechanism (“accelerator”) and an inhibition mechanism (“brake”). Men are accelerator-dominant, and women are brake-dominant.
  • Related to differences between the sexual “accelerator” and “brake,” men operate primarily from “spontaneous desire” triggers, and women operate primarily from “response desire” triggers.
  • Men sell (primarily), and women buy (most often) in the mating economy; this is the predominant evolutionary dynamic. The psychology of the sexual initiator and pursuer is vastly different from that of the one pursued and the one who chooses among her pursuers.
  • The psychology of male intra-sexual competition differs from that of female intersexual selection (preferential mate choice.) Also, women’s intra-sexual competition (competing against each other) for male attention is a different behavioral phenomenon than male-on-male competition.

And last but not least:

  • Women’s sexual functioning includes sexual attractions, romantic affections, sexual practices/behaviors, and preference/orientation identities that are different from men’s sexual functioning due to biological and cultural adaptations. The fundamental and defining feature of female sexual orientation is fluidityMen are not nearly as fluid as women.  Researcher Lisa Diamond (Sexual Fluidity — Understanding Women’s Love and Desire) defines sexual fluidity as “situation-dependent flexibility in women’s sexual responsiveness.”

Terms of Engagement – Prelude to Understanding Female Sexual Fluidity

Diamond uses the term “sexual orientation” to mean a consistent pattern of sexual desire for individuals of the same-sex, other-sex, or both sexes, regardless of whether this pattern of desire is manifested in sexual behavior.

Sexual Identity

“Sexual identity” refers to a culturally organized conception of the self, usually “lesbian/gay,” “bisexual,” or “heterosexual.”  As with “sexual orientation,” Diamond says we cannot presume that these identities correspond with particular patterns of behavior, especially for women.  Nor can we assume that they correspond with specific patterns of desire.  Women often reject conventional labels in favor of “queer,” “questioning,” “pansexual,” or simply “unlabeled.”

Same-Sex and Other-Sex Orientation

Diamond uses the term “same-sex orientation” to refer to all experiences of same-sex desire, romantic affection, fantasy, or behavior.  She uses “other-sex” sexuality instead of “opposite sex” because (she says) it is more scientifically accurate.  She uses the terms “lesbian” and “bisexual” but considers them problematic (to be addressed later.)  If a person is 100 percent attracted to one sex, they are “exclusively” attracted (in Diamond’s terminology).  All other patterns of attraction are “nonexclusive.”

Domains of Male-Female Differences in Sexual Psychology

Here is a list of the twenty-two domains of male-female differences in sexual psychology and response.  There is overlap and synergy between the domains, but the underlying distinctions are clarifying. These differences are based on statistical aggregates of all men and women from authoritative research studies and cannot predict the unique sexuality of a particular man or woman.

  1. Behavioral dynamics in the mating economy
  2. Long-term vs. short-term mating strategies
  3. Trait preferences and priorities for mate selection
  4. Physical attraction and perceptions of beauty
  5. Concordance between physiological response and psychological desire
  6. Spontaneous desire vs. response desire
  7. Sex and love-making that fuels desire
  8. Accelerator vs. brake: sexual excitation and inhibition systems
  9. Brain structures: sexual pursuit and visual stimuli
  10. Hormonal differences
  11. Variety and novelty
  12. Sexual mentation and “sex drive”
  13. Influence of context
  14. Female competing intentions and imposed double binds
  15. Sexual orientation (and preference) fluidity and response variability
  16. Orgasm – purpose and characteristics
  17. Meta emotions
  18. Romance and desire, together and apart
  19. Psychology of monogamy
  20. Infidelity – reasons and response
  21. Jealousy – triggers, tactics, and consequences
  22. Sexual fantasies

I will eventually examine each domain as a distinct phenomenon of difference. However, some domains will be addressed together because they are related or parallel in physiological or psychological response.  Differences between men and women in genetic make-up and physical morphology are not included as separate domains (see Biological Differences).  But genetic differences will be addressed in a future post about “biological sex.”

*In modern-day “assortative mating” — the economy of mate selection — a similarity of interests, values, and background works better for relationship satisfaction than “opposites attracting.”

 

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Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, Presentation, and Biological Sex

Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, Presentation, and Biological Sex

“Everyone under 25 thinks they are queer.”

~   The Bisexual (Hulu)

Mating Straight Talk (MST) attempts to scientifically demonstrate the evolved behavioral sex differences between men and women and explain human mate selection; it does so because heterosexual (behaviorally) men and women produce human children and the race of homo sapiens on earth.

MST affirms “straight” male and female sexuality as drivers of procreation and protection of offspring but recognizes outliers of sexual orientation that must be explained or incorporated into the understanding of the forces that propel sexual reproduction.  We cannot fully understand “straight” sexuality without considering the proportion, “causes,” and role that homosexuality (and all apparent variations of sexual orientation along a continuum) may play in the evolution of human species — or at least the role of sexual orientation variations in contemporary dating and mating.

Starting with a Basic Foundation of Sexual Orientation

In the coming months, I will write about the complex and sometimes confusing world of sexual orientation, gender identity, identity presentation, and the biology of sex. I will start by addressing a “basic foundation”: sexual orientation among cisgender individuals – (people who identify with the biological sex that they were assigned at birth).

Cisgender Is Subjective

While cisgender individuals are the statistical norm (mode), even “cisgender” (as a category of gender identity) has a psychological component. Identity is always subjective and personal.  For example, a person can have an xx chromosomal/genetic makeup, female external genitalia, female internal reproductive organs, be considered a girl by the hospital, midwife, and parents, yet still “choose” to identify as a man.  However, being cisgender theoretically says nothing about sexual orientation — nothing about who that person desires and wants to have sex with (or why).   Sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender presentation often get conflated and confused in the immense vocabulary of “identity” parlance.  Later, I will introduce the variations of gendered identity beyond cisgender and biological sex (i.e., “male” and “female.”)

But to simplify, let’s begin with sexual orientation among cisgender identified individuals and consider the following “foundational” spectrum:

Orientation Spectrum
  • Homosexuality (gay/lesbian): (Near) exclusive sexual attraction to, or sexual activity with, the same sex.
  • Bisexuality: Some proportion of attraction to both the opposite sex and the same sex (roughly within a 30-70% split one way or another as a conceptual null hypothesis) exhibited by internal experience, desire, and behavior depending upon the context and a host of factors.
  • Mostly straight” women:  I will also call them “hetero-flexible.”  These are self-identified heterosexual women who express an “occasional” or infrequent feeling of desire for another women or behavior of sexual attraction to another woman.  Along with outright bisexuality, this orientation designation draws from a broad spectrum of research on women’s sexual fluidity that is dramatically on the increase among Gen Y.1 (25-29 years old) and Gen Z (up to 24 years of age).
  • Mostly straight” men: Based on the book and research by Rich Savin-Williams at Cornell, these are supposedly self-identified heterosexual men who occasionally have a desire for and sexual behavior with other men. For me, this is the most interesting (and perhaps controversial) category to investigate on the sexual orientation spectrum.  What does evolutionary psychology have to say about these men?
  • Heterosexual men and women: Men and women who are sexually attracted to the opposite sex.  They are the most common orientation and the subject of most research on sexual selection in evolutionary psychology.
  • Where do asexuals, “pansexuals,” and “demi-sexuals” fit along the above spectrum? Are they an actual orientation?  All of this will be explored in future posts.
Sources of Information

These are broad and complex topics studied and researched primarily within the field of “gender studies.”  I will draw upon just a fraction of the available literature, including:

Books:

  • Lisa Diamond’s classic Sexual Fluidity, Understanding Women’s Love and Desire (2008).
  • Rich Savin-Williams’ ground-breaking book, Mostly Straight, Sexual Fluidity Among Men (2017).
  • Jennifer Baumgardner’s Look Both Ways — Bisexual Politics (2007).

Popular – Lay Critiques:

  • “The Science of Gender (Time Magazine, Special Edition, 2020).
  • “The Gender Revolution” (National Geographic, Special Edition, Jan. 2017).
  • Writings and resources from the website Them and writings in the categories of relationship and sexuality appearing in Medium.

Last But Not Least — from Evolutionary Psychology:

  • Numerous critiques, studies, and articles.

 

Commentary in Future Posts – Confusion and Inquiry

Here are some of the issues that I will be addressing in the coming months:

What Are the Effects of Increasing Female Sexual Fluidity on Heterosexual Relationships?

  • The “new” bisexuality and hetero-flexibility of women may significantly influence the heterosexual mating marketplace – a marketplace that already favors the erotic power of women to choose and the struggles of men to be chosen.  We would be well served to understand the cultural forces that seem to have increased female sexual fluidity.
  • Is there a drift away from men as sexual partners and less understanding and respect for male heterosexuality? This “drift away” from men appears to be an exercise in preference, not orientation.
  • What are the problems of heterosexual men in attempting to partner with these women? The bisexual behavior of women may be uncovering an inherent female bisexual orientation, or it could also be an expression of a disenchantment with men and masculinity in general.
What Are the Sociological Causes of Increased Declarations of “Queer” Identity?
  • Is the increased number of “queer-identified” (used as a convenient short-cut, catch-all term) young Americans due to new permission to “come out,” or is there some deeper nature-nurture co-evolution expressing itself (albeit with radically accelerated speed)?
  • How much of “queer identity” is a cultural meme related to the need to be unique and “cool” yet also (paradoxically) driven by a need to belong and relieve anxiety?
  • How much of this cultural phenomenon (or even a fast-moving nurture-nurture co-evolutionary effect) is a function of the digital and virtual world where any identity can be tested and tried with relative anonymity? (See episodes of Black Mirror.)
  • How much of “queer identity” reflects a lens of activism projected through the entertainment media: the view of the outlier and artist who is disproportionately “queer,” providing commentary on all these issues through film, TV, and theatre?  Are we being “hammered” by political correctness and snowflake psychology to put a flashing (and exaggerated) neon light on the need for change?  Does this powerful voice of change necessarily represent a proportional expression of the actual numbers of people within the sexual orientation and gender identity communities across the globe?
Conflating of Terms Across Domains of Function

There is a mixture and conflating of orientation, gender identity, biological sex, and gender presentation in the umbrella category of LGBTQ2SIA+.

