Unpacking the Barbie Apotheosis – Which Complaints Hold Up Under Scrutiny?

Unpacking the Barbie Apotheosis – Which Complaints Hold Up Under Scrutiny?

by | Aug 20, 2023 | Gender Politics, Men's Issues, Relationship Issues, Women's Issues

“It is literally impossible to be a woman.”
~ Gloria, Mattel Executive

 

One moment in Barbie has become a rallying cry for women. Across social media, women have said the speech given by America Ferrera’s character, Gloria (a Mattel executive), perfectly articulates the silent expectations and challenges they face under patriarchy. After the monologue concluded, applause and howls erupted from my Austin audience and reportedly from audiences around the country.

Ferrera told Vanity Fair that the scene took two days and between 30 to 50 takes. Obviously, director Greta Gerwig wanted to get this right. This speech may be her apotheosis – the main message of the movie. (See full text of the speech in Appendix below.)

Gloria’s rant appears to have no satirical intent (unlike much of the movie). Gerwig is playing it straight. She believes these complaints, expectations, and double binds are true for women and are primarily imposed or entirely imposed by men or the patriarchy – even if, it seems, other women are also involved in creating or upholding them. (A double bind is a situation where you are damned if you do, damned if you don’t, and usually damned if you talk about it.)

Set Up for the “Impossibility of Being a Woman” Speech

After Barbie returns to Barbieland with Gloria and her daughter Sasha, she is devasted to find the Kens have taken over and (somehow) brainwashed the rest of the Barbies. Barbie sobs, telling Gloria that she feels she’ll never be good enough. Gloria then launches into a monologue outlining the contradictions and challenges suffered by womanhood.

Gloria’s Real-Life Struggles?

There is no depiction of Gloria’s real-life struggles in the movie. Does she have problems with discrimination at work? Abuse by her husband? Pay discrepancy? Marriage problems? Her sadness is the root of Barbie’s sadness, yet what is the source of her sadness? What are the transgressions of the patriarchy — the actual examples of her subjugation specifically? We get none of that. We know Gloria has a parent-daughter issue. Gerwig said in one interview that Barbie is mostly a film about a mother-daughter conflict. (Gerwig said many different things, as does the movie.)

Twelve “Complaints” by Women in Barbie

1. Body shape and being thin

“You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin.”

Women carry the burden of needing to be physically attractive to be desired as a mate. Physical features signal fertility: waist-to-hip ratio, lower back curvature, and facial and body symmetry. “Thin” generally means a waist-to-hip ratio of around .7 or .8. If a woman has a large waist and belly fat, she would not be considered sexually desirable because she would be perceived as less fertile. Women have babies; men do not. Fertility matters for women in the science of attraction. This is the basic biology of sexual reproduction. (Stereotypical Barbie was definitely thin; “curvy” Barbie, introduced in 2016, was heavier but still had close to a .7 waist-to-hip ratio.)

But Is There a Double Bind?

How many men say to women, “please be thin, but not too thin?” How often do men commonly rebuke women for saying they want to be thin? Hmm. I am skeptical about the frequency of this.

Thinness is a definite requirement (burden) for women and a possible double bind.

2. Need to have money but never ask for money

“You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that is crass.”

Going to have to call “poppycock” on this one. Do young women feel they have to have money to be attractive to men? Relative to men, women do not have to have money to be desired. Almost never. In fact, this is an insult to men because of the strong expectation for men to have resources to be datable or marriageable. I am surprised that this was written into the speech. This is not a requirement for women.

Asking for money is considered crass by anyone and everyone. Is it a special burden for women? Well, if they are very reliant on a man for their economic survival, then asking for money can be a burden. More necessary than crass.

Both parts of this complaint seem invalid, but “having to have money” does not comport with heterosexual mating and sexual psychology or with dating survey data.

3. Leadership 1 and 2

#1: “You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean.”

This is the most legitimate of the double binds listed. I wrote a blog post on this: Double Binds for Women in Leadership.” I noted the case of Carol Moseley-Braun, comments about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and especially the case of Hillary Clinton. I cited a Pew Research Center study of 2017 on the biases women face, additional research on gender stereotypes, and the “three predicaments” identified by Catalyst, an organization that supports “workplaces that work for women.”

#2: “You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas.”

This is not really a double bind regarding intelligent leadership (you can and should lead without “squashing”), and it also applies to male leaders. But, going along with the above double bind about meanness, women are probably given less leeway to squash other people’s ideas than men. Men probably can get away with this autocratic style more than women.

4. Motherhood

“You have to be a loving mother but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time.”

Yes, we expect mothers to be loving. No doubt. But who is telling women not to talk about their kids? Men or male partners? Bosses at work? Other women? Other mothers? Other couples or mixed company in social settings?

Is this really a double bind? Isn’t it easy to demonstrate that you are a loving mother without talking about (bragging about) your kids all the time?

5. Be a career person but always look out for other people

“You have to be a career woman, but always be looking out for other people.”

Who or what is putting on this pressure on women to have a career other than the economic reality of being a single breadwinner and head of a household? Most American families need dual incomes to survive. But who is saying that you must have a career? Men? The “patriarchy?” Or just the reality of needing enough income to pay the bills. The “richness” of this so-called unfair expectation is that men REALLY DO have to have a career or a decent job to be considered upright and acceptable.

Working after Work

The second part of this complaint is “always look out for other people.” If “looking out for other people” means that working women must care for their children and also “keep the home afloat” (even though they work 40 or more hours a week), then this is a legitimate complaint. Men generally do not do 50% of the work around the house or equal caretaking of children. Thus, working women have a “second job” when they get home. (But, it is unclear this is what is meant in the speech.)

6. Men’s bad behavior

“You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining.”

This one needs examples. What is the bad behavior, and what does the “answering” look like? Who is pressuring women to do this “answering?” To whom are women answering?

This sounds like a valid part of a woman’s experience. Still, the general public of men, (the holders of the patriarchy) may need some direct feedback and behavioral coaching to correct this. We need to hear these stories/examples. And who is accusing you of complaining? The aforementioned men who behaved badly?

The possibility of a double bind exists with this complaint (with perhaps overtones of gaslighting in extreme cases), but it needs more detail.

7. Being pretty (by itself) and being pretty related to sisterhood

“You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you are supposed to be part of the sisterhood.”

Yes, men want you to be pretty, especially if you are their girlfriend or wife. But “not so pretty?” Perhaps that means — be attractive to me as my partner, but somehow don’t be attractive to other men. Ok, that is a double bind. And if you tempt men who belong to other women, you are not a good “sister.” Fair enough. That is part of the same double bind, although women engage in intrasexual competition and attempt to poach the men of other women.

The Core Belief of the Barbie Apotheosis – the System is Rigged Against Women

8. Acknowledge that the system is rigged, but always be grateful.

“But never forget that the system is rigged. So, find a way to acknowledge that but always be grateful.”

What is meant by the system being rigged? How is the system rigged? Is it an amalgam of patriarchal oppression signified by the aggregate wage gap or the percentages of women in the upper echelon of government and corporations?

Aggregate Wage Gap and Women in C-Suites Do Not Prove Rigging

“Patriarchy” in feminist theory (and in “Barbie) is often associated with the idea of inordinate male power fueled by a malicious intent to hold women down using outright discrimination. But the aggregate wage gap and the percentages of women in government and corporate executive suites do not prove discrimination. That sacred trope of left-feminist politics does not reflect the evidence from economic research. It is a misreading of women’s choices related to academic disciplines, career tracts, and preference to have and raise children. (A complete discussion of this is beyond the scope of this post.)

A Zombie Lie

Bill Maher called Barbie a “zombie lie” in its depiction of patriarchy and a “rigged” system. A zombie lie is a lie that never was true, but certain people refused to stop saying it; or it is something that used to be true but no longer is, even though some people pretend it is still valid. (Like trickle-down economics or an aggregate wage gap caused by discrimination.)

Maher went on to say that “the real Mattel board is pretty close to a mirror of the country where 45% of the 449 board seats filled last year in Fortune 500 companies were women.” Barbie depicts the Mattel board as all men. In reality, it has seven men and five women.

Women Are Part of the System

Barbie seems to believe that there is a patriarchal system that holds down the empowerment and advancement of women and that they have no causal relationship to that system; it’s rigged, and women are not involved or responsible for how the system is constructed. From a perspective of mate selection science, women collude with men and are causal to men running things at the top — because women want to mate with those men.

The Dream Gap and Achievement Gap

This idea of the system being rigged against women ignores the dramatic advantage in achievement (the achievement gap) that girls and women currently have over boys and men in academia and in the careers of millennials and Gen Z Americans. Forbes reported in 2020 that the law reviews of the top 16 law schools in the US all had a female editor-in-chief. That is 16 out of 16!

At my movie theatre in south Austin, a pre-movie ad advocated for closing the “dream gap” for girls. But it is boys who need support in their dreams and achievement in 2023 America. The girls are doing much better than the boys right now. If you want more girls in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics), fine. Give them that dream. But they will have to have a natural inclination and want it.

Mattel Has Been in the Girl-Dream Business from the Very Beginning

Mattel has given Barbie 200 different careers since 1959 – including surgeon, dentist, math teacher, judge, architect, aircraft engineer, astronaut, astrophysicist, chemist, microbiologist, robotics engineer, business executive, space scientist, and US President. It is not foolish to say that Barbie has done more than its part to “unrig” the patriarchal system. Barbie was nearly a feminist icon before she found the big screen.

Here is What Rigging Actually Looks Like

If Gerwig had said the following about a rigged system, she would have been correct:

– American corporate culture is rigged against women by not providing paid leave for childbirth, provisions for childcare, and flexible work scheduling. (It is also rigged against men by not allowing paid paternity leave.)

– American capitalism, tax laws, and consumer credit are rigged to advantage the rich and disadvantage the poor and middle class.

– U.S. federal government is run primarily by men who protect the rich, although these men were elected by women as well.

– Presidential political primaries and our electoral college system can rig outcomes against the will of the simple majority.

– American judicial system and legal representation are rigged in favor of the monied class.

– Insurance, drug, and hospital corporations rig American health care to its detriment.

Who is to Blame for the Rigging of Profit Over People?

Is all this “rigging” a patriarchal plot? Perhaps. It is primarily men who make the federal laws and the governing rules inside corporations.

Maybe the corporate capitalistic culture in America is rigged against women because of the lack of a social safety net for the family — like the systems in the social democracies of Europe. Who is to blame for that? Just men? Who is to blame for rigging the American system to value profit over people? Just men? Well maybe. But I don’t think that is made clear by Gerwig. I don’t believe that is what she means by saying the system is rigged. We do not know precisely what she means by rigging the system. Gerwig’s movie is deft with satire and replete with internal contradictions.

Pressure to Acknowledge and Be Grateful?

Assuming that women believe the system is rigged against them, why must they acknowledge that, as asserted in the apotheosis speech? Who is pressuring them to acknowledge that? What is the political motivation for that pressure?

And women are expected to be grateful no matter what? Who says that? Perhaps some men do. But most men in today’s environment do not say that women should be grateful – that has zombie lie written all over it.

9. Never get old, show off, be rude, or selfish, or get out of line

“You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish…… never get out of line.”

Never getting old probably relates to the need to be (stay) pretty, as in #7 above. It is a legitimate “pressure” given the need to attract and keep men as mates.

Never be rude, show off, be selfish, or get out of line, relates to #3 above, the double bind of women as leaders. That is a real double bind. The question is how forceful and pervasive is the request to “never be” (fill in the blank) and who is doing the asking. Is it coming from men?

10. Never fall down, fail, or show fear

“You have to never fall down, never fail, never show fear.”

This expectation feels entirely self-imposed. It totally makes sense for men and the expectations for virile masculinity (what is called the “man box.”) This expectation of men is so pervasive (and women impose this, directly or indirectly) that it feels ironic (and thus irritating) as a complaint from women. Men do not, as a rule, need their women to never fall down, never fail, or never show fear. Those qualities may be great, even attractive, but they do not contribute much to the male desire of women sexually or as partners. If anything, men want the opportunity to catch a woman when she falls . . . men need to be useful and want to do that. This “Barbie” complaint is self-imposed by women on women.

11. You are doing everything wrong. It is all your fault.

“And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.”

Who is saying this to women? In what context? “Everything?” “All?” This assertion needs clarification and evidence. This complaint also seems quite ironic if you consider just how pervasive the memes are that men are toxic, useless, stupid, and unnecessary. Those messages about men are everywhere in print, on the internet, and in many cultural art forms (television shows, commercials, and movies). I would submit that men, not women, are getting the message that “it is all your fault.”

Is it possible that Gerwig is engaging in satirical speech? Or is she shooting it straight with female-centric self-loathing? Women may indeed feel this. (Actually, I suspect they do.) But don’t make it part of the feminist position paper inside this movie unless you put some “meat on the bones” with examples or wink at the audience so they know this is presented tongue-in-cheek.

12. Never being appreciated for all of this

“Nobody gives you a medal or says thank you!”

This is a human failing on both sides of the gender divide. But it is worth noting that Mother’s Day is considered somewhat more important in the United States than Father’s Day as measured by gifting behavior and survey responses.

Conclusion

Women have legit complaints about the need to be pretty, the lack of permission to be angry and mean as a female leader and having to do more than their share of household management. Many of the apotheosis complaints and double binds also exist for men. In fact, the double binds about never failing, and never showing fear are almost exclusively a problem for men and not women. Most importantly, the system is rigged by both men and women to value profit over people and rich over poor — not men over women. Women and girls in 2023 are doing better than men and boys by a significant margin. Barbie perpetuates a “zombie lie” – but the fun is just starting. Stay tuned for my next post about the movie Barbie.

*Apotheosis: the highest point of development of something, the culmination or climax

Appendix: Full text of Gloria’s Apotheosis Monologue

“It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we’re always doing it wrong. You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that is crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You have to be a loving mother but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you are supposed to be part of the sisterhood. But always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So, find a way to acknowledge that, but always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It is too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault. I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.” (In another part of the movie Gloria also says that women must “always stand out.”)

Author’s Note:

Another Barbie post is coming! I will discuss issues of gender, patriarchy, degree of man-hating (misandry) and Barbieland as an apartheid state, male fragility, male and female sexuality, mate selection and reproduction in the real world vs. Barbieland, and much more.

 

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Synergy of Beauty, Youth, and Erotic-Economic Exchange – the Sex Work Studies

Synergy of Beauty, Youth, and Erotic-Economic Exchange – the Sex Work Studies

by | Jul 16, 2023 | Biological Difference, Dating & Mating Economy, Gender Politics, Men's Issues, Relationship Issues, Sexuality, Women's Issues

Author’s Note:

This post has been sitting in my queue for months. I withheld it for fear of being perceived as insensitive to the plight of young women, especially economically-disadvantaged women in the third world who are coerced and abused. However, this post is not about those women.

I fell prey to my own avoidance and denial of “undiscussable” content. That lack of candor is not in keeping with the mission of Mating Straight Talk. I decided to release this post about sex work because it is based on credible economic research and underscores critical issues about the evolutionary dynamics of mate and sexual selection.

I am not endorsing prostitution, especially for women under the age of 18. Based on the study appearing in Evolution and Human Behavior, I assume that Indonesian authorities (more or less) monitor the safety and informed consent of their regulated sex worker industry.

Prostitution is indeed the oldest profession, but modern-day sex work is ubiquitous and comes in many different manifestations, as described below.

Preference for Younger Women – the Prostitute Studies

My last post about Chris Rock* provided research that explained why men are attracted to younger women. Pretty obvious stuff — based on evolutionary biology. In compiling that information, I ran across studies about the age of prostitutes and their earnings, and also a little nugget about why older women disapprove of sex work (I will start there). I have no salacious interest, moral judgments, or personal experience with sex workers, but find the topic fascinating, primarily in its revelations about the complexities of female sexual psychology. But female sexual psychology is not the main focus of this post except as it relates to a service agreement: sex (or “comfort”) provided to men willing to pay for it.

Motivations of Men in the Context of Barter and Trade

The pertinent psychological spotlight here is more about the motivations of men. This post is primarily an addendum to prove further the point of men’s intractable, mainly hard-wired attraction to young fertile women. But, I will also provide brief commentary on sex for barter and trade from the book, Why Women Have Sex, which directly comports with three truths delivered by Chris Rock about sexual selection. I will revisit those truths and examine the direct and indirect manifestations of sex work and how female sexuality is a fungible asset.
*Chris Rock’s Selective Outrage – The Truth of Sexual Selection and Preference for Younger Women

Disapproval of Sex Work and Age-Discrepant Couples

Yael Sela at Oakland University did a study with 430 men and women to determine why men and women might condemn age-discrepant couples. She found a unique variable. Older women’s condemnation of relationships between older men and younger women was partly explained by their greater disapproval of sex work. Younger women expressed less disapproval of prostitution. Sex work was correctly perceived as an exchange-based relationship – money for sex, inspiring more moral outrage from older women than from younger women.

Prostitute’s Age and Earnings Research

As I reported in a prior post** (proving that the male sex drive is more robust than a woman’s), men pay for sex – not women. The professions of prostitution, escort, and other forms of sex work are almost exclusively a business where women provide the service and men pay for that service. **Biological Differences – Part 5.2: Aggression, Risk-Taking, and Sex Drive

The Price of Younger Prostitutes

A study published (2016) in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, examined the link between a prostitute’s age and the price she charges. Economist Kitae Sohn used prostitutes’ earnings to address a much broader scientific question that applies not only to paid sexual exchanges, but to everyday concerns: what does the opposite sex actually find attractive in a partner?