The LGBTQ2SIA+ acronym is a political designation that identifies anyone who does not identify with the biological sex “assigned to them” at birth or anyone who is not heterosexual.  Therefore, this categorical umbrella has myriad designations of biology and subjective psychological states which overlap and involve redundancy with inadequate definitions and distinctions between them.  (This is one of the reasons why there is much internal strife between political advocacy groups representing these designations.)

Conflating of Biological Sex and Gender Identity in Arguments

In the political advocacy writings about (and from) these groups, there is often a conflating of biological sex and gender identity in their arguments.  On the one hand, the difference between biological sex and gender identity is described.  Then several paragraphs later, gender identity will be used to imply biological sex and vice versa without noting that a blurring of definitions has occurred.

What About Trans-sexuality and Intersex?

The issues, needs, and stories of transsexuals are compelling and deserve our full attention and support. Unpacking the permutations of gender identities and expressions of sexual orientation among transsexuals (and their partners) is one of the most unexplored areas of sexual, psychological research.  One question jumps out in this sphere:  what is the biological basis (genetic, hormonal, neural) for gender dysphoria?

There are differences of opinion about the nature and amount of people who do not present as one biological sex or the other, i.e., as men or women.  These people are called intersex — an umbrella term for several biological and physiological conditions.  Intersex folks are rare, but their political advocacy is not.

Do We Still Have Biological Men and Women?

What we are perhaps left with, inside the advocacy of these various groups, is the idea that a biological “man” and “woman” may no longer make sense.  It is asserted (in some circles) that not only is gender “non-binary” (with literally millions of possibilities of proclaimed identification) but that biological sex is also non-binary (which is NOT to say it is a continuum).  And yet, we need sperm and ovum (unfertilized female gamete) to make the human race on planet earth.

Political Battles and Framing

One might notice that much of the discussion about gender identity, orientation, etc., is framed as a political battle of us vs. them, oppressed vs. oppressor, victim vs. perpetrator. This framing is not incorrect per se; it just obfuscates the knowledge within the biological and psychological sciences.   It heightens the influence of the social and emotional context in the field of human sexuality (especially female sexuality) and reproduction.  The history and certitude of human reproduction and sexual selection are blurred under the weight of group politics and individual expressions for belonging, recognition, and justice.

Why Swim in These Waters?

An attempt to systematically unpack the confusing and ever-evolving narratives of sexual orientation and gender identity is probably a fool’s errand.  Why address issues of sexual orientation in the posts of MST (leaving aside, for now, the multitudinous universe of gender identity variations)?  From the About page on this site, one of the purposes of MST is “to explore and bring clarity to issues of gender politics and the tensions between men and women related to roles, power, and sexual strategies with a focus on honesty, mutual understanding, and complementarity.” The upcoming posts are “on purpose.”

Evolutionary Psychology Joins the Conversation

Conversations about orientation and identity are ubiquitous in current politics, popular psychology, social media, and entertainment.   They are staring us in the face.  Evolutionary psychology and mate selection science must be in the mix with critique and information and thus utilize this cultural moment to expand our knowledge of what it means to be a sexual human being.

Outliers Reveal More About Evolved Sex Differences?

Statistical outliers of orientation may help elucidate the nature of male and female sexuality and the evolved behavior differences between “the sexes.”  The broader conversation about the spectrum of sexual orientation and gender identity may increase our understanding of the co-evolutionary synergy of biology and culture.  Grasping the contours of sexuality in 2021 seems to require exploring the continuum of “queer” identities; it calls for an inquiry about the biology, psychology, and cultural politics of desire and sexual relating.   Certainly, it provokes curiosity about what it means to be human.

Beyond Nature and Nurture

Relatedly, evolutionary psychology (EP) must continue to articulate insights beyond the “nature vs. nurture” debate and explain what is meant by “dual inheritance” or “structured prior-to-experience.”  Also, EP must recognize the possibilities of human potential that come from “naming” (if not discovering) new forms of identity.

The Tenets of Sexual Selection Do Not Change

Alas, perhaps it is not necessary to solve the riddle of homosexuality, bisexuality, and “mostly straight” sexuality (and other variations of orientation) as it relates to evolution and sexual reproduction.  (More of the fool’s errand?  The jury is still out.) The basic tenets of mate choice (sexual selection) for reproduction do not change.  Procreation between biological men and women (sperm and ovum) seems to operate unimpeded on its own terms.

 

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Want An Equal Marriage? Then Date As Equals

Want An Equal Marriage? Then Date As Equals

Based on “If You Want a Marriage of Equals, Then Date As Equals,” by Ellen Lamont in The Atlantic, February 14, 2020.

“I know it feels counterintuitive…..I’m a feminist,” the first woman said.  “But I like to have a guy be chivalrous.”

Heterosexual women with progressive-liberal political leanings often say they want an equal partnership with men. “But dating is a different story entirely,” according to feminist sociologist Ellen Lamont of Appalachian State University and author of  The Mating Game: How Gender Still Shapes How We Date. Lamont’s research found that such women expected men to ask for, plan, and pay for dates.  They also expected men to initiate sex, confirm the exclusivity of a relationship and propose marriage.  “After setting all those precedents, these women then wanted a marriage in which they shared the financial responsibilities, housework, and child care relatively equally,” wrote Lamont in an article for The Atlantic.  Very few of Lamont’s female subjects saw these dating practices as a threat to their feminist credentials or their desire for egalitarian marriages.  Lamont says they are wrong on both counts.

Glaring Disconnect – Progressive Beliefs vs. Lived Experience

Lamont noticed a glaring disconnect between straight women’s views on marriage and thoughts on dating.  Lamont found that once these women were married, it was difficult to “right the ship.”  The same gender stereotypes that they adopted while dating played out in their long-term partnerships.

Interviewing “Woke” Millennials

Lamont interviewed heterosexual and LGBTQ people in the San Francisco Bay area – highly educated, professional-track young adults.  Everyone she interviewed was quite vocal in their support of gender equality and readily accepted the label “feminist.”

Three-quarters of millennials in America support gender equality at work and home and agree that the ideal marriage is equitable.  Consequently, Lamont expected her female interviewees to epitomize feminist liberation.  Yet, when they thought of equality among men and women, they focused more on professional opportunities than on interpersonal dynamics.

Gender Equality Gains at Work – Not at Home

Lamont had long been interested in how gender influences behavior in romantic relationships. She was well aware that research showed more significant gains in gender equality at work than at home.   Americans with a college education now get married in their early 30s on average.  Young adults put their love life on hold while they invest in their education and establish a career.  Lamont’s female subjects expected their partner to support their ambitious professional goals.  The men said they desired and respected these independent, high-achieving women and saw them as more compatible partners as a result.

“It’s a Deal Breaker If He Doesn’t Pay”

“Can I be a self-sufficient, empowered woman and still enjoy it when a guy picks up the check?” appeared as a question in a recent Vogue opinion column.  Apparently, the answer is “yes.”  Many of the women Lamont spoke to enacted strict dating rules.  “It’s a deal-breaker if a man doesn’t pay for a date,” one 29-year-old woman said.  A 31-year-old woman said, “if a man doesn’t pay, “they just probably don’t like you very much.”  The women assumed that many of the men were looking for nothing more than a hook-up, so some of these dating rituals were tests to see whether the man was truly interested in a commitment.  A third woman, also 31, told Lamont, “I feel like men need to feel like they are in control, and if you ask them out, you end up looking desperate, and it’s a turnoff to them.”

Risk of Not Paying: Reduced Mate Value

Female commentators in the relationship advice genre for men have suggested that men pay for first dates (at least) as a default position, lest the man is viewed as:

  • Cheap (unnecessarily frugal and no fun)
  • Ungenerous of character (does not readily give to others – a serious red flag)
  • Poor (on a tight budget – definitely a limitation as a potential mate)
  • Not interested in the woman (a possible false negative)

It is no wonder that men err on the side of paying even if they hope for equity in a long-term relationship.  First, they have to “win the day” and protect their first impression – and their perceived mate value.

“I Like a Guy to be Chivalrous”

On dates, the women talked to Lamont about acting demure and allowing men to do more of the talking.  Women, they said, were more attractive to men when they appeared unattainable, so women preferred for the men to follow up after a date.  None of the women considered proposing marriage; that was the man’s job.  “I know it feels counterintuitive…..I’m a feminist,” the first woman said.  “But I like to have a guy be chivalrous.”

Men Want These Rituals?

Not all of the heterosexual women Lamont interviewed felt strongly about these dating rules.  “Yet even the few women who fell into this category,” says Lamont, “tended to go along with traditional dating rituals anyway, arguing that the men they dated wanted these rituals, and the women just didn’t care enough to challenge the status quo.”  Yet, some men admitted to Lamont that they had run into “conflicts” with strong-willed women.