Universal Biological Constraints on Mate Choice

The age women and men desire in a mate is important because it addresses interesting questions about the relative importance of universal biological constraints on human mate choice. In particular, biological theorists expect that men’s uniform attraction to women should be altered because female fertility peaks in early adulthood, drops from 25 to 45, and goes to zero after age 50. Hence male teenagers and their grandfathers may be similarly desirous of women in their early 20s. However, each may have difficulty attracting a woman of that age for different reasons.

“Revealed Preference” for Choice of Prostitutes

By examining what men are willing to pay for sex, Sohn provided a new “window” into the issue of fertility and attraction. Men have a restrained choice in whom they marry or date, but they do get to choose whether or not to pay a prostitute for sex, and the amount they are willing to pay reveals something about what they most prefer. Economists call this “revealed preferences,” assuming that the amount we are willing to pay for any commodity gives a good index of how much we value it.

Prostitutes of Indonesia

Sohn’s sample included 8,560 prostitutes from 15 different cities in Indonesia. As Sohn notes, Indonesia provides an ideal place to examine this issue because prostitution is “quasi-legal” and tacitly supported by the government, which keeps official records on prostitutes’ income alongside incomes from other professions.

Prostitutes Aged 35-40 Earn Much Less

When hiring the short-term services of a prostitute, men pay the most for women between their late teens and early twenties. Between the ages of 25 and 35, the price men are willing to pay for a prostitute drops significantly.

An Equation Related to Prostitute’s Earnings

Sohn provided an exact equation related to age and a prostitute’s earnings.
For each increase of a year in age, a prostitute’s hourly wage decreases by 4.5 percent. Sohn found that prostitutes between the ages of 35 and 40 earned 52.8 percent less per hour than women under 20.

Evolution Predicts Similar Results in Other Countries

Although this data comes only from Indonesia, Sohn argues that: “evolution influenced all humans, so we expect that future research will find similar results in other countries.” Evolutionary psychologist Douglas Kenrick supports Sohn’s argument and asserts that age preferences found in this research are consistent with findings from other methods in other societies worldwide.

Sex Work Manifestations and Sexual Selection

The Synergy of Beauty, Youthfulness, and Erotic-Economic Exchange

In my post about Chris Rock’s Selective Outrage, I said that Rock told the truth about three things related to sexual selection:

  1. There is a collusion between men and women related to sex and money – i.e., the “erotic-economic bargain” is the underbelly of sexual selection (with ancient and modern forms) that includes sexual access granted in exchange for provision and protection – calculations of mate value for mate selection.
  2. Female beauty provides immense power and particular privileges.
  3. Men have a powerful and evolutionarily sensible sexual attraction to young women.

In that previous post, I outlined studies and data sets that illustrate the ubiquitous nature of men’s attraction to young women. Now I have described research that shows that younger prostitutes are valued more by their clients than prostitutes above the age of 25. Obviously, there is a direct synergy between youthfulness, beauty (as a signal of fertility), and the economic “bargain” afforded a woman because of male sexual attraction.

“Sex-Work” Has Direct and Indirect Manifestations

The “sex industry” has many manifestations. There is a robust and diversified market created by the supply of men desirous of (in demand for) young beautiful women who will pay for the opportunity to be with them. Researchers define prostitution in two broad categories, “direct” and “indirect.” Direct prostitution includes everything from the brothel or street women in Indonesia to exclusive and expensive “escorts” in major cities worldwide. “Indirect” prostitution (sexual favors for money in some form) includes lap dancing in strip clubs, massage parlor services, internet modeling (e.g., Onlyfans), and chat lines, to name a few. The possibilities are nearly endless.

One “Possibility” — Men Want to Be Cuddled

Liz Plank in For the Love of Men says that men need intimacy (a point that seems correct and inarguable***) by citing the booming “cuddle industry,” where “someone meets up with you and will nuzzle you for a set amount of time for a set amount of money.” As Plank explains, “most of the clients seeking out this service aren’t ladies; they’re straight men in their fifties.” Yikes, Liz, of course, the clients are men in their fifties! These men are desperate for female attention and touch. They are willing to pay for that! (***All humans seek cuddling as a return to the mother-child attachment bond.)

Is Cuddling Indirect Sex Work?

Maybe cuddling is an indirect form of “sex work.” The absence of intercourse or other overt sexual activities is irrelevant to the central male-female sexual dynamic. Straight men are paying for female company, not the warm arms of other men. It may or may not prove the point about the male need for intimacy, but in no way does it prove (as Plank implies) that the male sex drive is subservient to the need for intimacy. It is (I contend) the heterosexual male sex drive that is the driving force underneath the willingness to pay to be cuddled – the emotional connection is an artifact, a bonus. Cuddle contracts just prove that men need female touch, and some men can only get it by swiping their credit cards.

Why Women Have Sex – One Reason Among Many

Let me close by offering the sobering (and revealing) words of researcher and evolutionary biologist Nancy Burley: “Gift giving or even cash payment for sexual intercourse cannot be used as criteria to define prostitution, for these occur in courtship or even marital situations. Since prostitution and courtship exist as a continuum, the vast majority of copulatory opportunities involve costs to males in terms of time and/or material goods.” These thoughts appear in Chapter 8 – “Barter and Trade,” in Why Women Have Sex by David Buss and Cindy Meston. The narrative stories from women in this chapter are stunning in their descriptions of how sex is used to acquire goods and services. However, the motivation to receive something of material value is just one of the many reasons women have sex, according to Buss and Meston.

Female Sexuality and Beauty is a Fungible Asset

Buss and Weston asserted that “these observations, along with an avalanche of other findings, strongly support a basic fact about human economics: women’s sexuality is something that women can bestow or withhold, something that men want and value highly, and consequently, something that women can use to secure resources they desire. Women, in short, have the power [apropos to Rock’s statement in my prior post] in many sexual transactions.” Buss and Weston continue: “Because women’s sexuality is so highly prized, it can be regarded as an asset that economists call fungible — it can be transposed or exchanged for many other kinds of resources” — from a comfy cave with fresh-killed meat to an address in a tony modern neighborhood where (to use Rock’s words) “women wear yoga pants at 12:15 on a Wednesday afternoon.”

References

Harcourt, C. & Donovan, B. “The Many Faces of Sex Work,” Sex Transm Infect, 2005.

Sohn, Katie. “Men’s revealed preferences regarding women’s ages: evidence from prostitution.” Evolution and Human Behavior, Volume, 37, Issue 4, July 2016.

Additional Related Posts

Dynamics in the Mating Economy: Domain #1 of Male-Female Difference
• erotic-economic bargain – the ultimate exchange in the mating economy

Mate Value of High-Income Men: Seeking Arrangements and the Erotic-Economic Bargain
• research by Rosemary Hopcroft: Evolution and Behavior (September 2021)
• research by Catherine Hakim (Univ. of North Carolina) on “erotic capital”

Why Women Have Sex

Science of Attraction and Beauty

Notes about Future Writings
  • I will suggest a new frame for male behavior and character (what I call): the “nice guy – bad boy sweet spot” — how to find “edge” and empathy in the age of consent, and how to provide “edge” and empathy as an “integrated” man in a heterosexual relationship, with forward-looking lessons and understanding for both men and women.
  • I will share an updated version of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs from a prominent evolutionary psychologist – a new pyramid of human motives.
  • I may outline the gender divide in American dating and relationships as revealed in recent surveys and illuminated in a video with Scott Galloway.

 

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Chris Rock’s Selective Outrage: The Truth of Sexual Selection and Preference for Younger Women

Chris Rock’s Selective Outrage: The Truth of Sexual Selection and Preference for Younger Women

by | Mar 24, 2023 | Biological Difference, Dating & Mating Economy, Gender Politics, Men's Issues, Relationship Issues, Sexuality, Women's Issues

Don’t hate the player; hate the game. ~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock was sharply criticized for some of his comedic riffs in his Netflix special Selective Outrage. Speaking to a predominantly Black audience in Baltimore, he delivered incisive observations about the American obsession with attention and being a victim. He joked about the many abortions he paid for and cathartically unleashed his feelings about the infamous slap by Will Smith and the “entanglements” of Smith’s wife, Jada Pinket Smith.

Rock also told the truth about sexual selection, illustrating three points (Chris Rock in red):

1. There is a collusion between men and women about sex and money – the “erotic-economic bargain.”

I have made millions of dollars. And every dime I have made, I have spent on pu..y or pu..y adjacent.