Men Sometimes Resisted

The heterosexual men Lamont interviewed claimed that a woman’s assertiveness took the pressure off them.  While some liked paying for dates, feeling that the gesture was a nice way to show they cared, others were resistant.  One man told Lamont that he splits the cost of a date fifty-fifty.  “Just because I carry the penis does not mean that I need to buy your food for you.  You’re educated or want to be educated; you want to be independent  – take your stance.”

Undoing Gender Roles in Marriage Was Difficult

Lamont found that when men and women endorsed these traditional gender roles early in their relationship, undoing those views in marriage was difficult. The married men she interviewed often left caregiving and housework to the women and considered themselves primarily breadwinners and decision-makers.  Time-use surveys in the U.S. show that women still do about twice as much unpaid labor in the home as men.  One woman said of her husband, “he’ll take our son on bike rides with him.  But in the middle of the night, I’m the one getting up.”

Set Up Expectations from the Outset

The majority of LGBTQ people Lamont interviewed wanted no part of the dating scripts they saw as connected to gender inequality.   “We have explicitly said we’re not normal or traditional so that we can write the script ourselves.”  Most noteworthy, the LGBTQ interviewees set up the expectations of equality from the outset of dating, not after it. This approach shifted their understanding of what was possible for intimate relationships, and they, for the most part, had more equal long-term relationships as a result.

Outside of the Heterosexual Mating Dynamic

LGBTQ individuals espoused similar ideals about equity but were more likely to reject and resist dominant courtship scripts.  This resistance is not surprising to evolutionary psychologists.  Once outside of the male-female mating dynamic (based on sexual selection for reproduction) and the co-evolutionary “arms race” of competing male-female sexual psychologies, it is expected that such courtship rituals would have less relevance.

Sociology vs. Evolutionary Psychology

According to fellow academics who reviewed her book, Lamont uses the “sociological imagination” to interpret her data.  A focus on the relationship between individual agency and larger social structures represents the customary sociological view of the bidirectional relationship between individuals and society.

Lamont does not seem to understand or acknowledge the evolutionary power of male-female differences in mating strategy that undergirds traditional courtship scripts.  Traits that have a long evolutionary history for successful mating either supersede or interact with existing social structures.  Confidence and displays of status and competence are critical attractors for women; they are unconsciously embedded in many traditional courtship rituals.

It is Not “Counterintuitive” – It is Sexual Selection

“I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?”  ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

Women want both power (resources) and kindness in their mates. Women have a natural attraction and sexual charge for alpha traits (which are preeminently desired) but also have a secondary need for safety and loyalty (beta traits) to ensure long-term mating success and ongoing provision and protection of children.  Male beta traits are more correlated with progressive-liberal political leanings and likely incorporate favorable views of feminist ideology; these traits mostly signal kindness, not power.

Female Competing Preferences – the Trade-off Problem

Because status and power do not easily co-exist with loyalty and kindness, women must often choose between these traits (what evolutionary psychologists call the “trade-off problem”) in an attempt to find the right combination in a chosen mate.  Men of status and power usually get the first or longest “interview” with women.  The sexual attraction to them is strongest; the hope is that the man will turn out to be loyal and authentically generous – at least for that particular woman.

Double Trouble for Men

Women’s competing mate preferences often cause double binds for men.  (See Psychological Double Binds Imposed on Men.)  The man wants to please a woman, but she may be confused from moment to moment or in a constant state of dilemma and tension about what she wants and needs.  She wants a chivalrous suitor AND an egalitarian partner.  (To be fair, those behaviors are not necessarily mutually exclusive.)

Trade-off Problem in Era of Female Empowerment

“A showdown between traditionalism and egalitarianism is underway.”  ~ Ellen Lamont

The “trade-off” problem for women has become particularly acute during the modern era of female empowerment and feminist cultural framing; the “shadow self” of female biological imperatives has become more hidden yet prone to “leak out” with mixed messages to the surface of present-day male-female mate selection and romantic-sexual relating.

Lamont uncovered these mixed messages in her research. The first step in addressing a double bind, hypocrisy, or a mixed message is to see it and name it for what it is – or write a book about it, in Lamont’s case.

Dating As Equals – “I Want This and That”

Here are a few mixed messages (expression of needs) from women related to the issues of “dating as equals.”  Men often process them as menacing double-binds.   It is challenging to find a compromise or middle ground in response, although it is not impossible for an emotionally intelligent and strong man.

As Lamont discovered, these needs often lurk underneath the contemporary tension between men and women in heterosexual relationships.  They operate on a continuum but are magnified here without nuance to bring clarity to their evolutionary roots and power —  and to demonstrate the reason why they are so “undiscussable.”

Even liberated women might say:

  • “I want full equality of economic power and opportunity, but I also want to mate with a man who has as much or more power than me, and preferably more power than other men.”
  • “I will rail against gender power inequality while I actually want to partner and have sex with a man who is at the top of the power hierarchy.”
  • “I want a man who embraces feminist positions politically while being an alpha among his peers.”
  • “Please have the willingness and capacity to provide, be generous, make decisions, be chivalrous, and offer protection. I prefer that you offer to pay for most everything and never expect me to pay for you.  I do not want to embrace the role of ‘receiver of gifts’ even though it turns me on.”
  • “I want to be seen as taking care of myself. Provide for me in some way but do not patronize or disempower me as you do that.”
  • “Please help around the house! But your domestication may remove my sexual charge for you.”  (This possibility has been found in a study or two.)
How “Gender” Still Shapes How We Date

Lamont’s research and book look at how people with diverse gender identities and sexualities date, form relationships, and make decisions about commitments as they negotiate an uncertain romantic landscape.  She uncovers how “gender” still shapes how we date.

Lamont’s decidedly liberal subject sample makes a strong case that espoused progressive cultural values do not dramatically change the courtship behavior of heterosexuals.  Evolutionary mate selection dynamics, biological imperatives, and the nature of male and female sexuality most often supersede new cultural norms.  Women want men who show confidence, initiation, and generosity –  the capacity to use resources on their behalf.

Conclusion

Lamont says that most heterosexuals engage in courtship rituals that reinforce gender differences despite claiming a desire for egalitarian relationships with equal division of work/household labor and financial independence of both partners.  Lamont makes the case that by clinging to traditional courtships scripts, young adults unwittingly undermine the gender revolution they say they embrace.

Epilogue

 “Ultimately, what was revealed (it seemed to me), unspoken but acted upon, was that the ‘old male’ was still very much desired by women for the security they delivered.” 

~ Steven Fearing, Origins of Mating Straight Talk – Reasons and Reflections

References

Lamont, E. “If You Want a Marriage of Equals, Then Date As Equals,” The Atlantic, February 14, 2020.

Lamont, E. (2020). The Mating Game: How Gender Still Shapes How We Date.

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Political Divide Part 5: The Challenge of E Pluribus Unum – “Out of Many, One”

Political Divide Part 5: The Challenge of E Pluribus Unum – “Out of Many, One”

A wise skepticism is the first attribute of a good critic.

~ James Russell Lowell (1819-1891)

In This Post (Strands of Rope)
  • Jonathan Haidt’s constructive criticism of Democrats
  • Challenges and miracle of e pluribus unum – “out of many, one”
  • Problems with “defund the police” messaging
  • Disagreements with Haidt’s portrayal of the moral matrices
  • Dangers of “moral capital” and potential failures of the Conservative moral matrix
  • “Yin and yang” interdependency of our political affiliations
  • Guiding philosophies of John Stuart Mill and Emile Durkheim
  • Human’s dual nature, “hive switch,” and “collective effervescence”
  • Football games and religious rituals
  • Belonging is more important than beliefs; belonging is essential to humans
Introduction

In my last post, Our Political Divide –  Part 4: Moral Foundations  – A Path To Understanding, I described six moral foundations that undergird and inform the political affiliations of liberals, conservatives, and libertarians.  Based on the work of Jonathan Haidt, I also outlined the moral matrices of liberals, conservatives, and libertarians, using bar graphs to demonstrate the relative strength of each foundation – a unique profile for each political affiliation.   Part 4 explained what liberals and conservatives really care about.   This post will assume that the reader has some familiarity with the six foundations and perhaps the “Ten Insights from Jonathan Haidt” presented in Political Divide – Part 3: Review and Introduction to the Moral Foundations.*

Why is this Information Important?

Understanding what liberals, conservatives, libertarians, and activated authoritarians care about gives a framework for empathic communication – an opening for conflict de-escalation, problem-solving, reconciliation, and unification of communities in the United States. Stay tuned for my final post in this series, Political Divide, Part 6: Moral Communication — the Way Forward.

Biggest Partisan Difference

Haidt claims that liberals primarily use three foundations – Care/harm, Fairness/cheating, and Liberty/oppression, whereas conservatives utilize all six.  According to Haidt, the foundations of Loyalty/betrayal, Authority/subversion, and Sanctity/degradation are equally salient in conservative morality.   Haidt contends that liberals are ambivalent about Authority, Loyalty, and Sanctity.  He says this is the most significant partisan difference between liberals and conservatives.

Democrats – Listen Up

Twelve years ago, Haidt warned Democrats about “deficiencies” in their moral framing to the American electorate.  It bears repeating and considering.

Close the Sacredness Gap

Democrats, he said, must find a way “to close the sacredness gap” between themselves and Republicans.  Haidt references sociologist Emile Durkheim in recognizing that sacredness is about society and its collective concerns.  These concerns are embedded in the Loyalty, Authority, and Sanctity foundations.  Democrats could close much of the sacredness gap, Haidt says, if they saw society not as a collection of individuals but as an entity in itself.

Why Do Working Class and Rural Americans Vote Republican?