Younger women just want you to buy them shoes, but the 45–50-year-old woman wants a new roof.

I’ve paid more college loans off than Joe Biden!

I want to live in a place where women are voluntarily not working and wear yoga pants in the middle of the afternoon.

You can lose a lot of money chasing women, but you will never lose women by chasing money. (From I Think I Love My Wife.)

2. Female beauty has immense power and privilege.

Nothing more powerful than female beauty. Nothing.

A beautiful woman can stop traffic. There is nothing about a man that can stop traffic.

Beyonce is so fine, that if she worked at Burger King, she could still marry Jay Z. Now if Jay Z worked in a Burger King….

3. Sexual attraction for younger (fertile) women versus older women is a male evolutionary adaptation thousands of years in the making.

I didn’t get rich and stay in shape to talk to Anita Baker. I am trying to f…k Doja Cat.

I am interested in women my age — that is 10-15 years younger.

Important note:

Before I go any further with the studies about age preference, let me assure you (if assurance will make this fact of life more palatable) the average man does not usually pursue the younger women he desires. He is more “interested,” as a practical matter, in women closer to his age. The average man has no relationship with a much younger woman unless it is a paid sex worker, of which there are several versions. (I will address “sex work” in my next post, also related to age.) But what rich and famous men do in practice is another story. More on that below.

Criticism From the Left Prompted This Post

Let me also remind my readers: I am progressive in my worldview of politics, female equality, and social justice. But, I push back against the critique from the Left that denies biological differences between the sexes and vilifies male sexuality in broad terms. It is the criticism of Rock from the liberal media that prompted me to do this post and trot out research evidence — at the risk of beating a dead horse. Otherwise, I would have (perhaps more wisely) left the “Chris Rock thing” alone.

In this post: preference for younger women and age discrepancies:

• Data from OkCupid and Zoosk
• Research from Finland and other cultures
• “Most desired” is not the same as “most interested in”
• Ages of famous movie couples
• “Chris Rock Effect”
• Age differences of 68 celebrity partnerships

Liberal Media Not Happy with Rock

Predictably, there was considerable “selective outrage” of a different kind against Rock from the liberal media. About his attraction to younger women, NPR media critic Eric Deggans called Rock “sexist.” The woman interviewing Deggans on NPR said Rock would be lucky to have Anita Baker. Anita Baker is 65. Chris Rock is 58. Doja Cat is 27, 31 years younger than Rock. See below the age differences between male celebrities and their partners.

Sexual Attraction to Younger Women – Let’s Look at the Data

Most Desirable Age for Men and Women from OKCupid

Christian Rudder, co-founder of OKCupid (and Harvard math major) collected data from millions of users on the website to reveal the ages men and women found “most desirable” in the opposite sex. The data was analyzed for men and women in their 20s up to the age of 50. Rudder displayed the resulting (now infamous) graphs in his book, Dataclysm: Who We Are When We Think No One’s Looking.

Here is what the data revealed:

Heterosexual Men Most Desire a Woman in Her Early 20s

Rudder reported that men in their twenties clicked on pictures of women about two years younger. But men in their 50s clicked on women 25 years younger than themselves.

“No matter how old a man gets, he will be attracted to a woman in her early twenties,” Rudder asserts. Twenty-year-old and forty-nine-year-old heterosexual men cite women aged 20-24 (average age was 20.77) as the most desirable.

Women Are Different

Women preferred someone roughly their own age. Before 30, they’re looking for slightly older men. Throughout her forties, a woman is most attracted to men at around the age of 40. A 50-year-old woman will most like the looks of a 46-year-old man. Forty-year-old men will likely provide “true signals” of achieved status, position, financial resources, and career trajectory.

“If we want to pick the point where a man’s sexual appeal has reached its limit, it’s there: 40,” Rudder explains.

Zoosk Dating App Data

According to data from the dating site and app, Zoosk, which claims 40 million members, 60% of men are attracted to women younger than them, and nearly 56% of women prefer older men.

The Design of Human Reproduction

Data from dating websites is just one piece of a mountain of scientific evidence backing the theory that men almost always prefer younger women for short-term and long-term mating. This preference comports directly to the psychological and physiological design of human reproduction.

Finnish Study Aligns with OkCupid

Results from research conducted (2014) in Finland were directly aligned with OKCupid’s findings and other prior research. Reporting in Evolution and Human Behavior, the study found that men of all ages fantasize about one type of woman: the 20-something female.

Researchers surveyed 12,656 men and women aged 18 to 49 to study age preferences in sexual partners. They asked each participant which age group they were most sexually attracted to during the last 12 months and which age group they engaged in sexual activity with.

Age Preferred by Finish Men and Women

Just as the researchers hypothesized, the results varied by gender. Women tended to be interested in men who were similar in age or slightly older. Specifically, women in their late teens and twenties preferred male partners about four years older, and the age gap preference lessened as women got older.

Again, men tended to be interested in one single age group: women in their mid-twenties, and this held true even in younger men in their late teens or early twenties.

Roots in Evolutionary Biology

Finnish researchers argued (as do hundreds of scientists) that both male and female age preferences have roots in evolutionary biology. They hypothesize that women go for older men due to the “resources” they can offer, including the ability to help with offspring: “Men mature later than women, and in our evolutionary past, raising human offspring to nutritional independence necessitated bi-parental care.”

Men Are Interested in Fertile Women

The researchers also asserted that men’s sexual preference is shaped with offspring in mind; specifically, they are interested (even unconsciously) in women who are fertile.

“The highest fertility has been estimated to occur in the mid-twenties, with a decline after the age of 35,” the researchers explain. “Especially for short-term mating, men show a high interest in fertile women, that is, women in their twenties.”

Sexual Preference for Younger Women is World-wide

Across cultures, men marry women around their own age when they are young, but much younger women if they remarry later in life (Kenrick, 2010; Kenrick & Keefe, 1992). For example, evolutionary psychologist Douglas Kenrick studied the ages of spouses on the Pacific Island of Poro in the Philippines. Young men on Poro married women around their own age. But older men married women almost two decades younger than them (Kenrick & Keefe, 1992).

Marriage Data Across History and Geography

As reported on background by Kenrick, marriage data reflect these preferences in a diverse array of historical and geographical conditions, including North Americans, Brazilians, Moroccans, the Herrero in Africa, and inhabitants of prosperous 17th-century Amsterdam.

Men and Women Seek Different Resources

Like the Finnish researchers, Kenrick suggested that age differences in mating preferences seem to be linked to the fact that women and men seek relatively different resources in their mates. Quoting Kenrick:

“Women around the world and throughout history have placed relatively more emphasis on a man’s social status and ability to provide resources (which tend to increase as the man gets older). Conversely, men tend to seek features associated with fertility, such as a healthy appearance and relative youth (a woman’s fertility is high in her twenties, but declines as she ages).”

More Evidence from the Netherlands

Evolution and Human Behavior (2001): “Age preferences for mates as related to gender, own age, and involvement level.” (Kenrick, et al.)

Kenrick and colleagues also examined the minimum and maximum ages for mates in the Netherlands across five different levels of relationship involvement (marriage, serious relationship, falling in love, casual sex, and sexual fantasies), comparing individuals who were 20, 30, 40, 50, and 60 years old. Consistent with previous findings, women preferred partners of their own age, regardless of the level of relationship involvement. Men, on the other hand, irrespective of their own age, desired mates for short-term mating and for sexual fantasies who were in their reproductive years. However, regarding long-term mates, men preferred mates who, although younger than them, were sometimes above the age of maximum fertility.

Desires Unconstrained in Sexual Fantasies

What would adults ask for if their desires were unconstrained by the marketplace? One way to address this question is to consider sexual fantasies. Sexual fantasies, which do not involve pragmatic constraints, demonstrate the most robust evidence of male sexual attraction towards women in the years of peak fertility, according to Kenrick.

Most Desirable is Not the Same as “Most Interested In.”

The OKCupid study found that men are “most interested in” women closer to their own age. There is an essential distinction between what men desire and how they act. Being “interested” in a woman means someone that a man might pursue with a realistic chance of reciprocity.

Despite older men finding much younger women extremely attractive, men on OKCupid were highly unlikely to message any of these women. Men most often messaged women closer to their own age.

“Matched” with Women 1-3 years Younger on Zoosk

According to Zoosk researchers, “though men are often attracted to women up to 10 years younger than them, the women they match with (the women who like them back) tend to be only 1-3 years younger.” Indeed, according to the 2014 Current Population Survey, the average age difference for heterosexual couples was a man 2.3 years older than a woman.

Assortative Mating – Age and Other Similarities

Research in mate selection by evolutionary psychologists and sociologists confirms that men and women tend to “sort” along the lines of age, background, proximity, education, and relative mate value – a value determined primarily by physical attractiveness for women and wealth and status for men. Physical attractiveness and stature (being “tall, dark, and handsome”) are assets for men but are secondary to their status and resources for female preference in a long-term mate.

A Younger Woman is Mostly “Out of Your League”

Men desire younger women, but the average man knows he can only realistically pursue a much younger woman if he brings great assets to the table. The mating market tends to match people at the level of their “mate value” with such precision that most men and women know not to go completely “out of their league.” Since men do 95% of pursuing, this calculation is made primarily by men. For the average guy, the women he is “interested” in are preset or dictated by the parameters of the sorting process in his mating pool. Most men have received many direct refusals and turndowns. Avoiding more rejections also shapes his perceptions of who he “should” be interested in.

Older Hollywood Actors and Celebrities Paired with Young Women

Phantom Thread was nominated for the 2018 Academy Award for best picture. Daniel Day Lewis’s character is a highly successful dressmaker — wealthy and well-connected to London’s social elite. He has a passionate relationship with a young, beautiful waitress, played by Vickie Krieps.

 

phantom thread movie poster

Daniel Day Lewis is 26 years older than Vicki Krieps. This kind of age spread is not unusual in Hollywood. In the classic romantic movie Casablanca, which won the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1942, Humphrey Bogart was 43, and Ingrid Bergman was 24.

In Gone with the Wind, Clark Gable was 37, and his romantic interest, Vivien Leigh, was 25. People magazine’s cover once asked, “Why are leading actors matched with costars half their age?” The magazine article suggested the possibility that it was because Hollywood directors tend to be older males, who are “trying to relive their youth.”
A look at the research findings on actual mating preferences suggests that normal human preferences drive the Hollywood director’s choices rather than the other way around.

The Chris Rock Effect – In a League of Their Own

Men of great wealth, talent, fame/status, and a modicum of charm, can pursue their preferences for younger women much more readily than the average man. There is no evidence that Chris Rock is actually pursuing Doja Cat, but he has the assets to date a woman who is 31 years younger.

Erotic and Economic Power – the Age of Celebrity

Rich men and beautiful women find each other at the high end of male and female mate value. The erotic-economic bargain is commonly demonstrated by the preference and ability of older men to partner with significantly younger women – women usually in their fertile years at the time of the union. Please take a look at the list below of high-status, celebrity, rich men and their partners. You will see up to 60+ years of an age difference. Money can allow men to “mate down” decades to find beautiful women who will choose to partner with them.

Of course, many of these celebrities have attractive intellectual, physical, and emotional qualities (i.e., their talent), but what they have most importantly is high status and great wealth.

Male Celebrities with Younger Women

Male celebrities with younger women demonstrate evidence of the following:

• the power of fame and money to attract younger women – with relative doses of charm, talent, and physical attractiveness;

• how resources, prestige, and status drive the mating system and female choice;

• how men, given options literally “afforded” them, will naturally pursue the most beautiful women;

• how the resistance against age difference and proclamations of “he is too old” are relative to the degree of fame and money the man possesses.

Age Differences Between Male Celebrities and their Partners

All the men listed below are rich and famous. All the women are beautiful. This is the “economic-erotic bargain” in stark terms.

• Jay Marshall and Anna Nicole Smith, 62 years
• Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris, 60 years
• Dick Van Dyke and Arlene Silver, 46 years
• Mick Jagger and Melanie Hamrick, 43 years
• Robert Duval and Luciana Pedraza, 41 years
• Tony Bennet and Susan Crowe, 40 years
• Patrick Stewart and Sunny Ozell, 38 years
• Rupert Murdoch and Wendy Deng, 38 years
• Charlie Chaplin and Oona O’Neill, 36 years
• Clint Eastwood and Dina Ruiz, 35 years
• Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn, 35 years
• David Foster and Katharine McPhee, 34 years
• Doug Hutchinson and Courtney Stodden, 34 years
• Lee Majors and Faith Noelle Cross, 34 years
• Gary Grant and Dyan Cannon, 33 years
• Dennis Quaid and Santa Auzina, 33 years
• Aristotle Onassis and Jackie Kennedy, 33 years
• Billy Joel and Alexis Roderick, 33 years
• Bing Crosby and Kathryn Grant, 33 years
• David Lynch and Emily Stofle, 32 years
• Billy Joel and Katie Lee, 32 years
• John Cleese and Jennifer Wade, 31 years
• Ronnie Wood and Sally Humphreys, 31 years
• Nicolas Cage and Riko Shibata, 31 years
• Jeff Goldblum and Emilie Livingston, 30 years
• Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow, 30 years
• William Shatner and Elizabeth Anderson, 30 years
• Alan Thicke and Tanya Callau, 28 years
• Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster, 27 years
• Eric Clapton and Melia McEnery, 27 years
• Nelson Mandela and Graca Machel, 27 years
• Larry King and Shawn Southwick, 26 years
• Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Thomas, 26 years
• Bill Murray and Jenny Lewis, 26 years
• Steve Martin and Anne Stringfield, 26 years
• Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall, 26 years
• Dane Cook and Kelsi Taylor, 26 years
• Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, 25 years
• Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, 25 years
• Rod Stewart and Rachel Hunter, 25 years
• Kelsey Grammer and Kayte Walsh, 25 years
• Bruce Willis and Emma Heming, 24 years
• Rene Angelil and Celine Dion, 24 years
• Donald Trump and Melania, 24 years
• Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry, 23 years
• Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, 22 years
• Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart, 22 years
• Sylvester Stallone and Jennifer Flavin, 22 years
• Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner, 22 years
• Carlo Ponti and Sophia Loren, 22 years
• Glen Campbell and Kim Campbell, 21 years
• Floyd Mayweather and Raemarni Ball, 20 years
• Prince Albert of Monaco and Princess Charlene, 20 years
• Warren Beatty and Annette Bening, 19 years
• Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-W., 19 years
• Anthony Hopkins and Stella Arroyave, 19 years
• Eddie Murphy and Paige Butcher, 19 years
• Dominic Purcell and AnnaLynne McCord, 18 years
• Christian Slater and Brittany Lopez, 18 years
• Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky, 18 years
• Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell, 18 years
• Jerry Seinfeld and Jessica Sklar, 17 years
• Oliver Sarkozy and Mary-Kate Olsen, 17 years
• George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin, 17 years
• Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse, 17 years
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, 16 years
• Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates, 16 years

Related Posts

Dynamics in the Mating Economy: Domain #1 of Male-Female Difference
• erotic-economic bargain – the ultimate exchange in the mating economy

Mate Value of High-Income Men: Seeking Arrangements and the Erotic-Economic Bargain
• research by Rosemary Hopcroft: Evolution and Behavior (September 2021)
• research by Catherine Hakim (Univ. of North Carolina) on “erotic capital”

Science of Attraction and Beauty

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Reeves Speaks of Of Boys and Men – Video Summary

Reeves Speaks of Of Boys and Men – Video Summary

by | Mar 19, 2023 | Biological Difference, Gender Politics, Men's Issues

I finished reviewing Richard Reeves‘s book, Of Boys and Men, with the tenth blog post on March 12. But I have been persuaded to allow Richard Reeves to speak directly to you in this video (thanks to Big Think) as a final summary. It is 15 minutes in length — a big ask of your time. If you have enjoyed or been intrigued by this series, Reeves’ words will add depth and “color.” Use the time stamps below to guide your access to his main points. 

Revisit My First Post?

It may also be worth it (good students as you are) to review my initial post (Of Boys and Men – Revisitation of a Crisis in Six Parts) as cliff notes for the subsequent nine posts. See a repeat of the book’s signature quotes below.