Voters do not vote for their self-interests; they vote for their values. Working-class and rural Americans don’t want their nation to devote itself primarily to the care of victims and the pursuit of social justice, asserts Haidt. Until Democrats understand the difference between a six-foundation and three-foundation morality, they will not understand what makes people vote Republican.

“Out of Many, One” – It’s Complicated

Our national motto is e pluribus unum – “Out of many, one.”  But political scientist Robert Putnum (Bowling Alone) found that ethnic diversity (in the short run), increased alienation and social isolation by decreasing people’s sense of belonging to a shared community.  People tend to “hunker down,” he says.  Trust (even of one’s own race) is lower, altruism and community cooperation decline.

Difficulty Binding the Many – the Problem with E Pluribus Unum

Haidt says liberals have difficulty binding pluribus (the many individuals) into unum (the one, collective, in-group.)  He says Democrats pursue policies for the many at the expense of the one.

Don’t Weaken the Collective

In 2008, Haidt suggested that diversity programs to fight racism and discrimination might be better served by encouraging assimilation and a sense of shared identity.  He asserted that progressive policies of multiculturalism, bilingualism, and immigration demonstrate that Democrats care more about pluribus than unum.  They weaken the integrity of the collective; they widen the sacredness gap. These ideas of Putnam and Haidt might be hard to take in the current era of liberal “wokeness.”  And Haidt might revise this advice in 2021.  But, perhaps Democrats should revisit and reflect on this critique.

The “Many” In-group

Conservatives are more concerned than liberals about group cohesion as sustained by their most prized morality foundations:  Loyalty/betrayal, Authority/subversion, and Sanctity/degradation.  Conservatives are worried about the many (individuals) as long as it is their in-group and not an out-group, whereas liberals are concerned about everyone, inside the group and outside the group.

Moderate Doses of the Loyalty Foundation

The Loyalty foundation supports a kind of patriotism and self-sacrifice that can lead to dangerous nationalism.  But in moderate doses, it can lead to a sense that “we are all one” —  a recipe for high social capital and civic well-being, according to Haidt.

More from Haidt:  Liberal Messaging of Sanctity

The Christian Right uses the Sanctity/degradation foundation to condemn hedonism and sexual “deviance.”   Haidt acknowledges (however meekly) that the Sanctity foundation can, and should, be harnessed for progressive causes.  Sanctity does not have to come from God.  Liberals could do a better job of reframing the ugliness of un-restrained free markets as a moral issue.  Environmental and animal welfare could be “messaged” as issues of Sanctity, not just appeals to the Care foundation.

“Soft On Crime” is a Disqualification

Democrats will have the most difficulty using the Authority foundation, according to Haidt.  This foundation is about maintaining social order, so any candidate seen as “soft on crime” will disqualify himself or herself for many Americans.  Haidt says Democrats should consider the quasi-religious importance of the criminal justice system.  A party perceived to tolerate cheaters and slackers will be committing a kind of blasphemy.

“Defund Police” Violates Conservative Sacred Value

Politicians and pundits are debating the influence of the slogan “defund the police” on the down-ballot races in the November 2020 election.  (“Defund the police” was first used in May 2020 during the George Floyd, Black Lives Matter protests.)  Many prominent Democrats (e.g., Barack Obama, Jim Clyburn, Cory Booker, and Joe Biden) opposed using the term and articulated policies for police reform and reallocation of police resources.  Most observers suspect that “defund the police” turned-off moderate voters and hurt the electoral chances of Democrats.

A Stupid Campaign Slogan

Ibram Kendi recently claimed in the Atlantic (December 3, “Stop Scapegoating Progressives”) that we don’t know if “defund the police” hurt Democrats, while also sharing polling data that sixty-four percent of Americans were opposed to it.  Political scientist, Bernard Grofman, wrote that “defund the police is the second stupidest campaign slogan any Democrat has uttered in the twenty-first century” (second only to Hillary Clinton’s 2016 comment that half of Trump’s supporters belong in a “basket of deplorables,” which was not used as a campaign slogan).

Unity vs. Justice – The Moral Foundation Divide

An interviewer recently asked Abigail Spanberger (newly re-elected moderate Democrat in Virginia) and Ayanna Pressley (re-elected progressive Democrat in Massachusetts) the advisability of promoting “defund the police.”  Both did a pivot and would not address the inaccuracy and political toxicity of that message.  But Pressley framed the Democratic allegiance to Care/harm and Fairness/cheating foundations as distinct from the conservative Loyalty foundation.  She told the interviewer, “it [the issue of Black Lives Matter and defund the police] is not about unity; it is about justice.”  It could not have been more clearly illustrated: unity is a conservative sacred value, justice is a liberal sacred value.

Messaging Lessons Learned

There are six insights related to “defund-the-police” messaging:

  1. Repeating a message dramatically influences perception and cognition.
  2. The Black Lives Matter movement has used messages that are politically inadvisable and not descriptive of policies.
  3. Democrat representatives will avoid talking about this slogan directly; it is an undiscussable.
  4. Republicans will coopt whatever message increases the political divide and will vilify and lie about the reality of Democrat positions.
  5. “Defunding the police” violates the sacred value of the Authority foundation held by conservatives and many other Americans.
  6. Unity vs. justice is an unavoidable interdependent polarity that illustrates our political divide and the complexity of e pluribus unum.**
Guard the Coherent Whole of a Young Nation

Haidt recognizes that “democrats would lose their souls if they ever abandoned their commitment to social justice, but the divisive struggle among the parts must be balanced by a clear and often repeated commitment to guarding the coherence of the whole.”  Haidt reminds us that America lacks the long history, small size, and ethnic homogeneity that holds many other nations together.  So our flag, founding fathers, military, and common language take on a moral importance that many liberals have difficulty comprehending.  (That said, disputing a legitimate election is a dramatic threat to the “coherent whole” of America and its relatively young democracy.)

Structure Restrains In the Service of Liberation

Conservatives believe that people need external structures or constraints to behave well, cooperate, and thrive.  These external constraints include laws, institutions, customs, traditions, nations, and religions. Given twenty years of experience in group process design, facilitation, and agenda development, I concur entirely.  The structure of an agenda (co-developed with the group leader or entire group) frames the order and effectiveness of problem-solving and helps people stay on-task and on-topic.  Without a cogent, planned agenda and strong facilitation, groups flounder and spin their wheels in time-wasting chaos. Organizational development consultants and artists of all types understand that restraints and boundaries “at the edges” promote creativity instead of impeding it.

Blind Spots Around Freedom

Peter Ditto is a research colleague of Haidt’s who studies “hot cognition” – the interface between passion and reason.  He says both conservatives and liberals have a blind spot around freedom.  As mentioned in my last post, conservatives push for economic freedom but not freedom for things they think are morally wrong, like gay marriage or abortions.  Liberals show precisely the opposite: they are comfortable with freedom regarding sexual behavior, and less so in economic behavior.

My Disagreements with Haidt:
  • Haidt underestimates liberals’ connection to Sanctity/degradation foundation (e.g., food and environment).
  • Haidt overestimates the conservative expression of the Care/harm foundation and does not fully acknowledge that conservatives do not prioritize it. We see the Republican deficit in Care/harm clearly expressed in their recent Covid-19 relief proposals:  no direct cash given to vulnerable Americans but liability protections given to corporations. (This changed in the final bill.)
  • Haidt underplays the force of money as a self-interest for conservatives. Conservatives’ in-group loyalty is most vital with those of higher socio-economic status —  conservative/Republicans at the top of the hierarchy.  Haidt appears to underestimate, or not clearly articulate, the power of monied interests in the conservative/Republican tribe.
  • Haidt seems to claim that when Republicans vote for their economic interests, it is from a Fairness-proportionality foundation and not from trying to protect their privileged (self-interested) hierarchical position. It is undoubtedly both.  Conservatives are worried about the perceived lack of proportionality related to programs and taxes that serve the lower class, but not the absence of proportionality of the middle and lower classes compared to the upper socio-economic class.  The salary disparities between CEOs and line workers are ignored or rationalized as necessary.  There seems to be a blind spot for conservatives within the Fairness foundation.  According to recent federal data, the top 1% of Americans hold 30.4% of all household wealth in the US, while the bottom 50% hold just 1.9% of all wealth.  Is it proportionate for the 50 most affluent American families to own as much wealth as the poorest 165 million? (Bloomberg Wealth, October 8, 2020).
  • Haidt asserts that “everyone goes blind with sacred objects.” While this point has merit for understanding human cognitive processing, Haidt’s exposition on this point succumbs to a bit of false equivalency (which he could not have foreseen at the time of the book’s release.)  Democrats are not as blind to science, reason, and common sense as QAnon right-wing extremists and a significant portion of the Republican base.  Donald Trump lied to the American people approximately 30,000 times and broke many American norms of civility and stewardship for an American President.
  • Haidt made an immense contribution with Moral Foundation Theory but overcorrected in his politically correct message to liberals, who, he knows, will actually listen to reasoning. This (rational) appeal to liberals illustrates a perceived difference between a liberal and a conservative, disproving the very argument of equivalency (“everyone is blind”) Haidt seems to be making.
What is Moral Capital?

Haidt defines moral capital as “the resources that sustain a moral community — values, norms, practices, identities, institutions, and technologies that mesh well with evolved psychological mechanisms and thereby enable the community to suppress or regulate selfishness and make cooperation possible.”

“Moral Capital” Can Be Good or Destructive

Moral capital, says Haidt, is “not always an unalloyed good.”  It leads to the suppression of free riders, but it does not lead automatically to other forms of fairness, such as equal opportunity.   And while high moral capital helps a community to function efficiently, the community can use that efficiency to inflict harm on other communities.  High moral capital can be obtained within a cult or a fascist nation, as long as people accept the prevailing moral matrix.

Conservative Failures

Conservatives, says Haidt, do a better job of preserving moral capital but often fail to notice certain classes of victims, fail to limit the predation of powerful interests, and fail to see the need to change or upgrade institutions.  Conservativism may be used to maintain cultural cohesion, but the conservative moral matrix potentially includes violence, subjugation, and inequity in the development of social hierarchies and nation-states.

Liberals Change Things Too quickly

Haidt’s “tough-love letter” to liberals reminds them that if they do not consider the effects of changes on moral capital, they are asking for trouble.  Haidt believes this is the fundamental blind spot of the Left.  It explains, he says, why liberal reforms backfire and why communist revolutions end up in despotism.  Haidt acknowledges that liberalism has done a lot to bring about freedom and equal opportunity but asserts that liberalism is not a sufficient governing philosophy.  It tends to overreach, change too many things too quickly, and “reduce the stock of moral capital inadvertently.”

But Liberals Should Restrain Corporations and Regulate

Haidt says that liberals make two points that are profoundly important for the health of a society: 1) governments can and should restrain corporate superorganisms, and 2) some big problems really can be solved by regulation.

Yin and Yang of Our Political Landscape

A party of order or stability and a party of progress or reform are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life.”

~John Stuart Mill

Our democracy and psycho-social well-being need both a liberal and conservative framework. Like yin and yang, both are necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. Liberals are better able to see the victims of existing social arrangements as they push to update those arrangements and invent new ones. Conservatives sustain the institutions that bind and preserve a community.    “I see liberalism and conservatism as opposing principles that work well when in balance,” says Haidt.  “Authority needs be to both upheld and challenged.  It’s a basic design principle.  You get better responsiveness if you have two systems pushing against each other.”

Two Approaches for Living in Peace

There are two approaches to having unrelated people create a society where they live together in peace – two philosophies that undergird liberals and conservatives, respectively: prevent harm to others and be loyal to the group.

1. Prevent Harm To Others

Renowned British philosopher, John Stuart Mill, wrote (in On Liberty), “the only purpose for which power can be exercised over any member of a civilized community against his will is to prevent harm to others.”  Mill’s ideas about governing a society of autonomous individuals essentially describe the liberal Care/harm foundation and the libertarian Liberty/oppression foundation.

2. Preserve the Family – Be Loyal To the Group

Emile Durkheim had a different vision from Mill.  The basic social unit is not the individual, it is the hierarchically structured family, which serves as a model for other institutions.  (See George Lakoff’s Strict Father Family Model in Part 2.)  Individuals are born into strong constraining relationships that profoundly limit their autonomy.  A Durkheimian society values self-control over self-expression, duty over rights, and loyalty to one’s group over concerns for out-groups.  A Durkheim world, says Haidt, can be unusually hierarchical, punitive, and religious.

In-group versus Out-group, Again

Mill’s liberal vision would allow care for out-groups. Durkheim’s conservative vision would not;  loyalty and authority are given only to the in-group.  The modern-day conservative vision is focused heavily on in-group hierarchy, which allows the expression of economic self-interest, perhaps sometimes masquerading as Mill’s individualism.  Folks at the top of the hierarchy often revere the individualism of economic self-interest.**

Self-interest vs. the Common Good

Modern-day liberals see the community, the common good, as an extension of the family, whereas modern-day conservatives in America promote individual rights and self-interest over community rights.  Conservatives advocate for individual liberty in economic and social policy in opposition to the “common good” for the larger community of diverse groups.**

The Miracle of E Pluribus Unum

Haidt says that if your moral matrix rests entirely on the Care and Fairness foundations, then it is hard to hear the sacred overtones in America’s unofficial motto: E pluribus unum (“out of  many, one”).  Haidt says that the process of converting pluribus (diverse people) into unum (a nation) is a miracle that occurs in every country on earth.  Nations decline or divide when they stop performing that miracle.

Human Nature, Belief, and Belonging

We are 90% Chimp and 10% Bee

Humans have a dual nature  — we are selfish primates who also long to be part of something larger and nobler than ourselves. We are 90% chimp and 10% bee.  We have the ability under special conditions to transcend self-interest and lose ourselves, temporarily and ecstatically, in something larger than ourselves.  This ability is the “hive switch” — an adaptation for making groups more cohesive and therefore more successful in competition with other groups.

Collective Effervescence

Durkheim calls this inter-social sentiment “collective effervescence” — the passion and ecstasy generated by group rituals.  These collective emotions pull humans fully, but temporarily, into the realm of the sacred where the self disappears and collective interests predominate.  “The very act of congregating is a potent stimulant.   Once individuals gather together, a sort of electricity is generated from their closeness and quickly launches them to an extraordinary height of exaltation.”   (I have witnessed this in a Christian mega-church and a Christian evangelical black church.  In both, the music was a powerful trigger.)

Football and Religion

Durkheim saw the function of religious rituals as the creation of community.  The college  (or pro) football game is a superb analogy for religion.  Football games flip the hive switch and make people feel, for a few hours, that they are simply part of a whole.  The ball movement and the plays are like the content or beliefs of religion – they are important details, but not the emotional reason for the game.

New Atheists

The New Atheist model of religious psychology came as a response to the attacks on 9/11 and was led by Sam Harris’ End of Faith, Richard Dawkin’s The God Delusion, and Daniel Dennett’s Breaking the Spell: Religion as a Natural Phenomenon.  For these authors, beliefs were crucial for understanding the psychology of religion.  Believing a falsehood, they said, makes religious people do harmful  things — “believing” causes “doing.”

Belief is Not the Social Facts

The focus on belief is not unique to the New Atheists.  It is familiar to psychologists, biologists, and other natural scientists.  Sociologists, anthropologists, and scholars in religious studies have a different view.  They are more skilled at thinking about what Durkheim called “social facts.”

Trying to understand the persistence and passion of religion by studying beliefs about God is like trying to understand the persistence and passion of college football by studying the movement of the ball.

Bottom line:  Belonging is More Important than Beliefs

Durkheim sees “belonging,” “believing,” and “doing” as three complementary yet distinct aspects of religiosity.  But belonging is the key; belonging informs belief and action. The function of beliefs and practices is ultimately to create a community. Belonging was palpable in my experience of the Christian churches and even more so in a Jewish congregation with my then-girlfriend, Maureen.

belonging, believing, and doing graphic
Belonging Is the Opposite of “Hunkering Down”

Belonging is an antidote to the alienation described by Robert Putnam.  No one wants to bowl alone.  Belonging is the opposite of “hunkering down.”  Belonging (paradoxically) drives liberal identity politics.  All colors of the rainbow look for their own rainbow coalition.  Individual “snowflakes” actually want to feel connected to similar snowflakes more than they want to be so different that they are alone.  Belonging drives our social media obsessions and increases the psychological risk of “fitting in” during early adolescence, especially for girls.

Belonging is Fundamental to Homo Sapiens

Belonging drives our religious experience and our political affiliations.   The white race is now shrinking in proportion to the entire US population.  Some want to belong to it more stridently than ever.   Belonging to a group and family is fundamental for human beings.  Belonging is part of our evolutionary DNA.  If a hunter got banished from the tribe, he died alone on the savannah.  Individual strands of rope will shred and break.  But the collective strands of rope can get into a nasty knot.  Yes, “out of many, one” is complicated.

Notes

*Ten Insights of Jonathan Haidt from Part 3

1. Intuitions come first, reasoning second.

2. There is more to morality than harm and fairness.

3. Pluralism is not relativism.

4. Morality binds and blinds.

5. We have a “hive switch.”

6. We are not as divided in politics as the moral dualists would have you believe (pre-Trump).

7. We are deeply intuitive creatures.

8. It is hard to connect with those who live in different moral matrices.

9. Look for commonalities.

10. Some things are sacred to others as some things are sacred to you.

**Self-interest vs. The Common Good: E Pluribus Unum is Complicated

e pluribus unum table

In my last post, I explained the apparent paradox of the human predilection for both hierarchy and egalitarianism.   I presented evidence that we are primarily structured for hierarchy but have been egalitarian in our evolutionary past.  In a parallel way, we see that humans are mostly driven by self-interest and in-group interests.  But if triggered, humans can be more inclusive and share an experience of “the hive” —  an experience of the larger collective.  Moral Foundation Theory research has found that liberals are more prone to include the entire hive in their moral calculations.  But clarity about individualism or self-interest vs. the interest of the “common good” of the larger community can be tricky within Haidt’s Moral Foundation Theory.

Venn Diagram of Liberals

If we were to imagine a two-circle Venn diagram of the liberal consideration of in-group and out-group, we would see a large overlap of the two circles.  The in-group would reach further into the circle of “others” (out-group) and the intersection in the middle would be a large area of cooperation and experience of the collective “hive”.

Liberals are often associated (the “me-generation,” et. al) with the idea of individualism.  As presented in modern-day identity politics, there are “snowflakes” of every type. This is “the many” (pluribus) individuals that include the rainbow of human diversity, the “people of difference” who are more outside the mainstream.  The liberal Venn diagram displays more xenophilia and less xenophobia.  In this framing, “the many” is the common good — the community that includes a multitude of unique individual self-interests.