Richard Reeves Video by Big Think

Start: — Don’t write this book

1:20: — Reeves introduces himself and Of Boys and Men

1:29: — Three biggest challenges

1:50: — Men in education

2:35: — Girls are ahead in college

3:51: — Male and female brain development

5:17: — Education structured against boys

5:52: — Solutions for education

7:30: — Working-class men — “so busy leaning in, we don’t look down”

7:54: — Men in the workforce

9:20: — STEM and HEAL jobs (psychology potentially an all-female profession)

10:54: — Dad deficit

11:51: — Women’s economic independence – the greatest liberation in human history

12:33: — Male disadvantage becoming intergenerational

13:10: — Deaths of despair

13:36: — Male sense of purpose

13:50: — Last words: men as “worthless” or “useless”

Signature Quotes from Of Boys and Men

  • “It is a bad idea to send a cultural signal to half of the population that there may be something intrinsically wrong with them.” (p. 108)
  • “Masculinity is not a pathology; it is quite literally a fact of life.” (p. 108)
  • “The rather boring truth is that masculine traits are more useful in some contexts and feminine ones in others, and neither set in intrinsically better than the other.” (p. 87)
  • “By far the biggest difference is not how female and male brains develop but when.” (p.11)
  • “For those on the political left, victim-blaming is permitted when it comes to men.” (p. 109)
  • “Many conservatives deny the environmental science of climate change. But many progressives deny the neurosciences of sex differences.” (p. 111)
  • “The real debate is not whether biology matters, but how much it does, and when it does.” (p. 87)
  • “This is the most dangerous message of all: men are naturally different than women, but only in ways that are bad.” (p. 112)
  • “Our estimates imply that the aversion to having the wife earn more than the husband explains 29% of the decline of marriage rate over the last thirty years.” (Marianne Bertrand, p. 37)
  • “The idea of the provider is a major element in the construction of a masculine identity. It is a moral as well as an economic category.” (David Morgan, p. 34)
  • “In sum, women mate horizontally and up (socioeconomically), and men mate horizontally and down.” (Scott Galloway)
  • “In recent years, most of the scientists identifying natural differences have, if anything, tended to stress the superiority of women.” (p. 111)
  • “The dominant narrative of gender equality is framed almost exclusively in terms of the disadvantages of girls and women.” (p. 72)
  • “Given the huge progress made by women in recent decades and the significant challenges now faced by many boys and men, it makes no sense to treat gender inequality as a one-way street.” (p. 115)
  • “Rather than looking in the rear-view mirror, we need to establish a new basis for fatherhood, one that embraces the huge progress we have made toward gender equality.” (p. 38)
  • “Many people on the political Left seem to fear that even acknowledging the problems of boys and men will somehow weaken efforts for women and girls. This is entirely false as a matter of practice and creates a dangerous political dynamic.” (p. 115)
  • “There is certainly very little evidence that women are paid less than men for doing the same work in the same way.” (p.26) Women are paid less because they do different work, or work differently, or both.” (p. 27)
  • “But as long as men continue to be willing to put in long and often unpredictable hours, the prospects for structural reform [in career ladders] remain dim.” (p. 181)
  • “The fact that the highest rungs [of the economic ladder] have male feet all over them is scant comfort for the men at the bottom.” ~ The Economist (p. xi)
  • “Conservatives worried about boys and men need to be concerned about economic inequality. But liberals worried about inequality must pay more attention to boys and men.” (p. 72)
  • “One study showed that a Black man without a criminal record is less likely to be hired than a similarly qualified white man with a criminal record.” (p. 55)
  • “There is simply no way to reduce economic inequality without improving the fortunes of less advantaged boys and men.” (p. 61)
  • “It’s not that gender equality discourages girls from pursuing science. It’s that it allows them not to if they’re not interested.” (Olga Khazan, p. 98)
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Of Boys and Men: STEM Careers, Gender Equality Paradox, and Pay Gap – Part 6

Of Boys and Men: STEM Careers, Gender Equality Paradox, and Pay Gap – Part 6

by | Mar 12, 2023 | Biological Difference, Gender Politics, Men's Issues, Uncategorized

It’s not that gender equality discourages girls from pursuing science. It’s that it allows them not to if they’re not interested. ~ Olga Khazan, Atlantic.

In this final blog post Of Boys and Men, I will discuss three issues that Richard Reeves addresses in his book related to gender or sex differences and the political discourse surrounding them: STEM careers, the “gender-equality paradox,” and the pay gap. Reeves’ analysis of STEM careers adds new insights. His discussion of the “gender-equality paradox” and the pay gap is based on years of prior research. The issues involved in STEM careers, the gender-equality paradox, and the pay gap are interrelated and help us further understand the boy’s and men’s crisis, especially as they reveal aggregate gender preferences.

Should We Expect 50-50 parity in STEM Careers?

There is a strong movement to get more girls into STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math). Women now account for 45% of the life and physical scientists working in the U.S., up from fewer than 20% in 1980. Among engineers, the proportion of women has risen from 4% to 15%. The tech industry has seen much smaller gains in recent decades, with women’s representation stuck at about 25%. Overall, women now account for 27% of workers in these occupations, up from 8% in 1970. [1]

But should we expect 50-50 parity in these jobs?

Men Will More Likely Choose STEM Career Paths

Reeves says we should not expect parity in STEM jobs because, “on average, men are more attracted to things, women to people.” Even under conditions of perfect gender equality, more men than women will likely choose STEM career paths, not because of sexism or socialization but because of fundamental differences in preferences.

Gender-Equality Paradox

In 2018, two researchers, Gijsbert Stoet and David Geary, showed that women in more gender-equal countries like Finland and Norway were less likely to take university courses in STEM subjects. Stoet and Geary called this the “gender-equality paradox.” They speculated that in countries with high incomes and strong welfare states, the economic incentives to pursue STEM careers might be lower, allowing women to choose courses and jobs that more closely match their personal preferences. Stoet and Geary found a similar pattern for sex differences in expected occupations among adolescents in OECD countries. [2].

Greater Opportunity to Express Inherent Biological Differences

Researchers Armin Falk and Johannes Hermle studied sex differences in specific preferences, such as a willingness to take risks, patience, altruism, positive and negative reciprocity, and trust, across a range of countries. They concluded that “a more egalitarian distribution of material and social resources enables women and men to independently express gender-specific preferences.” In another study, researcher Petri Kajonius got a similar result. He speculated:

A possible explanation is that people in more progressive and equal countries have a greater opportunity to express inherent biological differences.

The gender-equality paradox demonstrates that greater sexual freedom and gender equality produce larger, not smaller, psychological sex differences.

American Income Gains Due to Rise in Female Earnings

Reeves reports that forty percent (40%) of women now earn more than the typical man, up from just 13% in 1979. “All the income gains that middle-class American families have experienced since 1970 are due to the rise in women’s earnings.”

Women Account for Over Half of the Managerial Positions in the US

Women account for nearly 52% of all management and professional-level jobs in the U.S. economy. [3] Many previously male-dominated professions, including medicine and financial management, are rapidly tilting female, especially among younger professionals. The proportion of female lawyers has increased tenfold, from 4% in 1980 to 43% in 2020. Most revealing, if not astounding: women are currently in charge of the law review and law journal at ALL top sixteen law schools in US. [4]

Unmarried and Childless Women Under 30 Make More Than Men

The Research Advisor Group found (2010) that unmarried childless women under 30 make 8% more than men of that age group in the largest American cities. The gap in NYC, Los Angeles, and San Diego was 17%, 12%, and 15% respectively. According to recent studies and trends reported by Reeves, these gaps have gotten wider since 2010.

The Pay Gap Evaporates Under Scrutiny

Conservatives point to studies showing that once a range of factors is considered – hours, industry, experience, seniority, and location – the pay gap evaporates. This is supported by research that appeared in the Journal of Economic Literature (2021).

Women Work Different Jobs with Fewer Continuous Hours

To his credit, Reeves quotes the foremost authority on the pay gap, Harvard economist Claudia Goldin. She is never cited or positively viewed by the feminist Left. The factors listed above concern what Goldin calls “occupational segregation” and “temporal inflexibility.” This means the aggregate pay gap of 82% for women across the economy is caused by women working in different jobs and not as many continuous hours.

Reeves says, “there is certainly very little evidence that women are paid less than men for doing the same work in the same way.” He continues:

Women are paid less because they do different work, or work differently, or both.

Reeves’ statements could be argued anecdotally or on the margins – but the research supports them.

Women Are Clustered in Lower Paying Jobs

Reeves points out that women are more clustered in lower-paying occupations and industries. That, he says, explains a third of the pay gap. “Clustering in lower-paying jobs” is occupational segregation.

Reeves Claims Institutional Sexism But Does Not Elaborate

There may be some evidence of bias toward hiring men (instead of women) in some occupations, but it is hard to prove. Reeves says institutional sexism (against women) exists, but he does not define what that is or cite research on that point. He has the most to say about the bias against hiring men in elementary education.

His claim of institutional sexism (against women) could be anchored to studies that try to uncover unconscious gender stereotypes for first-time leadership applicants, but that research was perhaps too far afield of his central message. His claims of institutional sexism seem, in this case, to be a bit of virtue signaling for his audience.

Reeves Puts Adjusted Pay Gap at 5% – But Does Not Give Detail

Reeves says various studies put the adjusted gender pay gap at about 5%. He must mean the gap caused by bias and discrimination, but he does not fully explain the various causes or examples that create this 5%. Even 5% is vastly different from the war cry of a gender pay gap of 18% caused by discrimination. It is just not true.

The Pay Gap is a Parenting Gap!

Most importantly, as repeated over and over by Goldin and other economists, the pay gap is a parenting gap! The gap between the time men versus women give to parenting is partly what is meant by “temporal inflexibility.”

Women take time off to raise children, drop out of a career trajectory, and reduce the number of hours worked. There is also some occupation segregation going on — women choose different jobs when they are raising children.