Venn Diagram of Conservatives

The Venn diagram circles for conservatives look much different.  The in-group and the out-group circles do not overlap at all.  There is a xenophobic space between them.  Here’s the tricky part:  Conservatives have allegiance for the in-group as expressed by their Loyalty and Authority foundations.  Their sacred value is “the one” (unum) nation that overrides the individual interests of “the many.”  But the conservative in-group is structured by hierarchy.  And the hierarchy promotes the self-interest of those holding rank and status at the top.  It is also clear that their in-group is above the out-group – a further expression of hierarchy predicted by evolutionary history.  Within the conservative in-group, there can be moments of dissolution of self-interest that produce cooperation for the “hive” through religion and political cultism.

Structured for Hierarchy Wins the Day

In practice, conservatives promote the interests of the one, sacred in-group, and liberals promote cultural individualism and individual justice for the many.  The human predisposition to be “structured for hierarchy” wins the day in contemporary American democracy.  Conservatives promote the self-interest of those with social-economic power and status and liberals promote the “common good” – human rights and justice of those lower on the socio-economic hierarchy.

Paradox of Power

As a final wrinkle, UC Berkeley psychologist Dacher Keltner argues (The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence) that we rise in a social hierarchy and gain power and reputation by positively influencing the lives of others (unless you were born rich).  But once humans gain power, they become much less relational and empathic.  “We rise in power and make a difference in the world due to what is best about human nature, but we fall from power due to what is worst,” says Keltner.   His research ultimately supports John Dalberg-Acton’s oft quoted insight that “power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

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Our Political Divide – Part 4: Moral Foundations – A Path to Understanding

Our Political Divide – Part 4: Moral Foundations – A Path to Understanding

Liberals want dogs that are gentle and relate to owners as equals; conservatives want dogs that are loyal and obedient.  ~ Jonathan Haidt and Jesse Graham (study)

In previous posts, I identified differences between liberals and conservatives on several psychological dimensions, including social domination orientation and male-female evolutionary “affinity” (aggregate tendencies).  I also profiled a significant group of Americans with authoritarian tendencies attached to the Republican party who have some conservative characteristics in the extreme.  Most importantly, I introduced the Moral Foundation Theory of Jonathan Haidt in preparation for an in-depth analysis of the six moral foundations in this post. 

What do Liberals and Conservatives Really Care About?

Moral Foundation Theory adds remarkable insight to our evolutionary and psychological understanding of political affiliation and answers the central question in this series:  What do liberals and conservatives really care about?   Furthermore, how can either side understand the other and bridge this blue-red divide?  I will save that discussion for an upcoming post, Moral Communication – The Way Forward.

Listen for the Sacred

Another framing of the central question is this: what does each side of the political divide hold as sacred?  What are their beliefs that are not subject to persuasion or argument at all?  There is an evolutionary basis for most, if not, all moral positions.  Each moral stance signals a human adaptation that had utility for thousands of years and retains resonance in modern times.  When we listen for what is sacred, we might find a possible “field of empathy” in which to acknowledge and inquire: “I see what is important to you, will you please tell me more?” (More on “listening for the sacred” in Moral Communication – The Way Forward).

The Righteous Mind – Where the Sacred is Found

Developed by acclaimed author and psychologist Jonathan Haidt (The Righteous Mind), Moral Foundation Theory endorses the concept from evolutionary psychology that the human mind is constructed of “modules.”  This cognitive architecture is malleable in response to various cultural and social factors, yet is systematically organized as crafted by natural selection.   Haidt demonstrates that human moralizing is driven more by intuitive processing than conscious deliberations and rational faculties.

The Six Moral Foundations

Haidt’s research has named six moral foundations that are “innate” (inextricably shaped) in the human experience: Care/harm, Fairness/cheating, Loyalty/betrayal, Authority/subversion, Sanctity/degradation, and Liberty/oppression.   Haidt claims that liberals primarily use three foundations – Care/harm, Fairness/cheating, and Liberty/oppression, whereas conservatives utilize all six.    Haidt tells us that moral psychology is not just about how we treat one another but also about binding groups together, supporting essential institutions, and living in a sanctified and noble way.

1. Care/harm Foundation

We are a species that thrives when it keeps its young around for a long time and protects them. The Care/harm foundation evolved in response to the adaptive challenge of caring for vulnerable children.  It is related to our long evolution as mammals with attachment systems and the ability to feel (and dislike) the pain of others.  It makes us sensitive to signs of suffering and need; it makes us despise cruelty and want to care for those who are hurting.   It underlies virtues of kindness, gentleness, and nurturance.

Liberals in America rest heavily on the Care foundation in their feelings about people, animals, and victims they do not know directly. For conservatives, care is more often for those who have sacrificed for the group; it is not universalist.  It is more local and blended with loyalty.

2. Fairness/cheating Foundation

Cooperation — Not Exploitation

Altruism toward non-kin presented one of the longest-running puzzles in the history of evolutionary thinking.   Then Robert Trivers gave us the theory of reciprocal altruism in 1971 and explained the benefit of cooperation and social exchange among non-kin.  The Fairness/cheating foundation evolved in response to the adaptive challenge of reaping the rewards of cooperation without getting exploited by free riders.   It makes us sensitive to indications that another person is likely to be a good (or bad) partner for collaboration and exchange.  The Fairness/cheating foundation makes us want to shun and punish cheaters. It generates ideas of justice, rights, and autonomy.

Tit for Tat

We are a species that evolved to form beneficial alliances – to know what is “fair” for various members of a group trying to stick together.  Hunters worked together to bring down prey they could not catch alone.  Humans evolved a set of moral emotions that make us play “tit for tat” — emotions that can foster fairness: guilt, shame, revenge, responsibility, generosity, and gratitude.   A strategy of “tit for tat” reaped more benefits than a strategy of  “help anyone who needs it” (inviting exploitation) or a strategy of “take, but do not give” (which can work only once).

Two Kinds of Fairness

Everyone cares about fairness, but there are two kinds.  For liberals, fairness often implies equality and social justice; liberals accuse the wealthy of exploiting people at the bottom and not paying their fair share of taxes.

For conservatives, fairness means proportionality – people should be rewarded in proportion to what they contribute, even if that guarantees unequal outcomes.  Conservatives see Democrats as socialists who take money from hardworking Americans and give it to lazy people and illegal immigrants.  Years ago, a Tea Party bumper sticker captured one version of proportionality with these words: “Spread my work ethic, not my wealth.”

Reciprocal Altruism is Not the Entire Story

Reciprocal altruism fails to explain why people cooperate in group activities. Reciprocity works great for pairs of people who play tit for tat, but in groups, it is usually not in a person’s self-interest to be the enforcer—to be the one who punishes slackers.  But punishment, says Haidt, turns out to be one of the keys to large-scale cooperation.  Egalitarianism seems to be more rooted in the hatred of domination and concern for victims than in the love of equality and desire for reciprocity (see Liberty foundation below).

Moral Communities

Cultures developed systems of justice to formalize what each group member is due to keep the group together.  “Moral” communities are maintained (in this framework) by gossip and punishment – driven by the desire to protect communities from cheaters, slackers, and free riders who might cause society to unravel.

3. Loyalty/betrayal Foundation

For millions of years, our ancestors faced the adaptive challenge of forming and maintaining coalitions that could fend off attacks from rival groups.  The Loyalty/betrayal foundation is related to our long history as tribal creatures.  We survived as a species due to loyalty.  We are the descendants of successful tribalists.  This foundation underlies the virtues of patriotism and self-sacrifice for the group.

We Are Groupish

When Haidt says that human nature is also groupish, he means that our minds contain various mental mechanisms that make us adept at promoting our group’s interest in competition with other groups.  We have developed emotions and thinking patterns that help us defend an in-group (people of a similar race, political affiliation, religion, etc.) and reject the out-group.

Origins of Prejudice

The most remarkable of these thinking patterns is prejudice.  Our brains quickly size up others as “like me” or “not-like-me.”   We take shortcuts to categorize others and assess them as friends or foes.

Heroism or Betrayal

Protecting the in-group takes a particular personality structure,  perhaps one with courage and aggression.  Predictably, we have developed cultural notions like loyalty and heroism on one side and betrayal or treason on the other.

The Sex/Gender Dynamic

“The male mind appears to be innately tribal,” says Haidt,  “that is, structured in advance of experience, so that boys and men enjoy doing the sort of things that lead to group cohesion and success in conflicts between groups, including warfare.”  Haidt and Hector Garcia ( Sex, Power and Partisanship) are of one mind on this. “The virtue of loyalty,” Haidt continues, “matters a great deal to both sexes, though the objects of loyalty tend to be teams and coalitions for boys and two-person relationships for girls.”

Matters of Faith

The Koran is full of warnings about the duplicity of out-group members, particularly Jews.  But far worse than a Jew is an apostate – a Muslim who has betrayed or simply abandoned his faith.  In the Inferno, Dante reserves the innermost circle of hell and the most excruciating suffering for the crime of treason.   Far worse than lust, gluttony, violence, or even heresy, is the betrayal of one’s family, team, or nation.

Political Affiliation and Hyperbole

Haidt observes that the Left tends toward universalism and away from nationalism and has trouble connecting to voters who rely on the Loyalty foundation.  Ann Coulter’s goal was to highlight that in her book, Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism (2003).

4. Authority/subversion Foundation

The Authority/subversion foundation evolved from our primate history of hierarchical social interactions in response to the adaptive challenge of forging relationships that benefit us within those hierarchies.

Sensitivity to Rank

This foundation makes us sensitive to signs of rank or status and evidence that other people are (or are not) behaving properly, given their position.  It underlies virtues of leadership and followership, including deference to legitimate authority and respect for traditions. When exaggerated and combined with the Loyalty/betrayal foundation, this foundation can display in an authoritarian personality.