The earnings potential for women who do not have children looks similar to that for men.
~ Richard Reeves

The Bus and Train Drivers Study

In a study of bus and train drivers working for the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority, Harvard economists Valentin Bolotnyy and Natalia Emmanuel found that women, on average, earn $0.89 for every dollar earned by male peers.

But their analysis revealed that this pay gap “can be explained entirely by the fact that, while having the same choices in the workplace, women and men make different choices.”

The men were twice as likely to work overtime (which pays extra), even on short notice. They also took fewer hours of unpaid leave. Among train drivers with children, the gaps were even wider. Fathers wanted more overtime pay; mothers wanted more time off.

Women Reduce Hours If Their Husbands Make the Bucks

Not surprisingly, in another study of University of Chicago MBAs, women with the highest-earning husbands were most likely to reduce their working hours.

Few Women in the C-suite – a Red Herring?

Reeves says more work is needed for women’s economic success. He cites that only one in five C-suite company directors is a woman, and just 41 of the 500 Fortune 500 firms have a female CEO. He seems to forget what he just “learned” from Claudia Goldin and others that explain that differential.

How Many Women Want to be C-suite Directors?

How large is the pool of women who want to be C-suite directors and are qualified in direct comparison to men? How many women have worked enough continuous hours on a career trajectory to legitimately compete for those positions?

Yes, Women Are Equally Talented, But…

I would be the first to say that many of these women are equally talented, if not more so, than the men around them. I would be the first to say that we would be better off as a country if more women were in positions of leadership. But women have to want this – and there is one singular correction:

Change corporate culture to support working mothers – provide more paid childcare, after-school care, and leave without a penalty to their career. That is how to correct the pay/parenting gap!

Mate Selection Preference is the Undiscussable Infrastructure of the Gap

Here is what is “undiscussable:” women must be more willing to partner with and sexually desire men who make less money than them to close the aggregate pay gap and pay differentials in top management. Women may need to prefer men who will stay home and not make any money.

But, as long as women prefer to mate with men at the top of the corporate hierarchy, men will continue to work long, uninterrupted hours and compete against each other to be in the C-suites. The gap at the top will remain intact.

 

Notes

[1] The trend has been the other way regarding male representation in health, education, administration, and literacy (HEAL) jobs. In 2019, 26% were held by men, down from 35% in 1980, for full-time workers aged between 25-54.

[2] OECD (Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development) countries include Belgium, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Slovak Republic, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom.

[3] U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, “Labor Force Statistics from the Current Population Survey (2018),” as reported in The Women’s Leadership Gap, November 20, 2018.

[4] 16 top law schools ranked by U.S News and World Reports that have women in charge of their law reviews and law journals: Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Georgetown, Duke, University of Chicago, Columbia, NYU, University of Pennsylvania, University of Virginia, University of Michigan, Northwestern, C. Berkeley, Cornell, UCLA, and University of Texas, Austin.

Appendix

Moody’s (just released) March 2023 Report on Gender Management Gap

Moody’s Analytics released (March 2023) their report “Close the Gender Gap to Unlock Productivity Gains.” The report is focused on the proportion of women in senior and middle management positions, stating that improving gender parity in management positions can unlock higher economic prosperity, particularly in developing nations. Moody’s makes the undisputable observation that women have much lower representation in mining and construction than in health, social work, and education. Their data shows that women are 67.1% of leadership in health and social work and 61% in education. Moody’s opines that women achieve higher educational attainment than men but are significantly underrepresented in middle and senior management roles – causing an “underskilling” of women. Moody’s outlines the different choices made by women in education and work, but does not acknowledge the predictable lack of leadership in fields that women choose not to enter. Some pundits point to this report as evidence of gender biases or inequalities that have placed women in lower-paying occupations. Yet, there is no evidence in this report that women are placed (or forced) into lower-paying occupations. Moody’s says women are less likely to ask for promotions (as supported by other studies) and that women are held to higher standards than men. But no examples of the latter are in this report. (I have addressed related challenges for women in Double Bind Dilemmas for Women in Leadership.) Where Moody’s hits a home run is in recognizing what Richard Reeves outlines in Of Boys and Men. Moody’s says, “such policies as enforcing flexible working conditions, providing affordable childcare [including after-school], and providing maternity and paternity leave can help to drive change in the right direction.”

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Biological Differences – Part 5.2: Aggression, Risk-taking, and Sex Drive

Biological Differences – Part 5.2: Aggression, Risk-taking, and Sex Drive

by | Mar 2, 2023 | Biological Difference, Gender Politics, Men's Issues

Human males are more physically aggressive in all cultures at all ages.

~ Richard Reeves

The crisis of men and boys is exacerbated by a political narrative unwilling to acknowledge biological sex differences (What the Political Left Gets Wrong About Boys and Men- Part 3.1). By denying these differences, we cannot reform our educational curriculums to be fairer to boys or our places of work to be fairer to women. If we deny our biological differences, it will be harder for us to “reinvent fatherhood” and embrace the progress made toward gender equality. Given the gains made by women in recent decades and the significant challenges faced by men and boys, it makes no sense to treat gender inequality as a one-way street. Quoting Richard Reeves in my last post, “the rather boring truth is that masculine traits are more useful in some contexts and feminine ones in others, and neither set is intrinsically better than the other.”

Recognizing Biological Differences is a Radical Act

Recognizing and appreciating biological differences between the sexes has become a radical act in our current social-political milieu. Reeves was resistant to providing this counter-narrative but was confronted with the necessity to do so in addressing the crisis of boys and men. Evolutionary psychology, neuroscience, and sociobiology research have explored these issues for many years.

Biological Facts Don’t Deny or Suppress Sexual Preference or Gender Fluidity

Aside from the caveats to biological differences offered by Reeves in my last post, it must also be said: acknowledging basic biological facts does not deter acceptance and exploration of sexual preference fluidity or gender identities. Instead, it clarifies how evolution has built us to reproduce the species and adapt to different physical and cultural environments. For a more in-depth review of physical and behavioral differences between men and women, see Male & Female Biological Differences.

Biological Differences – Part 5.1

In my last post (Biological Differences Between the Sexes – Part 5.1), I described the differences between boys and girls related to the timing of their brain development. “By far,” says Reeves, “the biggest difference is not how female and male brains develop but when.” Boys’ brains develop more slowly, directly affecting their attention, self-regulation, and acquisition of skills and traits necessary for academic success.

Stress, Serotonin, and Aggressive Behavior

I also cited research that a stressful or unstable family environment appears to influence the capacity of the brain to metabolize serotonin. Serotonin helps to reduce aggressive behavior – and thus, a precarious home life would potentially cause boys to be more aggressive. The link between home life, serotonin, and aggression illustrates the interconnectedness of biology and “culture.”

Testosterone Has Significant Role in Behavioral Differences

This synergy of nature and nurture is further illustrated by how behavioral differences manifest between men and women — boys and girls — as a function of how androgens (testosterone) masculinize the brain. (See Appendix below.) Testosterone has a significant role in behavioral differences between the sexes related to aggression, risk, and sex drive.

Aggression, Risk, and Sex Drive

Sex differences in biology shape not only our bodies, including our brains, but also our psychology. We are not blank slates. Some of these differences are more about the timing of development rather than about the end results. But many differences are enduring. “Men are typically more aggressive, take more risks, and have a higher sex drive than girls and women,” says Reeves, reporting the research of Scott Kaufman. [1] Aggression, risk, and sex drive are co-mingled in sexual selection and reproduction. Behaviors of aggression, risk-taking, and sex drive are the most pronounced differences between men and women.

Aggression and Testosterone

One result of the testosterone bath of the male brain is a greater tendency toward physical aggression, not just in humans but in almost all primates and other mammals. Boys are five times more likely than girls to be frequently aggressive by the age of seventeen months! The gap widens until early adulthood before narrowing again. [2]

Testosterone and Aggression – It’s Complicated

According to Carole Hooven in Testosterone: The Story of the Hormone that Dominates and Divides Us, it looks like testosterone does not directly trigger aggression but instead amplifies it depending on the circumstances. The relationship between testosterone, masculinity, and aggression is complex. Reeves notes that most societies have become much less violent over time, and there are significant differences in crime rates among countries today. “That all these factors matter is not evidence that the relationship between T and aggression is weak,” Hooven writes, “rather it shows us that it’s complicated.”

Socialization and Biology Matter

Nobody denies that culture and socialization matter, and it would otherwise be difficult to explain the dramatic difference in levels of male violence between different places and eras. But Reeves adds, “it is equally silly to deny that biology matters here too, not least in the differences between men and women.”

Men Have a Greater Appetite for Risk

“The traits that get passed on are the reproductively effective ones, and that is what sexual selection is all about,” Reeves explains.

Men, for example, have a greater appetite for risk. Risky behavior is not a social construct; it can be identified in every known society throughout history, according to Joyce Benenson: Warriors and Worriers: The Survival of the Sexes.

“Sex differences exist in virtually every area in which risk has been studied,” Benenson reports, “with males engaging in more risk-taking than females – from hunter-gatherers to bank CEOs.”

Men Take More Risks Because of the Competition to Reproduce

Like aggression, risk-taking is one of the differences between male and female psychology rooted in our evolutionary history. Men in danger of becoming evolutionary duds will take serious risks to gain access to a mate — like committing a crime to get more resources or fighting in a potentially lucrative war. Men’s psychology shifts in ways that spark fierce male-male competition.

Reproductive Variance “Blows Your Mind”

Men take more risks because men are much less likely to reproduce than women. We have twice as many female ancestors as male ones. This difference between female and male ancestors is called “reproductive variance.” [3] DNA studies reveal that approximately 80% of women in human history have reproduced, compared to about 40% of men. This variance can take a minute to get your head around. Generally speaking, everyone must have a mother and father. But of course, one man can father many children with many women, while others father none at all. Genghis Khan, a direct ancestor of 1 in 200 people today, is perhaps the most famous example.

Math Problem of Too Many Men

To maximize reproduction, a culture needs all the wombs it can get, but a few penises can do the job. There is usually a penile surplus. ~ Roy Baumeister

Most human societies have been polygynous, allowing men to have multiple wives. You end up with what Harvard evolutionary psychologist Joseph Henrich calls the “math problem” of surplus men.

Men Will Risk to Save Others and Build Cities

Though male psychology is more wired for risk, antisocial forms of risk-taking (such as crime) occur only in circumstances of intense competition. Men are more willing to take risks to save others and do dangerous jobs (logging, construction, mining, fishing), which makes perfect evolutionary sense given the greater importance of female bodies for reproduction. We must be thankful for our (mostly male) firefighters, soldiers, and men who build skyscrapers. (Ninety-three percent of workplace fatalities were male in 2016, and 99.9% of military deaths are male.)

Courageous Acts by Men

Each year the Carnegie Hero Fund issues medals to civilians for courageous acts, specifically for risking their lives to save a stranger. In 2021, 66 of the 72 medals were awarded to men. As Margaret Mead wrote, “It is essential that the tasks of the future be organized [such that] dying for one’s country becomes unfeasible, and taking risks for that which is loved may still be possible” (Male and Female: A Study of the Sexes in a Changing World).

Men Are Just Lustier

Given that the differences between male and female psychology have emerged largely through sexual selection, it should be no surprise that the most significant difference between men and women is related to sex. As a matter of biological fact, men are just lustier and have, says anthropologist Melvin Konner, a more “driven” sexuality than women.” [4]

Female Drive and Sexual Motivation is Not as Strong

Occasionally there are articles by female bloggers asserting that the female sex drive is equal to a man’s. (It seems to be a badge of empowerment.) A recent one used evidence about rising female infidelity and described how women have a stronger “response desire” sexual motivation.

The phenomenon of “response desire” comes from Emily Nagoski, a sexuality expert and author of (Come As You Are). Nagoski disputes that sex exists as a “drive,” but she is clear that it is a motivational system in which men pursue with predominantly “spontaneous desire” and women operate primarily from “response desire” (See Spontaneous and Response Desire – the Underbelly of Heterosexual Mating.)

Response Desire is Evidence of a Less Robust Sex Drive

Response desire requires specific triggers (“a reason to have sex”) and a convergence of appropriate context to be guided into a sexual response. This is not proof of a stronger sex drive for women – quite the opposite. Response desire demonstrates a more complex and genuinely “weaker” sex drive that needs “jump-starts” out of a “neutral” gear. The spontaneous, initiating sexuality of a man is the essential condition of a higher sex drive. By definition, an always-ready spontaneous motivation for sex is “lustier’ than waiting for the right elements of context to provide a response motivation.

Using Nogaski’s research on response and spontaneous desire to make a case for a stronger female sex drive is a mischaracterization of her work.

Women Complain About Men’s Stronger Sex Drive Yet Dispute Its Existence

The fact that some women want to dispute that men have a stronger sex drive while also complaining about that very “lustiness” is silly and annoying. It is disrespectful to men to not accept the greater strength of the male sex drive as a biological fact, and it creates a pernicious double-bind for men when their sex drive is described pejoratively.

Acknowledging that men have a more robust sexual motivation system does not disempower women or denigrate their sexuality. Any logical analysis of sperm competition, male-on-male intrasexual competition, and reproductive variance would quickly reveal the evolutionary necessity of a more “muscular” male sex drive.

Evidence for a Stronger Male Sex Drive

As I have outlined in my blog posts and other writings, the evidence for men having a higher sex drive is shown in a review of 150 studies. Reeves summarizes some of this evidence, sourcing Roy Baumeister and colleagues. He could have also cited more recent work of Justin Lehmiller, Tell Me What You Want.

From Lehmiller, a higher male sex drive is evidenced by the following:

  •  More spontaneous sexual thoughts
  • More variety of sexual fantasies
  • Greater power of visual triggers
  • Desired frequency of intercourse
  • Desired number of partners
  • Frequency of masturbation
  • Liking more varied sexual practices (in general)
  • Unwillingness to forgo sex
  • Initiating vs. refusing sex
  • Making sacrifices for sex
  • State of near-perpetual readiness
  • Men pay for sex; women seldom do [5]

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
~ Billy Crystal Character, City Slickers

Women Cheat for A Variety of Reasons

Women cheat on their partners for a variety of reasons unrelated to their sex “drive.” As relationship expert Esther Perel says (Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs), “women are often looking more for a new self than a new partner.” (Also see Why Women Have Sex).

The Issue of Sexual Variety

Male sexuality generally seeks a variety of partners. Studies show that women may want more variety of sex with the same partner. But wanting more variety of sexual activities in a monogamous relationship just proves that women need more potent triggers for their sexual desire to be activated. Yes, more women are bored with the sex they are having. Men are not nearly as bored.

Another Way to Deny Biological Difference

Asserting an equal sex drive is another way for women and proponents of “progressive” politics to deny biological differences between the sexes. It is fueled by a false belief that a lesser aggregate sex drive somehow disempowers women in their quest for economic and political equality.

Evolutionary Reason for the Stronger Male Sex Drive

“There is a good evolutionary reason for this difference in sex drive. With a much higher chance of failing to father any children, men have had to be ready to take almost any opportunity for procreation,” says Reeves.

“Physically, men in their prime are hardwired to be in a state of near-perpetual readiness to couple with any female in their environment who is likely to conceive and bear children,” writes Marianne Legato, director of the Foundation for Gender-Specific Medicine.

In Conclusion – Connecting the Dots

How do biological differences between the sexes influence the crisis of boys and men?

  • By denying biological sex differences, it is easier to see the causes of the boys and men crisis as individual and not structural.
  • By denying biological sex differences, it is easier to believe that gender inequality only disadvantages women.
  • By denying biological sex differences, the needs of boys and men can remain invisible and not worthy of remediation through social policy and civic initiatives.

How do differences related to aggression, risk-taking, and sex drive cause or exacerbate the crisis of men and boys?

  • Expressions of aggression and risk-taking by boys can be misunderstood and inappropriately vilified in our schools.
  • Expressions of aggression, risk-taking and sexual motivation by boys and men can be labeled as toxic. Masculinity is thus pathologized, sending a signal to half of the population that there is something intrinsically wrong with them. Solutions based on this perception will be inappropriate, if not counter-productive.

[1] Scott Barry Kaufman, “Taking Sex Differences in Personality Seriously,” Scientific American, (December 2, 2019).

[2] Baillargeon, R., et al, “Gender Differences in Physical Aggression: A Prospective Population-Based Survey of Children Before and After 2 Years of Age,” Developmental Psychology February 2007).

[3] Jason Wilder et al., “Genetic Evidence for Unequal Effective Population Sizes of Human and Females and Males,” Molecular Biology and Evolution (November 2004).

[4] Melvin Konner, Women After All: Sex, Evolution, and the End of Male Supremacy, 2016.

[5] About 1 million prostitutes are working in the US today. A study in New York found that opening a strip club or escort agency reduced crime in the surrounding neighborhood by 13%.

Appendix

Masculinizing the Brain

All humans start out as female. The Y chromosome of human males begins to masculinize the body during the first (prenatal) two months and the brain during the first trimester. Male brains in the second trimester are usually altered by exposure to androgens that influence psychological sex differences, predicting the degree and kind of postnatal play preferences (rough and tumble), personality traits, (thrill-seeking and aggression), and cognitive abilities (mental rotation). Psychological sex differences emerge before extensive gender socialization has taken place.

 

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