Looking In Two Directions

Authority-ranking relationships are more complex than relationships in the other foundations because they must look in two directions – up toward superiors and down toward subordinates.  We are descendants of individuals who were able to rise in status while cultivating the protection of those in charge.

Survival in Social Hierarchy

While it is true that hunter-gather societies had an egalitarian impulse (see Liberty/oppression foundation below), humans primarily survived because of a developed sense of social hierarchy.  Monkeys, bees, and other species show similar organizational patterns.  These species coordinate thinking and action through a leader like an alpha male, a queen bee, or a Napoleon.  In support of our “fluid functioning hierarchies” (Haidt), we have developed emotions like pride in leadership, awe for power, and respect for others.

Authorities as Parent

Drawing on his fieldwork in Africa, anthropologist Alan Fisk identified the Authority/subversion foundation.  Fisk discovered that authority-ranking relationships “are based on perceptions of legitimate asymmetries, not coercive power; they are not inherently exploitative.”   Authorities take on responsibility for maintaining order and justice.  Fiske showed that people inside these social relationships have expectations more like those of a parent and child than those of a dictator and fearful underlings.  This parent-child dynamic is reminiscent of George Lakoff’s (Moral Politics) “strict father family” model described in Root of Our Political Divide – Part 2.

Triggers for Conservatives

If authority is (in part) about protecting order and fending off chaos, then everyone has a stake in supporting the existing order and in holding people accountable for fulfilling the obligations of their station. Triggers for conservatives include any act of disobedience, disrespect, or rebellion against authorities perceived as legitimate.  Conservatives will generally oppose actions perceived to subvert the traditions, institutions, or values that provide stability.  As with the Loyalty foundation, it is much easier for the political Right to build on the authority foundation than it is for the Left, which often defines itself by its opposition to hierarchy, inequality, and power.

5. Sanctity/degradation Foundation

You Are What You Don’t Eat

Most animals are born knowing what to eat.  However, humans had to learn what to eat as omnivores – seeking out new foods while remaining wary of them until they were proven safe.  Humans learned to sort from inedible dead things about the same time we developed a large frontal cortex.   Evolutionary psychologists and anthropologists say those two developments coincided with the evolution of the human emotion of disgust.

Disgusting Emotion

The psychology of disgust and contamination shaped the Sanctity/degradation foundation.  It evolved initially in response to the adaptive challenge of the “omnivore’s dilemma” and then to the broader challenge of living in a world of pathogens and parasites.

Disgust helped shape cultures.  We developed the incest taboo, a dislike for the sight and smell of feces and vomit, and a distaste for deformity and disease.  Cultures established systems that extended disgust to other body issues, often embracing racial and sexual purity while rejecting non-normative lifestyles, unusual eating patterns, and atypical sexual activity.

Religious Notions

The Sanctity/degradation foundation includes the “behavioral” immune system, which can make us wary of a diverse array of symbolic objects and threats.  It causes people to invest in objects with irrational and extreme values (both positive and negative) that are important for binding groups together.  The Sanctity foundation underlies religious notions of striving to live in an elevated, less carnal, and more noble way.  It underlies the widespread idea that the body is a temple which can be desecrated by immoral activities and contaminants spread by physical touch or proximity.

Triggers for Liberals and Conservatives

Triggers of this foundation are extremely variable and expandable across cultures and eras.  For example, present-day American conservatives are more blasé about Covid-19; their allegiance (Loyalty and Authority foundations) to a political tribe overrides their fear of pathogens.

Liberals score higher on “neophilia” (an attraction to new things and openness to experience)  and conservatives score higher on neophobia (a fear of new things), preferring to stick to what’s tried and true, guarding borders, boundaries, and traditions.  These preferences have their origin in this foundation.

Follow the Sacred

The Sanctity/degradation foundation links to whatever is considered sacred.  The psychology of “sacredness” helps bind individuals into moral communities.  American conservatives are more likely to talk about the “sanctity of life” and the “sanctity of marriage.”  Liberals express Sanctity (purity) by their interest in natural foods, the environmental movement, and concern for the degradation of nature by industrialism and capitalism.

6. Liberty/oppression Foundation

The Liberty/oppression foundation evolved in response to the adaptive challenge of living in small groups and generates feelings of resentment and reaction against people who dominate and restrict others’ liberty.   Its intuitions are often in tension with those of the Authority foundation.  The hatred of bullies and dominators motivates people to come together in solidarity to take down the oppressor.

Egalitarian Hunter-Gatherers

The archeological evidence supports the view that our ancestors lived for hundreds of thousands of years in tribes of nomadic hunter-gatherers who were egalitarian – they had norms of sharing resources.   Therefore, Haidt asks an essential question: are our minds “structured in advance of experience” for hierarchy or equality?

Structured for Hierarchy

Anthropologist Christopher Boehm studied tribal cultures and chimpanzees (Hierarchy in the Forest, 1999) and gave us an answer.  Boehm says we were structured for hierarchy —  humans and chimps are similar in displays of dominance and submission.  Alpha male chimps were not really leaders of their groups.  They are better described as bullies.

The Morality of Gossip

During the thousands of years of hunter-gathering, the Liberty/oppression foundation’s moral sensibilities were etched in the human brain as a module of adaptation.  Once early humans (pre-agriculture) developed spears, anyone could kill a bullying alpha male. Boehm says our ancestors created the first moral communities about 500,000 years ago, after the advent of language.  With language, humans could gossip and unite to shame, ostracize, or kill anyone whose behavior threatened or simply annoyed the rest of the group.

Fragile State

The result is a fragile state of political egalitarianism achieved by creatures innately predisposed to hierarchical arrangements.  Boehm called this “self-domestication.”  Our ancestors began to “breed” for the ability to construct shared moral matrices and live cooperatively within them.   With the development of agriculture, domestication of animals, and staying in place, humans began to create hierarchical social structures — status, rank, and ownership unleashed latent hierarchical tendencies with a vengeance.*

Freedom Fighters Everywhere

The Liberty foundation supports the moral matrix of revolutionaries and freedom fighters everywhere.  We find hatred of oppression on both sides of the political spectrum.  This foundation supports egalitarianism and anti-authoritarianism of the Left as well as the “don’t-tread-on-me and give-me-liberty anti-government anger of libertarians and some conservatives.

The Three Moral Matrices

Hundreds of people completed the Moral Foundations Questionnaire developed by Jonathan Haidt and Jesse Graham available on YourMorals.org.  Those results produced scores on five moral foundations for liberals and conservatives. After additional research on the sixth foundation, Liberty/oppression, Haidt described the moral matrices of liberals, conservatives, and libertarians and depicted them in three separate illustrations in The Righteous Mind.  Below is my adaptation of Haidt’s moral matrix summaries and a new rendering (bar graphs) of the foundations for each political orientation.  Bar graphs demonstrate default settings of each foundation like dials on a stereo tuner; slight adjustments of strength are activated depending upon the interpersonal context and triggering event.

1. Liberal Moral Matrix

Haidt says liberals have a three-foundation morality: Care/harm, Liberty/oppression, and Fairness/cheating. Liberals apply all three foundations in the service of underdogs, victims, and vulnerable groups everywhere. Much research shows that liberals are more disturbed by signs of violence and suffering compared to conservatives and especially compared to libertarians.

Equality Supersedes Proportionality

All three foundations of the liberal moral matrix support the ideals of social justice.  Liberals sacralize care for victims of oppression and equality (fairness).  Liberals are often willing to trade away the concept of fairness as proportionality when it conflicts with compassion or their desire to fight oppression.  Liberals are suspicious of appeals to loyalty, authority, and some conservative concepts of sanctity.  Liberals “sanctify life” by caring for the vulnerable, addressing climate change, preserving animal species, and advocating for the purity of food.

2. Conservative Moral Matrix

Conservatives use all six moral foundations equally, according to Haidt.**   He asserts that conservatives’ broader moral matrix allows them to detect threats to “moral capital” (resources that sustain a moral community) that liberals do not perceive. Haidt admits that conservatives are more willing than liberals to sacrifice Care and let some people get hurt to achieve their moral objectives.  The most sacred conservative value is to preserve the institutions and traditions that sustain a moral community.

Libertarian Lite

American conservatives also sacralize the word liberty (the right to be left alone), but not to the degree espoused by libertarians.  Conservatives do not sacralize equality; they rely on the Fairness foundation once fairness is restricted to what is deemed proportional.   The Liberty/oppression foundation and the hatred of tyranny support the tenets of economic conservatism. 

Virtues of the In-group

Conservatives are more parochial; they are more concerned about their groups rather than all of humanity.  Again, Haidt calls this the groupish adaptation of human nature.   Conservatives believe (although rarely stated) that we need groups to develop our virtues even though those groups will necessarily exclude nonmembers. 

3. Libertarian Moral Matrix

Libertarians are basically liberals who love markets and lack bleeding hearts. ~ Will Wilkinson, Cato Institute

Libertarian Personality

I contend that if you lack a bleeding heart, you are not like a liberal.  But research from YourMorals.org found that libertarians look more like liberals than conservatives on most measures of personality.  They score higher than conservatives on “openness to experience” and lower than conservatives on disgust sensitivity and conscientiousness. 

Not Like Liberals or Conservatives

Libertarians joined liberals in scoring low on the Loyalty, Authority, and Sanctity foundations. They diverge from liberals sharply (as noted above) on the measures of the Care foundation, where they score very low – even lower than conservatives.  

Republican Liberty

Libertarians also diverge from liberals with extremely high scores on measures of economic liberty.  People with libertarian ideals have generally supported the Republican party since the 1930s because libertarians and Republicans have a common enemy: the liberal welfare society they believe is destroying America’s liberty (for libertarians) and moral fiber (for social conservatives).  Libertarians care about liberty almost to the exclusion of all other concerns – that is their sacred value.  

Conclusion and Preview of Next Posts

This post deepened our understanding of the six moral foundations and how they undergird and inform the political affiliations of liberals, conservatives, and libertarians.  In my next post (December 22), I will share Haidt’s message (constructive criticism) to Democrats and a few of my disagreements with Haidt’s portrayal of the liberal and conservative moral matrices.  I will cite the potential dangers of “moral capital” and briefly outline two philosophical approaches to a healthy society.  That will be a prelude to a crucial idea: our democracy (and perhaps our psycho-social well-being) needs both a liberal and conservative framework — a recognition of the “yin and yang” interdependency of our political affiliations.  On January 5, I will conclude this series on our political divide with Moral Communication – The Way Forward.

 

Notes

*It may be confusing to unpack the human predilection for both hierarchy and egalitarianism. If we consider an evolutionary sequence of time, we start with being “structured for hierarchy” as primates and hominids;  then egalitarian norms were practiced when humans were hunter-gatherers.  These “moral communities” understood that cheaters and dominators must be stopped. Lastly, we see the expansion of non-nomadic human populations with agriculture, food storage, ownership, and the power of status and rank.  Then, being “structured for hierarchy” was unveiled for full expression and utility.  Our modern-day mate-selection psychology (intersexual competition and intrasexual selection) is drawn primarily from this period beginning 10,000 years ago.

**Conservatives scored 3.1-3.3 on a 5-point scale for all foundations; liberals scored 3.7 on Care/harm and Fairness/cheating.  I confess to some skepticism about conservatives’ equal application (and prioritization) of the Care/harm foundation based upon Haidt’s supporting narrative and my own bias.  I reflect my bias in the reduced height of Care/harm on the bar graph.

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Political Divide – Part 3: Review and Introduction to Moral Foundations

Political Divide – Part 3: Review and Introduction to Moral Foundations

I have striven not to laugh at human actions, not to weep at them, not to hate them, but to understand them ~ Baruch Spinoza, Tractatus Politicus, 1676

Below is a summary/review of key ideas from Parts 1 and 2 of this series that come (mostly) from research compiled by Hector Garcia in Sex, Power and Partisanship, How Evolutionary Science Makes Sense of Our Political Divide (2019).  As with the chart on male-female evolutionary affinity in the Appendix, I am highlighting aggregate, research-driven observations that do not describe a particular individual or attempt to explicate the continuum of human behavior.

The Meaning of Righteousness

This post also introduces the tenets of Jonathan Haidt’s moral foundations theory in preparation for a deep dive in my next post.  Drawing from Haidt’s brilliant book (The Righteous Mind), I will outline the moral foundations of liberals, conservatives, and libertarians.  Stay tuned for that in Straight Talk Tuesday on December 8.

Review of Key Ideas from Parts 1 and 2

Let’s revisit some important ideas from Evolutionary Science and Our Political Divide: The Root of  It – Part 1 and Root of Our Political Divide – Part 2: Post-Trump Authoritarianism.

Male-centric and Female-centric Strategies
  • Conservatism is a male-centric strategy shaped by the struggle for dominance in mate competitions, while liberalism is a female-centric strategy derived from the protracted demands of rearing human offspring.
Daddy vs. Mommy
  • Liberals (essentially Democrats) represent the “mommy” party (coined by Chris Mathews) with a focus on our health and welfare, including Social Security and Medicare.
  • Conservatives (essentially Republicans) represent the “daddy” party with a focus on economic security and national defense. Conservative moral values arise from what George Lakoff (Moral Politics), calls the “strict father family” model.
Freedom Has At least Two Meanings
  • Conservatives promote individual freedom (within constraints of group norms) and self-reliance, primarily defined as freedom from government.
  • Liberals promote fairness, equality and freedom from injustices. The root of liberalism is the effort to rein in dominant males to prevent them from monopolizing resources that impinge upon the evolutionary fitness of those with less power.
Personality Matters
  • Liberalism is characterized (on the Big Five Personality Scale) by an openness to experience (xenophilia).
  • Conservatives show more conscientiousness (preference for order and control) and a preference for more “closed” cognitive systems as measured on the Big Five Personality Scale. Conservatives score more highly than liberals on measures of following rules, traditionalism, and dedication to the existing way of doing things.
In-group vs. Out-group is Damn Near the Entire Ball Game
  • Conservatives have a strong preference for in-group members and show more ethnocentrism and xenophobia (fear of outsiders) than liberals. Xenophobia helped our ancestors avoid diseases from outsiders.  Because ancestral men could not leave their group for fear of death, xenophobia towards outsiders and dominance over other groups was evolutionarily sensible. (See Haidt insight #5 below.)
Conservatives are More Disgusted by Pathogens and Sexual “Stuff”
  • Conservatives have more “disgust” sensitivity than do liberals. They show more fear of pathogens and disapproval of “nonnormative” sexual behaviors.
Women and Liberals Are More Empathic
  • Women and liberals show more empathy than men and conservatives. Less empathy among men had evolutionary “fitness” benefits.
  • Women and liberals are more concerned with fairness and turn-taking than conservatives.
Conservatives Have a Dominance and Masculine Orientation
  • Conservatives are more comfortable with social hierarchies and score higher on the Social Dominance Orientation scale than do liberals.
  • Conservatism is correlated with masculinity, physical stature, and spatial abilities used to survive a harsh ancestral environment.
Conservatives are Triggered More by Threat
  • Conservatives (especially men) may exhibit authoritarian personality traits when triggered by “threats” from outsiders and the experience of economic displacement.
Six Moral Foundations

In the next (and last) post in this series,  I will explain the moral foundations theory of Jonathan Haidt.   Haidt uncovers the sources of belief that “create” liberals and conservatives and reveal why folks identify with, and vote for, Democrats or Republicans.  Haidt has named six moral foundations central to the human experience: care/harm, fairness/cheating, loyalty/betrayal, authority/subversion, sanctity/degradation, and liberty/oppression.   Haidt claims that liberals primarily use three foundations – care/harm, fairness/cheating, and liberty/oppression, whereas conservatives utilize all six.  Haidt’s moral foundations are signified on the “first cause” chart in the Appendix becuause they adhere to male versus female evolutionary polarity.

Instinctual Legitimacy of Both Sides

Haidt tells us that moral psychology is not just about how we treat one another, it is also about binding groups together, supporting essential institutions and living in a sanctified and noble way.  Moral foundations theory provides very important insights about the instinctual legitimacy on each side of the political divide.

How to Engage is Not Based on Reason

In my next post (December 8), I will also share thoughts about how we might engage each other in a way that allows more understanding, compassion, and acceptance.  As you will witness, neither the content nor the process of unification is based on reason or facts.  For now, as preparation for details about the moral foundations, let’s reflect on ten insights from Haidt’s research (adapted from Creative Conflict Wisdom’s Blog, 2012).  Keep these in mind for holiday conversations; I will give more practical tips on December 8.

Ten Insights from Jonathan Haidt

“Your mother and I are separating because I want what’s best for the country and your mother doesn’t.” ~ Cartoon caption from The Righteous Mind, p 318

1. Intuitions come first, strategic reasoning second.

The “Elephant” (our automatic self-righteous pattern recognition) directs the “Rider” (our rational conscious brain) much of the time, and in conflict, makes us invent (retroactively) rationalizations for our positions, without much account of our real interests, let alone the interests of the other side.

2. There’s more to morality than harm and fairness.

Much of the world adds loyalty, authority, sanctity, and liberty to their moral sensibilities (moral foundations). The spectrum of moral foundations is broader in non-Western societies (and among conservatives).

3. Pluralism is not relativism.

There is a plurality of ideals, but they are finite.  “Everything doesn’t go,” but we can understand other ideals even when we don’t share them.

4. Morality binds and blinds.

We are products of multi-level selection and in tension between our selfish and groupish tendencies.  Religion helps create ever larger moral communities. Our moral frameworks create group cohesion but also blind spots about how the frameworks operate inside us.

5. We have a “hive switch.”

We have a capacity to transcend self-interest, like bees acting in unison for the hive. But, we are predominantly structured for hierarchy with in-group versus out-group psychological mechanisms. (The “entire ball game” above.)

6. We are not as divided in politics as moral dualists (Manichaeans) would have you believe.

Some people are “good” and some are not, but our minds are designed for groupish righteousness that makes those distinctions suspect.

7. We are deeply intuitive creatures.

Our gut feelings drive our strategic reasoning.

8. It is hard to connect with those who live in different moral matrices.

But it is not impossible to connect with another person if you acknowledge and understand their moral foundations.

9. Look for commonality.

Before wading into morally-based arguments, establish some trust, show some interest, and listen for what you have in common.

10. Some things are sacred to others as some things are sacred to you.

Don’t try to “bargain” as if the sacred is not part of the equation.  Jerusalem is not for sale by Jews, Israelis, Muslims, or Christians, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find some way out of that conflict.   Consider the conflicts about wearing a mask and following Donald Trump – even that evokes the sacred.  (With a nod to #3 above — not “everything goes.”)  As Haidt says, “We are all stuck here for a while, so let’s try to work it out.” 

Appendix

Nature provides a first draft, which experience then revises; built-in does not mean unmalleable; it means organized in advance of experience. ~ Gary Marcus, neuroscientist

The chart below is a meta-theoretical understanding of male and female evolutionary tendencies and captures many insights from Parts 1 and 2 of this blog series.

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